Past Imperfect – #396

Carole first realized that perhaps she had gotten off at the wrong subway stop when that whiny little girl from The Exorcist began waving about an inverted crucifix. She braced herself accordingly. Whiny Girl: “You dare to enter my lair? I will evictorate you!” Carole: “Oh my God! […]

Past Imperfect – #465

These were considered appropriate Halloween costumes in the early 1900s. How can you sleep peacefully after seeing this? No wonder Sigmund Freud was in his heyday during this time. (Sometimes a cigar is just a woman exploding out of a giant mushroom whilst a forefather of Duck Dynasty […]

Past Imperfect – #289

Mop-Etta: “Do you really love me?” Gene: “With all of my heart, because that’s what the lyrics in this song say.” Mop-Etta: “But you understand that we can never have children because, well, I don’t have any lower organs.” Gene: “It doesn’t matter, my floor-cleansing beauty. We can […]

Past Imperfect – #476

Mary, left: “Why on earth are you banging on my door at such a socially-unacceptable hour?” Bette, right: “Don’t play coy with me. I’ve known for months that my husband has been cheating on me. I just didn’t know where or who, so I hired a detective and […]

Intermission #3: Momentary Lapses

The doorbell rings. Terry opens the door to find Little Tiffy standing there. “Can Brian come out to play?” “No.” “Why not?” “Because he’s busy.” “Doing what?” “I don’t know. Some kind of writing project thing.” “What’s that?” “A writing project. Where he writes. What grade are you […]

Past Imperfect – #144

Sadie is very, very happy. Sadie is also very, very drunk. Behind her, Baby Sadie (so named because Momma Sadie had focus issues when it came time to fill out that birth certificate) is just realizing that she will once again have to find a nice gentleman to […]