Navigational Tip: “PTO” stands for “Person Taking Order”, a non-denominational bit of vagueness that will allow you to visualize said order-taker in a manner that best adheres to your own experiences. And here we go… ONE PTO: “Welcomecrackintheboxyourorder?” Me: “Okay, I believe you just attempted to greet […]
One from the archives… Background details: Yes, absinthe. Not the original version that made Nicole Kidman and all her little friends have visions and then sing about it in that one movie, but the modern version without the supposed hallucinatory properties. A certain resident of Denton, […]
Note: I’m sharing this post once again as Trump prepares to give his “State of the Union” address later today. (The last time I shared it was the infamous day of his inauguration.) Since his speech is guaranteed to be full of lies and xenophobia and hate, I […]
1. Eat a healthy breakfast. I struggled long and hard with this one, avoiding the kitchen so that I wouldn’t suddenly shove a Ding Dong in my mouth whilst guzzling a 2-liter of Coke. I purposely stayed in the home office and worked on my website, ignoring the […]
1. People don’t pay any attention to what’s going on around them. This is a general theme in all of his books, with the townsfolk taking forever to figure out that something is not quite right in their little burgh. Sure, we always have one character who clues […]
Fair warning: This little nugget has been excavated from the 2010 archives, and those of you who have been with me for a while are aware that I was exceptionally persnickety during that year… 1. The people who are coupon freaks. Okay, I’m all about saving money. […]
1. The shocking incident involving phallic violence. So, we pull into Whataburger along the way, because we’re pigs and we like grease. As Terry dashes inside whilst I stay in the car and do nothing of importance concerning this lark, I spy one of those little cylindrical stands […]
1. The constant nipple protrusion. When the temperature drops, my hi-beams come on. For hours at a time. And with an intensity that is mildly frightening. Some of my shirts are so lacerated at pec level that it looks like Edward Scissorhands dropped by for a drunken game […]
1. The Surly Temple This drink was originally created to placate people who confused their uptight religious upbringing (no demon alcohol!) with their natural social inclination to have a good time with their less salvation-based friends. Sadly, because the Surly Temple has no actual alcohol and did nothing […]
Note: Taking a short break from the Quik Trip saga (half of you will be disgruntled about this, the other half will light a votive candle of appreciation) to share an older bit that the lovely Melanie excavated during her archaeological dig on my old website. This one […]
Bonnywood Manor 
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