Editor’s Note: This is a refurbished older post, a cautionary tale of what can happen when you mix the gift-exchange process with excessive amounts of alcohol. The references are a wee bit dated, but the underlying moral is the same: Don’t drink and unwrap. Unless everybody else […]
Circa 1975… Emily: “God, Mom. Why did you bring me here? I thought we were going shopping for Christmas presents.” Mom: “That’s exactly what we’re doing.” Emily: “But I’ve never heard of this place. So I know I don’t want anything they have.” Mom: “Well, we’re not shopping […]
1. Slim Jims from the corner convenience store. [Take cheap plastic meat out of cheap plastic packaging prior to arrival. Wrap meat in the ugly silk scarf that Cousin Edna tossed your way 20 years ago and you’ve never worn.] “This is a special friendship log that I […]
These days, if I bother to reflect on what I might want for Christmas, I’m rarely able to stay on topic for any length of time. After all, at my age, I’ve been around the block at least four thousand times (arrested a time or two on some […]
1. The stupid box it comes in. As soon as you dump the various sections of the tree out of the shiny, new box, you might as well throw the box away. You are never going to get all of the tree back in that box. And as […]
1. Avoid social interactions with questionable relatives. Yes, you do have to offer an initial greeting to everyone that you see, this is only polite, but your line of responsibility ends there. Once you have achieved this basic fake show of happiness that you have seen them once […]
Editor’s Note: This is a refurbished older post, a cautionary tale of what can happen when you mix the gift-exchange process with excessive amounts of alcohol. The references are a wee bit dated, but the underlying moral is the same: Don’t drink and unwrap. Unless everybody else […]
1. It will destroy your soul. Granted, there was a time and place when I greatly enjoyed swaddling carefully-selected gifts in whimsically-printed paper. I would spend hours ensuring that each box o’ joy was so meticulously enshrined in festive wrapping that angels would descend from Heaven and sing […]
Click here to read Part 1 of my loving tribute to the Yuletide Season. Otherwise, plunge right in… 9. The issue about the things you shove in a bird. First off, we have this raging debate on what one calls the bread-based concoction that one uses to […]
Click here to read Part 1 of my loving tribute to the Yuletide Season. Otherwise, plunge right in… 4. The madness of idiots who have somehow passed a driving test at some point in their lives. Granted, the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex is not going to win any […]
Recent Comments