Category: Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #265

Kim: “I seem to have snagged my dress on something and I’m unable to release my pent-up desires.” William: “Who cares about your dress? I’ve got my shirt caught on this dead Cooter Tree and it’s making me pose in an unrealistic manner.” Kim: “Well, at least your […]

Past Imperfect – #493

William: “Darling, could you explain to me why you’re doing what you’re doing?” Jean: “We’ve already discussed this, poodle. I’m practicing to be a brain surgeon.” William: “Why do I get the feeling that this lovely procedure is not something you’ve ever read in a textbook?” Jean: “Textbook? […]

Past Imperfect – #434

Crystal, left: “Do you have any idea what we’re supposed to be doing in this scene?” Methal, right: “Beats me. Something about innocent virgins in the forest being stalked by men with unresolved childhood issues. They had ten-cent drinks at Piero’s last night, so I barely looked at […]

Past Imperfect – #100

Walter, internally: “I don’t know why we’re doing this. I only went on this date so my parents would quit pestering me about the fact that I haven’t shown any interest in women since birth. I want to stay in my father’s will, naturally, because an inherited lifestyle […]

Past Imperfect – #243

During the Depression, funding for public playgrounds dried up, so the little urchins had to make do with what they could find. Luckily, at least for Little Sarah Huckabee, this experience proved to be great training. Eventually, she would meet a man named Donald who would show her […]

Past Imperfect – #242

“The only thing that can possibly explain this scene is the now-empty enormous coffee cup in the lower right…” Suddenly, someone stomped into my home office. I cannot name this person because said person is one of those family members who does not care to be mentioned in […]

Past Imperfect – #244

Giselle, on the Right: “Whatever are you working on, darling?” Veronique, on the Left: “Oh, I’m just jotting down a few notes for when the police arrive. Don’t mind me.” Giselle: “The police? That seems rather intrusive. Why on earth would they do that?” Veronique: “Well, I did […]

Past Imperfect – #91

The college professor clicked a button and the photo appeared on the screen behind him. He addressed the class before him. “Today, we will learn about the variability of perception. How surfaces can inadvertently lie, which can then lead to lies maliciously surfacing. Tell me your first impressions. […]

Past Imperfect – #426

The lovely Saturday evening had been going splendidly until Claudette laughed just a bit too hard and the cauliflower casserole from dinner backfired unexpectedly. Her bloomers billowed, the conversation ceased, the cab driver discreetly rolled down a window before they all perished, and the possibility of a second […]

Past Imperfect – #188

Dr. Machismo, addressing his Psychology 101 class: “Students, in this classic snapshot, the photographer has managed to capture the full range of male sexuality. A lovely maiden is simply trying to transport a freshly-picked butternut squash to the Rome apartment of her beloved grandmother, Mary Elizabeth Catherine Marie […]