Past Imperfect – #75

In a surprise move, the Topeka School Board voted to allow girls to take Automotive Repair courses at the high school. Of course, this startling attempt at social progress in a red state came with a few restrictions. The girls had to perform all class exercises whilst wearing […]

Past Imperfect – #162

Jean-Claude: “Why are you making such a big deal about getting out of bed?” Bernadette: “Because this is a French film. I must ponder all philosophical implications before taking any action. Right now, I am thinking of the underpaid workers who built this hotel. The suffering, the torment, […]

Idiot Fondue: Case Study – #13

Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Enjoy.   Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena […]

Past Imperfect – #425

Director John: “And over here, Liz will make her entrance in some crap designed by Valentino.” Actor Marlon: “That explains all the lights. But why the big production?” John: “Because it’s Elizabeth Taylor. She never just walks into a room. It’s always an event. You know this.” Marlon: […]

Past Imperfect – #418

Awards Show Producer, rushing on stage and out of breath: “Ladies, we’re having a bit of difficulty with the sound, mainly because the last actress on the stage was rather enamored by the shape of the microphone and she took it home as her, um, date for the […]

Past Imperfect – #415

In a rare moment of reflection, one that may or may not have been carefully devised by publicists, director Alfred Hitchcock and star Anthony Perkins discuss their current project, a lovely dissertation on misplaced values known as “Psycho”… Alfred: “So, Tony, how do you think the shoot is […]