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Peace. Tranquility. Insanity.

It’s the Crate Bumpkin, Harley Crown – Part 3

By Brian Lageose on December 21, 2013 • ( 1 Comment )

Click Here to read this story from the beginning. Momma Crown sighed for the twenty-second time that day as she entered the living room and approached her mother-in-law, who was standing at the picture window in the front of the room. “Tell me, Mother,” she queried, “why is […]

It’s the Crate Bumpkin, Harley Crown – Part 2

By Brian Lageose on December 6, 2013 • ( 2 Comments )

Click Here to read this story from the beginning. Before Momma Crown could counsel her child that it was entirely possible to be popular without being a miniature slut, there was a clatter as Granny Crown traipsed into the kitchen from the living room. “Mother!” exclaimed Momma Crown. […]

It’s the Crate Bumpkin, Harley Crown – Part 1

By Brian Lageose on December 3, 2013 • ( 3 Comments )

  Note: The following is a short series that I created for one of my other blogs a few years ago. The original intent of the series was to show appreciation for some of my ardent blog followers by working their names into the story line. Reading it […]

10 Reasons Why Salad Bars Are Just Like Real Life

By Brian Lageose on November 22, 2013 • ( 3 Comments )

1. Nobody really wants the lettuce. Sure, we’ve been raised as consumers to believe that the foundation of any decent salad is chopped-up leafage of some kind. This is a scam. Do not fall for it. The salad people want you to load up on the greenery so […]

20 Signs That I Was A Complete Geek In High School

By Brian Lageose on November 3, 2013 • ( 2 Comments )

    Picture it. Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. Late 70’s, early 80’s. We didn’t have any money. And GO… 1. The fact that I would go out in public looking like I did in the photo above. 2. A female friend had to pull me aside and discreetly inform […]

10 Reasons Why I Shouldn’t Go Grocery Shopping Without Supervision

By Brian Lageose on October 28, 2013 • ( 4 Comments )

1. The parking lot. The uncontrolled behavior starts before I even get in the store. I’m one of those who doesn’t like to park anywhere near the entrances to a retail establishment, because some drivers are incredibly stupid and inconsiderate and I don’t want them maneuvering a vehicle […]

10 Signs That You Might Not Be Getting Enough Whoopie In Your Life

By Brian Lageose on October 27, 2013 • ( 2 Comments )

    1. You become aroused simply walking through the produce section of the supermarket. (Stay away from the cucumbers and the carrots. And you might want to avoid the gourds as well, because some of those raised bumps can look very interesting.) 2. You seem to be […]

10 Things To Do While Waiting for an Inspirational Blog Idea

By Brian Lageose on October 26, 2013 • ( Leave a comment )

    1. Open the refrigerator door and stare into it. It’s still all the same stuff that was in there the last twenty times you looked, but if you stare hard enough you will notice something that you haven’t seen in a while. You probably won’t want […]

10 More Signs That Your Body Just Isn’t What It Used To Be

By Brian Lageose on October 25, 2013 • ( 26 Comments )

  1. You wake up in the morning and you aren’t really sure who you are. You crack the seal on one eye and look around. Something seems to have disturbed your slumber, but it’s not really clear. After perusing a few questionable things around you (Did I […]

15 Updated Adult Beverages to Help You Cope With Modern Society

By Brian Lageose on October 21, 2013 • ( Leave a comment )

  1. The Surly Temple This drink was originally created to placate people who confused their uptight religious upbringing (no demon alcohol!) with their natural social inclination to have a good time with their less salvation-based friends. Sadly, because the Surly Temple has no actual alcohol and did […]

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