Category: Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #472

Joan: “Look, I understand that you are upset, but there is absolutely no reason for you to be shoving your hand anywhere near my bosom. You’re not a casting director.” Cliff: “No, you don’t understand. I have been in the kitchen all day, sweating my ass off and […]

Past Imperfect – #212

There are many things that a Hollywood Starlet must do in order to be promoted to Hollywood Star, even if they don’t particularly relish those things. In this fine example, the powers that be are forcing Carole to appear enraptured by her potential Christmas gifts whilst wearing skimpy […]

Past Imperfect – #215

Clara’s Diary: “December 24th, late. So I met this guy. I was at a bar in West Hollywood, that part of town where all the set decorators live. I really only went in there because I really needed to pee. We’d been to the Cocoanut Grove earlier, and […]

Past Imperfect – #400

Note: Those of you who have been with me for a while know that I have certain stories that I re-share during the holidays. This is the first of several that you will see (re-see?) over the next few weeks. Enjoy.   Momma: “Lucille, get away from the […]

Past Imperfect – #470

Him: “So, it’s happening again, is it?” Her: “I’m afraid so. It’s Christmas time in the city.” Him: “Silver bells and snowy WordPress themes?” Her: “Ring-a-ling and hear them ping.” Him: “You know, when I was a wee lad, I really enjoyed Christmas. So much wonder and hope.” […]

Past Imperfect – #468

Little Sally: “Are we really supposed to eat that? It looks like roadkill.” Little Billy: “I know it’s not pretty. But it’s only a month until Christmas and you know what that means.” Little Sally: “That there will be another one of these dead birds on the table?” […]

Past Imperfect – #335

Douglas Fairbanks: “Well, here we go again.” Mary Pickford: “Now, Dougie, let’s not be grumpy. You know we have to deal with the press, it’s just what we do as Hollywood Royalty.” Douglas: “But why do we have to let them into our house? It’s annoying.” Mary: “Because […]

Past Imperfect – #367

Hi there. My name is Betty. This shouldn’t surprise you, because in the year that I was born everyone on the damn planet named their child Betty. This was a disappointing development, and nothing hacks away at your self-esteem like being christened with an uninspired moniker shared by […]

Past Imperfect – #396

Well, since we’re just mere days away, I thought I should drag out a few Halloween posts…   Carole first realized that perhaps she had gotten off at the wrong subway stop when that whiny little girl from The Exorcist began waving about an inverted crucifix. She braced […]