Past Imperfect – #44
Mabel was quite disappointed to learn that her gentleman caller was only here to spray for termites…
Flash Backward – #3: Idiot Fondue
Note: In one of my past blogger lives, I had a site wherein I pretended to be a pompous therapist (with the stunningly original name of “Dr. Brian”), and I dispensed advice to adventurous readers who pretended to have issues. (Yes, it was just as absurd as […]
Past Imperfect – #317
Joan: “What do you mean you won’t allow me to check in to this hotel?” Desk Clerk: “We have a strict policy against letting people into the building with eyebrows that are bigger than the Chrysler Building. It’s a structural issue, and we can’t jeopardize the safety of […]
I’m About to Expose Myself in Public and I Want Others to Join Me
The Premise: Multi-talented Kah at Kah Choon’s Blog recently nominated me for The Liebster Award, a “Discover New Blogs” kind of thing where one blogger gives a shout-out to 11 other bloggers they find interesting (or at least not-annoying). Since I enjoy reading Kah’s blog, where the topics […]
Past Imperfect – #315
Reporter, passing by: “Excuse me, gentlemen. Could I have a word with you?” Edward: “We’re a little busy here and this thing is kind of heavy so… no.” James: “Get lost, sister.” Reporter: “This will only take a few minutes. I couldn’t help but notice that you appear […]
Past Imperfect – #313
Howard Hughes: “I’m pleased to meet you, Bette.” Bette Davis: “Likewise, I’m sure. Thank you for participating in this charity event.” Howard: “Happy to do so. But what, exactly, are we supporting?” Bette: “Why, we’re raising funds for a new animal shelter. Surely you read the invitation.” Howard: […]
Fake Nachos and Multiple Zippers: Jason Derulo – “In My Head”
We get things started outside some convenience store, one of those places where the owners charge you three times the decent price of an item because you’re desperate and in a hurry. There are some people we don’t know wandering around the parking lot, some of them flirting, […]
Past Imperfect – #30
Upper West Side Story: There’s gonna be a rumble tonight…
51 Things about 49 Movies
For my last birthday, I scribbled out a piece named 50/50, fifty random thoughts after 50 years of life. I still rather like what I did with that, so when I woke up this morning, on the first day of my 51st year, I thought I would continue […]
Past Imperfect – #311
The prosecuting attorney dramatically flourished Exhibit A: “As you can see by this photo, drug usage was rampant at the Beverly Hills Tennis Club in 1932!” Defense Attorney: “And what, other than your well-known alcoholism, led you to this questionable conclusion?” Prosecution: “First of all, we have Gilbert […]
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