Past Imperfect – #313

Howard Hughes: “I’m pleased to meet you, Bette.” Bette Davis: “Likewise, I’m sure. Thank you for participating in this charity event.” Howard: “Happy to do so. But what, exactly, are we supporting?” Bette: “Why, we’re raising funds for a new animal shelter. Surely you read the invitation.” Howard: […]

Past Imperfect – #311

The prosecuting attorney dramatically flourished Exhibit A: “As you can see by this photo, drug usage was rampant at the Beverly Hills Tennis Club in 1932!” Defense Attorney: “And what, other than your well-known alcoholism, led you to this questionable conclusion?” Prosecution: “First of all, we have Gilbert […]

Past Imperfect – #306

Father: “You’ve disappointed me again, Clara.” Clara: “Whatever could you mean, Father?” Father: “Coming home drunk again, all tarted up and messy.” Clara: “How could you possibly think I was drink?” Father: “”Because you’re talking to the hat rack over there, and I’m over here.” Clara: “Oh. I […]

Past Imperfect – #297

Joan: “Oh, my lover, you excite me so.” Cliff: “Really? That’s news to me. I’ve seen stronger signs of life at a mortuary.” Joan: “Oh, silly, this is such a romantic setting. How could I not be in the mood?” Cliff: “Romantic? This is a fake park bench […]