1. Avoid social interactions with questionable relatives. Yes, you do have to offer an initial greeting to everyone that you see, this is only polite, but your line of responsibility ends there. Once you have achieved this basic fake show of happiness that you have seen them once […]
Editor’s Note: This is a refurbished older post, a cautionary tale of what can happen when you mix the gift-exchange process with excessive amounts of alcohol. The references are a wee bit dated, but the underlying moral is the same: Don’t drink and unwrap. Unless everybody else […]
1. It will destroy your soul. Granted, there was a time and place when I greatly enjoyed swaddling carefully-selected gifts in whimsically-printed paper. I would spend hours ensuring that each box o’ joy was so meticulously enshrined in festive wrapping that angels would descend from Heaven and sing […]
Click here to read Part 1 of my loving tribute to the Yuletide Season. Otherwise, plunge right in… 9. The issue about the things you shove in a bird. First off, we have this raging debate on what one calls the bread-based concoction that one uses to […]
Click here to read Part 1 of my loving tribute to the Yuletide Season. Otherwise, plunge right in… 4. The madness of idiots who have somehow passed a driving test at some point in their lives. Granted, the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex is not going to win any […]
1. Getting all that crap out of the attic. Dragging boxes out of their non-holiday nursing home wasn’t such a big deal 20 years and 30 pounds ago. It wasn’t my favorite activity even then, but I could generally haul the goods in less than 15 minutes without […]
Ah, that time of year when the desperation factor intensifies as you search for perfect holidays gifts, venturing into stores that you don’t normally frequent… 1. I clearly don’t make enough money in my life. What do people do for a living that are able to afford paying […]
Click here to read this story from the beginning. Initially, the room was in stunned silence following Buford’s pronouncement that he wished to serve the Lord via a midlife career change, and then the chaos descended. “Now you’re my favorite son!” squealed Granny Crown, hurling herself into […]
Click here to read this story from the beginning. Momma Crown sighed for the twenty-second time that day as she entered the living room and approached her mother-in-law, who was standing at the picture window in the front of the room. “Tell me, Mother,” she queried, “why […]
Click here to read this story from the beginning. Before Momma Crown could counsel her child that it was entirely possible to be popular without being a miniature slut, there was a clatter as Granny Crown traipsed into the kitchen from the living room. “Mother!” exclaimed Momma […]
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