Category: Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #517

Humphrey: “Say, what happened to your face there, doll? Has your man been wallopin’ you around? I can take care of him if you want me to. Just say the word.” Ida: “Well, as much as I would like to belittle my husband for the wretched things he […]

Past Imperfect – #488

Boris, left: “Gentlemen, I have some tragic news to report.” Henry, middle: “Our plan to steal the body of Walt Whitman has failed?” Bela, right: “The Barbershop Quartet Selection Committee turned us down because we don’t have enough members?” Boris: “Oh, I wasn’t aware that we were still […]

Past Imperfect – #306

Father: “You’ve disappointed me again, Clara.” Clara: “Whatever could you mean, Father?” Father: “Coming home drunk again, all tarted up and messy.” Clara: “How could you possibly think I was drink?” Father: “”Because you’re talking to the hat rack over there, and I’m over here.” Clara: “Oh. I […]

Past Imperfect – #297

Joan: “Oh, my lover, you excite me so.” Cliff: “Really? That’s news to me. I’ve seen stronger signs of life at a mortuary.” Joan: “Oh, silly, this is such a romantic setting. How could I not be in the mood?” Cliff: “Romantic? This is a fake park bench […]

Past Imperfect – #506

During a recent excavation at a long-abandoned country club in the township of Martha’s Future Vineyard, Massachusetts, just south of Cape Cod, a startling discovery was made. In this primitive example of early photography, circa 1778, it appears that the founding fathers of our country perhaps held back […]

Past Imperfect – #296

At the start of the photo shoot, Clara had been very excited about being aboard a sailing ship on a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the seagulls were making delightful gull noises, the gently bobbing waves were soothing, and the refreshing salty breeze reminded her of many […]

Past Imperfect – #295

Irene: “When I was a little girl, I dreamed of standing outside a wagon-wheeled bungalow while a dark-haired man tried to win my affections.” Cary: “How fascinating. When I was a little girl, I dreamed of wearing questionable socks and glossy short-shorts.” Irene: “That doesn’t sound right. Are […]

Past Imperfect – #505

Detective: “Do you know why we called you down to the station?” Woman: “I have no idea. Is this something to do with the parking tickets? I really did mean to pay them, but I get distracted easily. I lived in Montana for a while and that messes […]

Past Imperfect – #500

William: “It says here in the paper that we’ve reached a significant milestone. I suppose we should celebrate. And by celebrate, I mean drink alcohol and pretend to be happier than we really are.” Myrna: “I’m perplexed. And by perplexed, I mean that I’m immediately suspicious of you […]