So, I innocently wander into the kitchen, wanting a little snack but not really sure what that might entail. I’m not dying of hunger, but I’m at that age when the simple things please me, like shoving food in my mouth when I don’t really need it. (It’s […]
Note: This was a personal mea culpa to my friend Laura, who I done did wrong one day… Prosecuting Attorney Lowena Purvis cleared her throat rather demonstratively, an attention-getting device she had perfected while studying law at Beaver Valley Community College in Syracuse. This effort at guttural domination […]
We’ve all been there. You’re in a public place. Or semi-public. It doesn’t really matter. The point is that there are people around and you cannot do certain things. You should not be digging for Waldo in your honker. Touching your genitals, even if it’s a simple readjustment […]
Click here to read the first part of this story. Sharon paused in the midst of comforting me as I lay sprawled on the skating rink floor, not quite certain that she had heard me correctly. “The naked man? What naked man?” Just then , the Hellions […]
Summer, 1974. Or thereabouts. It was either that summer or the next, making me either 9 or 10 years old. The exact time frame is a little hazy, but I remember a certain song playing on the radio all summer. A quick check of the Billboard charts shows […]
It all started with a bicycle and a random gaggle of neighborhood boys. Bicycles were cool. You simply had to have one if you wanted any kind of street rep. There was no discussion on the matter. If you did not have a bicycle, your rank in society […]
I knew it was going to come to this. But first, some filler. Our neighborhood has an interesting character. It was built, for the most part, in the 1950s, when this part of Dallas was actually somewhat swanky. No mansions, mind you, not that ritzy, but there are […]
Dearest Neighbor, How are you this fine morning? I trust that you realize it is morning. Quite early in the morning, as a matter of fact. Were you aware of this? Perhaps not. Maybe you’re one of those people who leap out of bed without any concept of […]
To read this tragic tale from the beginning, click here. A few days after my Norma Rae incident on the front stoop, there is a jackhammer attacking my innocent driveway. (“Why do you want to hurt me when I’ve done nothing to you?” asks said driveway. “Because […]
To read this tragic tale from the beginning, click here. The dinner party was a success, despite the constant threat of our poo spilling into the neighborhood. The above sentence frightens me on a number of psychological levels. One, it’s a true statement. That alone indicates an […]
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