Dear God, Hi! I just have a few questions that I hope you can answer. I know you’re really busy lately, what with the Far Right losing its collective mind and all those Toyota recalls, but I’m a little concerned. It seems that every month or so we […]
In a surprise move, the Topeka School Board voted to allow girls to take Automotive Repair courses at the high school. Of course, this startling attempt at social progress in a red state came with a few restrictions. The girls had to perform all class exercises whilst wearing […]
The Driving Instructor knew he was in for a challenge when Ernestine appeared in his classroom that fateful day…
Dearest Neighbor, How are you this fine morning? I trust that you realize it is morning. Quite early in the morning, as a matter of fact. Were you aware of this? Perhaps not. Maybe you’re one of those people who leap out of bed without any concept of […]
Note: Let’s do a cross-over episode, shall we? Lanae the receptionist hung up the phone and turned to look at the lone woman sitting in the waiting room. “Granny Mae, the doctor is ready and you can go on back now.” Granny Mae turned to look at the […]
Jean-Claude: “Why are you making such a big deal about getting out of bed?” Bernadette: “Because this is a French film. I must ponder all philosophical implications before taking any action. Right now, I am thinking of the underpaid workers who built this hotel. The suffering, the torment, […]
Background Note: This is a post from one of my long-abandoned sites wherein I assumed the persona of a pompous therapist and answered “real” questions submitted by the readers. Enjoy. Dear Dr. Brian, Why do people try to put round pegs in square holes? submitted by Serena […]
Director John: “And over here, Liz will make her entrance in some crap designed by Valentino.” Actor Marlon: “That explains all the lights. But why the big production?” John: “Because it’s Elizabeth Taylor. She never just walks into a room. It’s always an event. You know this.” Marlon: […]
Awards Show Producer, rushing on stage and out of breath: “Ladies, we’re having a bit of difficulty with the sound, mainly because the last actress on the stage was rather enamored by the shape of the microphone and she took it home as her, um, date for the […]
In a rare moment of reflection, one that may or may not have been carefully devised by publicists, director Alfred Hitchcock and star Anthony Perkins discuss their current project, a lovely dissertation on misplaced values known as “Psycho”… Alfred: “So, Tony, how do you think the shoot is […]
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