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Peace. Tranquility. Insanity.

10 Things I Would Be Doing As a Kid on a Saturday In 1973

By Brian Lageose on January 10, 2014 • ( Leave a comment )

1. Watching all the crazed, clearly-drug-inspired cartoons on Saturday morning. I would leap out of bed at the earliest crack and race to turn the TV on and then sit there, glued, for hours. My favorite reefer madness was this thing called “Lidsville”, about a real boy and […]

10 Reasons Why Having The Flu Completely Sucks

By Brian Lageose on January 3, 2014 • ( 11 Comments )

1. The massive, pounding headache. Your sinuses have swollen to the size of grapefruits, forcing everything else in your head to adjust, and nobody is really happy about that. Every single pain receptor in your noggin is reporting the dissatisfaction. It’s an overload of misery every waking second, […]

10 Things I Just Realized While Wrapping Christmas Presents

By Brian Lageose on December 29, 2013 • ( 1 Comment )

1. It sucks. Granted, there was a time and place when I greatly enjoyed swaddling carefully-selected gifts in whimsically-printed paper. I would spend hours ensuring that each box o’ joy was so meticulously enshrined in festive wrapping that angels would descend from Heaven and sing praises about the […]

10 Reasons Why Assembling a Fake, Pre-Lit Christmas Tree Will Suck The Life Out Of You

By Brian Lageose on December 25, 2013 • ( Leave a comment )

1. The stupid box it comes in. As soon as you dump the various sections of the tree out of the shiny, new box, you might as well throw the box away. You are never going to get all of the tree back in that box. And as […]

It’s the Crate Bumpkin, Harley Crown – The Final List

By Brian Lageose on December 22, 2013 • ( 1 Comment )

Click Here to read this story from the beginning. Initially, the room was in stunned silence following Buford’s pronouncement that he wished to serve the Lord via a midlife career change, then the chaos descended. “Now you’re my favorite son!” squealed Granny Crown, hurling herself into Buford’s arms […]

It’s the Crate Bumpkin, Harley Crown – Part 3

By Brian Lageose on December 21, 2013 • ( 1 Comment )

Click Here to read this story from the beginning. Momma Crown sighed for the twenty-second time that day as she entered the living room and approached her mother-in-law, who was standing at the picture window in the front of the room. “Tell me, Mother,” she queried, “why is […]

It’s the Crate Bumpkin, Harley Crown – Part 2

By Brian Lageose on December 6, 2013 • ( 2 Comments )

Click Here to read this story from the beginning. Before Momma Crown could counsel her child that it was entirely possible to be popular without being a miniature slut, there was a clatter as Granny Crown traipsed into the kitchen from the living room. “Mother!” exclaimed Momma Crown. […]

It’s the Crate Bumpkin, Harley Crown – Part 1

By Brian Lageose on December 3, 2013 • ( 3 Comments )

  Note: The following is a short series that I created for one of my other blogs a few years ago. The original intent of the series was to show appreciation for some of my ardent blog followers by working their names into the story line. Reading it […]

10 Reasons Why Salad Bars Are Just Like Real Life

By Brian Lageose on November 22, 2013 • ( 3 Comments )

1. Nobody really wants the lettuce. Sure, we’ve been raised as consumers to believe that the foundation of any decent salad is chopped-up leafage of some kind. This is a scam. Do not fall for it. The salad people want you to load up on the greenery so […]

20 Signs That I Was A Complete Geek In High School

By Brian Lageose on November 3, 2013 • ( 2 Comments )

    Picture it. Broken Arrow, Oklahoma. Late 70’s, early 80’s. We didn’t have any money. And GO… 1. The fact that I would go out in public looking like I did in the photo above. 2. A female friend had to pull me aside and discreetly inform […]

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