During the Depression, funding for public playgrounds dried up, so the little urchins had to make do with what they could find. Luckily, at least for Little Sarah Huckabee, this experience proved to be great training. Eventually, she would meet a man named Donald who would show her […]
1. You have to show up for work on time. For some diabolic reason, they always schedule these torture sessions first thing in the morning. There’s absolutely no legitimate reason for this, because no one, I don’t care who you are, functions their best before 10am. At that […]
“The only thing that can possibly explain this scene is the now-empty enormous coffee cup in the lower right…” Suddenly, someone stomped into my home office. I cannot name this person because said person is one of those family members who does not care to be mentioned in […]
Howdy, Clam Bakers. Well, then. Last night’s impromptu shindig proved to be a moderate success, based on how many of you never managed to make it home. (It is simply amazing how many of you awoke this morning looking dewy and supple, despite having slept face-down on a […]
It’s amazing how messing with just a word or two in a title can totally change your marketing demographic… 1. “The Combine Strikes Back” 2. “Lawrence of Alabama” 3. “The Sound of Mooing” 4. “A Streetcar Named Bessie Mae” 5. “From Here to That Tree over […]
Giselle, on the Right: “Whatever are you working on, darling?” Veronique, on the Left: “Oh, I’m just jotting down a few notes for when the police arrive. Don’t mind me.” Giselle: “The police? That seems rather intrusive. Why on earth would they do that?” Veronique: “Well, I did […]
The college professor clicked a button and the photo appeared on the screen behind him. He addressed the class before him. “Today, we will learn about the variability of perception. How surfaces can inadvertently lie, which can then lead to lies maliciously surfacing. Tell me your first impressions. […]
Once upon a time, as a companion piece to my “Backup Dancers From Hell” blog, I had a side project entitled “Typos From Hell”, wherein I would slightly alter the title of a popular song and then come up with a fake promotional bit for that violated title. […]
Note: This is the “Pinterest” version, but the shocking obsessions and degradations essentially apply to all platforms. More to follow. 1. You no longer remember the names of your children. Or if you even have any. 2. The last time you looked at the television, “Friends” was still […]
Howdy, Clam Bakers. Some of you may have already seen the cryptic tweet from the Home Office indicating that, due to circumstances somewhat beyond our control, the main campfire at Bonnywood Manor has been temporarily shuttered until the local Hazmat Team can attend to the situation. I can’t […]
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