Past Imperfect – #571

Director: “Has anybody seen Marlon? I need him on the set.” Bitter Scriptwriter: “Why does he have to be here? My words are superb. Anybody could do this scene, assuming that they can read.” Not-bitter Production Assistant who still believed that she could bed The Brando given the […]

Past Imperfect – #366

The narrator intones in a soothing baritone, a velvet-gravel mix enhanced by aged whiskey and pungent cigars, neither of which he has ever mentioned to his physician, lest his insurance premiums go up… “Once upon a time, before the invention of video games and the Internet and Fox […]

Past Imperfect – #145

Jane: “I feel compelled to report an issue with my accommodations.” Hairaldo: “You look like you are compelled about a lot of things. And why is your dress stapled to your bosom?” Jane: “That’s not important. I didn’t sleep well at all last night.” Hairaldo: “Did you remember […]