Cherub on the Left: “What the hell is she doing?” Cherub on the Right: “By the looks of it, orgasming.” Left: “From just a spritz? We should all be so lucky. I wonder what’s in the bottle?” Right: “Whatever it is, I’m sure it doesn’t smell like her […]
Fred, left: “I’m sorry to intrude, but I just found these undergarments in the hallway, and I thought I might inquire as to whether or not you might wish to claim ownership.” Melvyn, center: “Good God, man. Why so many words? Couldn’t you have just asked ‘are these […]
Hyacinth Macaw, prosecuting attorney and generally unpleasant person, stood up at her document-laden table and made an announcement: “I’m ready to cross-examine the witness on the stand.” Judge Pearline Soufflé did not stand up at her hand-carved bench, one that was not laden with anything because she was […]
Carole was a bit troubled. That last things she could firmly recall in the fevered menagerie of her mind was that she had spent a quiet evening at home, enjoying a bit of stir-fry based on a recipe a neighbor had handed her during one of those awkward […]
Note: This is an older piece concerning an experiment I once conducted here at Bonnywood. The project eventually lost its funding due to partisan budget cuts, but it was a good time while it lasted. Helpful narrator: Please read the following as if you are lying in […]
Janet, wife, captured in radiant afterglow: “Why on earth would you say such a thing?” Humberto, current but tentative husband, not captured because he was in the throes of a Bad Hair Day, that wretched beast: “I say such a thing because your glow speaks of life-changing sexual […]
Note: This is one of my rare blog posts that is not so much with the funny, much more so with the heart. Please keep reading, even if that concept makes you a bit squirmy and uncomfortable… Dear Diary, It’s been 10 days since my last “Sunday […]
Note: This is a re-post from a few years ago, so you can ignore the bit about it being my birthday. No need to buy me a gift. Unless you didn’t get me anything back then and I’m still waiting on it… For my last birthday, I […]
Betty was a bit concerned. She could hear the folks outside her dressing room, babbling about the thing that someone had done to the actress in the other dressing room. Betty was fully aware of the thing, because she had done it. But she thought she had done […]
1. She used your middle name when screaming from another room that you needed to report to her immediately. 2. Dead silence on her end of the line when you called her at work for the twenty-seventh time in one afternoon. 3. Proclaiming at dinner that you don’t […]
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