Past Imperfect – #315

  Reporter, passing by: “Excuse me, gentlemen. Could I have a word with you?” Edward: “We’re a little busy here and this thing is kind of heavy so… no.” James: “Get lost, sister.” Reporter:  “This will only take a few minutes. I couldn’t help but notice that you […]

Past Imperfect – #484

Carole: “Darling, how thoughtful of you. I’ve always wanted my own personal callous remover. You think of everything.” Darling: “Actually, I didn’t think of everything. I forgot to call you downstairs when it was time to open presents. Christmas was two weeks ago.” Carole: “Really? I hadn’t noticed. […]

Past Imperfect – #324

Tour Guide: “And over here, boys and girls, we have the Charles F. Nelson house.” Little Billy: “Who cares.” Little Andy: “My juice box is empty.” Little Sally: “I gotta pee.” Tour Guide: “It’s one of the most famous houses in Olalla, Washington.” Little Billy: “Why? Did somebody […]

Past Imperfect – #469

Bette, left: “What did you just say?” Olivia, right: “I said that I love you as a sister but I can’t fully support you leaving the house looking like that.” Bette: “And why is that?” Olivia: “Well, two reasons. One is that no one wears tropical attire after […]

Past Imperfect – #527

Katharine: “Mirror, mirror, not on the wall, will I get the part in that movie with the hottie named Spencer?” Big Mirror: “Why, certainly. You have impeccable credentials, your acting is superb, and both you and the Spencer hottie need to quell certain rumors about your fluid sexual […]