Fred had no idea if Barbara was telling the truth about that thing he was supposed to be investigating, but he was fairly certain that if she uncrossed her legs at this moment it would be quite obvious that she had little concern for undergarment propriety. Barbara: “I […]
Lady on the Left: “Girl, what’s up with that humongous thing on your head and the Bible nestled in your safety-dance zone? I was pretty proud of my Napoleon-tribute hat-wear until you came along.” Lady on the Right: “If you must know, I’m just trying to be closer […]
1. “Can you help me understand why that pair of underwear has been in the same spot for two weeks now? Is it a memorial of some kind? Are we not allowed to touch it, like the state flower when it grows by the side of the road?” […]
Millicent had a very serious misunderstanding about the concept of cross-pollination… Originally posted in “Crusty Pie” on 04/27/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 04/12/16. No changes made. As some of you may have noticed, I’ve been a bit AWOL, partly because I’m on a vision quest to reevaluate […]
Out of desperation, Marie-Claudette tried sending 500 volts of electricity into her roommates to see if it would make them less boring and infantile. It did not. Originally posted in “Crusty Pie” on 06/13/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 04/18/16. No changes made. (Personal side-note to Claudette Maree, […]
1. Salt on lettuce makes my tongue swell. Not making this up. And it’s just salt and lettuce. If I’m having a salad with other ingredients, or lettuce on a burger, or any situation where there’s additional players on the food team, it’s all good, nothing happens. And […]
Nancy: “Why are you banging on my door?” Banging Man: “Have you accepted Jesus into your heart?” Nancy: “Does it look like I would be friends with him on Facebook?” Banging Man: “We can all be redeemed as long as we have faith. And some disposable income for […]
When Melba returned from the kitchen, she knew instantly that her guests had already sampled the rum cake… Originally posted in “Crusty Pie” on 07/02/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 04/21/16. No changes made. Trivia: When I pulled this up in Google’s photo search, normally a reliable research […]
Eleanor Roosevelt: “How sweet of you girls to cook this meal for me in a completely unplanned photo op.” Girl Scout #1: “My outfit makes me look Amish and I’m not really happy about that. And there’s the added pressure that I might accidentally spill this pot of […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Remain Confused about the Socks-with-Sandals issue, “Thank you for joining us on yet another night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. As we welcome another entry in the 3-Word Challenge, I feel the need to- Suddenly, two burly men […]
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