Category: Past Imperfect

Past Imperfect – #375

Cary: “So, did you sneak in the hacksaw so I can cut through these bars and blow this joint?” Katharine: “I might have. Or maybe I didn’t. You need to answer some questions first.” Cary: “I got nothin’ else to do in here except hope that I don’t […]

Past Imperfect – #308

Corinne: “Go to Hollywood, they said. Become a big star, they promised. And it all worked out for a while, and I got to go to all the right parties. Then some fool invented talking pictures, and overnight my career tanked. Now I’m stuck doing ill-advised publicity shots […]

Past Imperfect – #299

Note: For this one to work, you should be aware that Mary Fallin is currently the governor of Oklahoma, and she graduated with honors from the Trump University School of Cultural Demonization and Delusional Hypocrisy. Rachel Maddow is the host of a news program on MSNBC…   As […]

Past Imperfect – #569

Henry: “I yearn for you desperately.” Barbara: “How touching. But as you can see by the perfect curl artfully-arranged on my forehead, I’m not particularly fond of touching. Because it might jack with the curl and I spent far too much time in makeup for such a thing […]

Past Imperfect – #474

King Edward VIII: “And so it is with heavy heart that I must abdicate the throne so I can be with the woman I love. I’m sure that many of you are worried about what this means for our country and the value of the commemorative plates you […]

Past Imperfect – #571

Director: “Has anybody seen Marlon? I need him on the set.” Bitter Scriptwriter: “Why does he have to be here? My words are superb. Anybody could do this scene, assuming that they can read.” Not-bitter Production Assistant who still believed that she could bed The Brando given the […]

Past Imperfect – #345

Evelyn: “What on earth are you doing in my apartment? And why are you holding my diaphragm case?” Inspector: “Is that what this is? I thought maybe you were collecting those little Jewish hats. But since we’re on the subject, why is this case encrusted with rhinestones?” Evelyn: […]

Past Imperfect – #442

Claudette: “Excuse me, but is this the way to San Jose?”   Originally published in “Crusty Pie” on 10/23/16. No changes made, even though it took every fiber of my being not to diddle with it, choosing instead to leave this one as a tribute to the early […]

Past Imperfect – #566

Lucy: “Oh, look at this. There’s a huge pile of photographers over there, something you promised wouldn’t happen if we flew economy to Palm Springs Airport.” Desi: “Now, now, mi bambina. I can’t control everything. Don’t get so agitated. Sometimes I swear you’re more Latina than I am.” […]

Past Imperfect – #565

Greta, the wife, left: “Is this what it’s come to, with this massive table representing the distance in our marriage?” Felix, the servant, fiddling with who knows what, center, whispering: “Girl, don’t poke the bear. You know he has unregulated testosterone issues.” Anders, husband, possible bear, right: “Whatever […]