Category: Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #201

Bette: “At one point I cared, but then I sobered up. Now I just want to make sure that whatever is happening over there can’t be connected back to me in any way.”  Note: This is part of an on-going experiment at Bonnywood. Details found here. P.S. And […]

Past Imperfect – #196

Let’s hope that the mirror, mirror explains to Giselle that one doesn’t pair frilly window treatments with low-grade Venetian blinds. (We’ll overlook the glaring, slatternly choice of nearly exposing her trundle bed to the world. Some people have challenges in their life that just can’t be met.) Note: […]

Past Imperfect – #192

Bob: “There’s this new thing they’re inventing, it’s called television. I think you should give it a try.” Lucille: “Gee, I don’t know. You think I’d be any good at it?” Note: This is part of an on-going experiment at Bonnywood. Details found here.

Past Imperfect – #187

Basil: “Halt. Before you proceed, you must answer an important question. Is that Jheri-Curl in your hair?” Tyrone: “Of course not. It hasn’t been invented yet. More importantly, is that a tornado tattoo where you sideburn should be? Have you joined a street gang recently?” Basil: “Heavens, no.  […]

Past Imperfect – #186

Robert: “I sure hope this movie is a hit. I don’t want to be one of those people who ends up working with animals in a TV series. Especially birds, birds are the worst, they always upstage you.” Scott: “Well, I really don’t care what project I work […]

Past Imperfect – #184

Contestant on the Left: “I really think I’m going to win this beauty pageant. I have the longest fake curls, I placed a discreet tiara on my head as a subliminal message, and I bravely chose to wear dark stockings instead of the standard virginal-white. Like anybody up […]

Past Imperfect – #182

Left to right… Guy #1: “Golly gee, I can’t believe I got elected to Congress with these other fine gentlemen. I was just trying to get a fishing license and I guess I filled out the wrong paperwork. I don’t even know where Washington is. I wonder if […]

Past Imperfect – #178

Are any of these men able to wear a hat with grace and style? No. Is the happy kindergarten teacher with the six beers an alcoholic? Yes. Is that Sandra Bernhard doing a photo bomb on the right? Quite possibly. Will any of these people remember what they […]

Past Imperfect – #177

For the Vanderbilts, this was merely the servants’ quarters…  Note: This is part of an on-going experiment at Bonnywood. Details found here. P.S. And yes, I realize that some of these ancient, never-updated Past Imperfects are less than stellar when it comes to imagination and wit. This is […]