Once upon a time, as a companion piece to my “Backup Dancers From Hell” blog, I had a side project entitled “Typos From Hell”, wherein I would slightly alter the title of a popular song and then come up with a fake promotional bit for that violated title. […]
Buster: “Why are you looking at me like that?” Marceline: “Don’t be simple. Is there something you need to tell me?” Buster: “I can’t imagine what. I share everything with you. You’re my best friend.” Marceline: “Not everything. I found your stash of pornography involving carnal mimes.” Buster: […]
Tea Party Handbook – Manly Edition, Section 42, Clause B: “This is the proper position that your wife should assume when you arrive at home after a long day of doing everything you can to ensure that white, conservative, misogynistic men rule the planet. She is not allowed […]
I tried to wash that man right out of my hair, just like the song says, but I ran into a few complications. One, I couldn’t find the right shampoo at Walgreen’s. (Exactly what ingredient should you look for? Essence of Man-Gone? Botanical Banishment? Pregnancy-Scare Prunes?) Somebody really […]
Delilah was in a woeful state, plagued by many troubling issues. She had recently lost her job due to a misunderstanding about the proper time for alcohol consumption. She had lost her favorite boyfriend because she didn’t realize that she was only supposed to have one. And most […]
Note: This is one from the archives, which explains the datedness of the movie in question, but the rest of the song remains the same and still applies… A mere week ago, I babbled in the previous “Sunday in the Park” that I hadn’t been to an […]
Sadie: “I suppose I could do that. How much are you willing to pay me?” Nigel: “I didn’t say anything about paying you.” Sadie: “Then I didn’t say anything about doing it.” Nigel: “But I have leverage on you, my dear. I know what you did with that […]
Members of the Gamma Alpha Upsilon fraternity attend Mardi Gras, 1938. Left to right… Fedora: “I really tried to get in the spirit of things with my frat brothers, but at the last minute my rigid Southern Baptist upbringing ruined it all. I have a feeling I’m going […]
Man on the Left: “I do believe someone is trying to get your attention.” Woman on the Right: “And I do believe I’m trying to ignore her.” Hair in the Middle: “Darling, you can’t ignore me. I run this place, and it’s my responsibility to make sure that […]
Lady on the Left: “Wow. That’s some really interesting needlepoint you’re doing there.” Lady on the Right: “Why, thank you. I’m making a commemorative swatch of the night I killed my husband.” Left: “How fascinating. May I ask a question?” Right: “Of course. I just admitted to taking […]
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