The 12 Shots of Christmas

  Editor’s Note: This is a refurbished older post, a cautionary tale of what can happen when you mix the gift-exchange process with excessive amounts of alcohol. The references are a wee bit dated, but the underlying moral is the same: Don’t drink and unwrap. Unless everybody else […]

Past Imperfect – #224

Left to right… Mortified Maureen: “I cannot believe that you made me pee in the men’s bathroom. It was insulting and degrading and I’m never coming back here. And stop walking so fast! Just because you have legs longer than the Empire State Building doesn’t mean the rest […]

Past Imperfect – #412

It was at this precise moment when Colleen suddenly realized why her doctor had advised her to stay away from dairy. Sadly, this was the same moment when her moderately-trusted butler, Heineken, strutted self-importantly into the Two Moon Dining Room and attempted to make (in his own mind) […]

Past Imperfect – #477

Anne, far left: “Well, what do we have here? It appears that George has arrived, dubiously escorting some young strumpet with stars in her eyes. How gauche.” Bette, near left: “Oh, come now, Anne. If memory serves, you were the strumpet in question a mere two days ago, […]

Past Imperfect – #411

As the evening waned, Melanie did have a few regrets. Perhaps she shouldn’t have chosen to wear ballet slippers with an outfit that strongly hinted of working on the serving line at Furr’s Cafeteria. She had initially found this ensemble to be saucily enticing, with its erotic subliminal […]

Past Imperfect – #326

Mae: “What do you mean you don’t know what to do?” Buck: “Your foot is stuck in the drain. Why did you call me? I sell ice cream. Did you get hungry while you were waiting for someone else to get here who can actually help you?” Mae: […]