This is a poem I wrote for a special friend who had just lost her brother. These are my reactive thoughts to a specific relationship, but I think, I hope, that the words can provide at least a tiny bit of solace to all siblings who […]
1. The song on the alarm clock radio is unsatisfactory. One should not have to greet the day with a bad soundtrack. Hit the snooze button and wait for something better to play. If this takes 3 hours, that’s fine. 2. You might have to iron […]
It’s amazing how messing with just a word or two in a title can totally change your marketing demographic… 1. “The Combine Strikes Back” 2. “Lawrence of Alabama” 3. “The Sound of Mooing” 4. “A Streetcar Named Bessie Mae” 5. “From Here to That Tree over Yonder” 6. […]
Let us all praise the modern technology that resulted in the magnificent plastic combination of a fork and a spoon. So many, many ways to pass your time with such a creation… 1. Pretend the spork is a microphone and act like you are Cher in […]
Note: Bestie Tiffany and I ingested a few Reese’s dark chocolate peanut butter cups and loopiness ensued as we envisioned interesting headstones one might encounter in a cemetery… 1. “The wi-fi really sucks in here.” 2. “I didn’t realize you were THAT invested in watching the Super Bowl.” […]
1. Getting the lawn mower out of the shed Once upon a time, we thought it would be really cute to convert the garage into another den, because we had too much furniture in the rest of the house. (I have an inability to think of where I’m […]
1. People will stampede if food is involved. Until 11am, everybody in the building is a sloth. Phones are unanswered, priority emails are ignored, and conference calls are full of long silences and the sounds of tumbleweeds blowing past. Nothing is accomplished whatsoever, with customers out of service, […]
1. Who are all these strange people sleeping on your couches? Granted, some of them look a little familiar, so they could actually be invited guests who decided they might not be in the best condition to get on the nation’s highways. But it’s hard to tell. Let’s […]
1. You have to show up for work on time. For some diabolic reason, they always schedule these torture sessions first thing in the morning. There’s absolutely no legitimate reason for this, because no one, I don’t care who you are, functions their best before 10am. At that […]
McDonald’s was the pivotal food-purveyance establishment where all the young uns developed life-long addictions to fried, processed, protein-void food that would ensure we would grow up to line the pockets of the healthcare industry. (We didn’t know squat about “healthy eating” back then. When you were hungry, you […]
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