The Trial of Dara Cowandburger

There was a gasp in the courtroom, followed by silence. All eyes turned toward the judge, curious as to how she might take that last remark. Ima Beansprout sighed, took off her glasses, rubbed her eyes, then turned to the defendant in the witness box, clearly not satisfied […]

Past Imperfect – #199

With the introduction of the Otis Autotronic Elevator on Tulane Street in New Orleans, Bridgette was hired as a spokesperson to allay the fears of the local citizenry that placing your faith in a moving metal box could lead to debauchery and Democratic-voting. Sadly, Bridgette was unable to […]

Past Imperfect – #459

Archaeologist #1: “What the hell is that?” Archaeologist #2: “Well, based on my research notes, this appears to be a rare specimen from the Golden Age of Hollywood.” Archaeologist #1: “What made that age golden?” Archaeologist #2: “I’m assuming it was a time when humans were able to […]

Past Imperfect – #188

Dr. Machismo, addressing his Psychology 101 class: “Students, in this classic snapshot, the photographer has managed to capture the full range of male sexuality. A lovely maiden is simply trying to transport a freshly-picked butternut squash to the Rome apartment of her beloved grandmother, Mary Elizabeth Catherine Marie […]

Past Imperfect – #39

Ernst: “I’m so sorry. Have you been waiting an eternity, my love?” Greta: “What does my face say?” Ernst: “Your beautiful face says that I should remain over here until I ensure that you don’t have a sharp weapon tucked under your napkin.” Greta: “Well, that’s part of […]

Past Imperfect – #109

  The Thompson Triplets, with their intense patriotism and even stronger attraction to men in uniform, never missed a troop train rolling into town. They collectively had a total of 47 children, with a surprising number of them named “Junior”, which caused confusion at church picnics. This population […]