Here at the Neurotica Café, we offer a full dining experience to ensure that you have the most emotionally-appropriate meal you have ever had. We accept all major credit cards and most insurance plans. Reservations are strongly suggested, both mentally and physically. 1. The Passive-Aggressive Patty Melt […]
Laura thought she had the perfect life: Four suitors vying for her hand (even if three of them were related and one of them was her Sunday School teacher), only three children born out of wedlock (a record for her family, as all the women in her line […]
We start out with Rihanna at some military camp, at night, where she is trouncing around in front of some soldier types and apparently barking out orders in Swahili or some such. I suppose she might be informing them of the details on their stealth mission, but it’s […]
Sadie is very, very happy. Sadie is also very, very drunk. Behind her, Baby Sadie (so named because Momma Sadie had focus issues when it came time to fill out that birth certificate) is just realizing that she will once again have to find a nice gentleman to […]
Click here to read Part 1 of this story, if needed. Otherwise, here we go… Now that we’ve had the “clean and squeaky” tour of the city, with all the pretty lights and charming houses, it’s time to peel back the layers and find out what’s really […]
Click here to read Part 1 of this story, if needed. Otherwise, here we go… Okay, folks, we’re taking a break from the narrative and spending a bit of time analyzing snapshots of The Christmas Village. All of these shots were taken by my esteemed photographer sister […]
Bather #1: “I just found out about a place called Fire Island!” Bather #2: “My breasts are not on speaking terms at the moment. I don’t know what happened.” Bather #3: “Yes, I am wearing a bathing suit. Not that it would matter.” Bather #4: “I just made […]
Click here to read Part 1 of this story, if needed. Otherwise, here we go… So I raced home in my car, loaded down with the slightly illicit stash of goods from Lou’s Emporium of Budget Miniature Housing and Questionable Moral Values, in an overly giddy […]
Him: “My dearest, as I expire dramatically in this wheat field, while the city where we met burns to mere ashes in the background, know that I have always loved you, and the image of your beautiful face will be with me always, Maria.” Her: “That was so […]
Click here to read Part 1 of this story, if needed. Otherwise, here we go… And thus began a satanic pact between a gossipy Southern gal with strong hypocritical tendencies and the City Slicker from southern Dallas who may or may not have evil intentions but […]
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