1. It’s round. This is a relatively safe shape. There are generally no sharp edges where you can accidentally slice open an artery, and that’s always a good thing. Now, there is a minimal amount of inherent danger if your pizza is not already pre-sliced when you attack […]
Casa Bonita was essentially a Mexican restaurant masquerading as a theme park. It was a cavernous place that seemed to go on for miles, with multiple seating areas that had individual motifs going on, like “village square” and “tropical garden”. The absolute best place to sit was in […]
Shotgun Sam’s was a pizza place that bravely made the attempt to delight both the youngsters and the older folks who had produced those youngsters, planned or unplanned. It was also one of the few places that Grandpa Lageose would bless with his approval, as he was one […]
Borden’s Cafeteria was one of the finest food emporiums ever, at least in my limited-view childhood mind. At one point, there were multiple locations, but we only ever went to the one at Sheridan Village. The thrilling allure of this particular venue was that you could drive up […]
1. “How to Remove Your Head from Your Ass Using Common Household Items” 2. “The Margarita-Based Diet” 3. “He’s So Completely Not into You That He’s Moving to Another Planet” 4. “Chicken Soup for the Soulless” 5. “The Five Best Ways to Keep People from Slapping You” 6. […]
1. Eat a healthy breakfast. I struggled long and hard with this one, avoiding the kitchen so that I wouldn’t suddenly shove a Ding Dong in my mouth while guzzling a 2-liter of Coke. I purposely stayed in the home office and worked on my website, ignoring the […]
1. The constant nipple protrusion. When the temperature drops, my hi-beams come on. For hours at a time. And with an intensity that is mildly frightening. Some of my shirts are so lacerated at pec level that it looks like Edward Scissorhands dropped by for a drunken game […]
1. “Why are you always doing that? Who are you?” 2. “Do you have a hall pass?” 3. “Did you know your steering wheel is on the wrong side?” 4. “Did you hear about the free oil change?” 5. “I’m lonely. Will you be my friend?” 6. “Thank […]
I understand that some of our fellow travelers don’t quite grasp the instructional signage they may encounter whilst driving to their therapist. Let me help you out with that. 1. YIELD This means that you are not the priority in this situation. Other people temporarily have more authority, […]
1. People still don’t know how to dress in public. Granted, we’re not talking about the red carpet on Oscar Night. But come on, folks, there are some decency rules that you need to follow. Spandex has never been recognized as appropriate social attire. Sandals should never be […]
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