Another music video review… We zoom in on a residential building, and we are treated to glimpses of several women in their apartments, each of them in various states of undress as well as emotion. (Most of these ladies don’t seem to be very happy, so there probably […]
1. You become aroused simply walking through the produce section of the supermarket. (Stay away from the cucumbers and the carrots. And you might want to avoid the gourds as well, because some of those raised bumps can look very interesting.) 2. You seem to be having too […]
Some Woman That Is Not Lucy: “And here’s a bit of coffee that can work better than Viagra if you would just let go of your psychological speed bumps.” Desi: “Who the hell are you?” Not Lucy: “I come from the future. But don’t think about it too […]
Heidi, apparently just back from Rehab: “Grandpa, I missed you so.” Grandpa, apparently in need of such: “And I missed you, too, little… um… I’m sorry. I can’t recall your name. Our family breeds like rabbits on moonshine and there are 47 girls running about who look just […]
Note: This is another patient file from my “Idiot Fondue” blog, wherein I posed as a pompous therapist of little relevance (except in his own mind), responding to whimsical questions submitted by actual followers. Enjoy. Dear Dr. Brian, I know you are very busy and are […]
Much to her dismay, Irene’s powerful interpretive dance about the mating habits of the Balinese Freckled Stork failed to impress her fellow passengers, and she was shunned later that evening in the First Class Dining Room. Undeterred, because she had been bred with premium-stock Connecticut money, she marched […]
As I peck this out, we are teetering on the precipice of the transition to (or is it from?) Daylight Savings Time. In just a few short hours, at 2am, folks in most parts of America will find their lives rudely shoved forward one hour. To be fair, […]
Note: This is one from the archives. It’s a bit long, and things have changed, but there is an eventual payout. Enjoy. It all started rather innocently. My partner, Terry, turned to me and uttered these deceptively benign words: “Johhna and Patty are going to Pecan Lodge […]
Greta was feeling a bit blue, as she hadn’t seen her lover in days and she was beginning to suspect that their torrid relationship had run its course. If so, then Ramon’s sudden disinterest had come at a rather inopportune time, as he had been handling both her […]
Note: I’m a little bit cranky in this ancient bit of venting, as evidenced by the title. Brace yourselves accordingly… 1. Idiots don’t know what snow is. Stunning as it may seem, there are folks out there who are completely mystified by the white stuff falling from the […]
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