Past Imperfect – #559

Fred, left: “I’m sorry to intrude, but I just found these undergarments in the hallway, and I thought I might inquire as to whether or not you might wish to claim ownership.” Melvyn, center: “Good God, man. Why so many words? Couldn’t you have just asked ‘are these […]

Past Imperfect – #253

Left to right… Drunk Lady #1: “This pizza is so good. If the man who invented pizza walked by right now I’d bang him right here on these steps. And then take a nap.” Drunk Lady #2: “I keep missing my mouth. Why is this so hard? Hey, […]

Idiot Fondue – Case Study #11

Note: Another dusty excerpt from the files of the dubious psychologist, Dr. Brian, who used to have his own blog on the outer fringes of Bonnywood Manor, wherein he would answer emails from his clients. His bedside manner needs a bit of work, but it was fun messing […]

Past Imperfect – #551

Carole was a bit troubled. That last things she could firmly recall in the fevered menagerie of her mind was that she had spent a quiet evening at home, enjoying a bit of stir-fry based on a recipe a neighbor had handed her during one of those awkward […]

Past Imperfect – #112

In this snapshot from 1920, patrons at Whitey’s Pub and Bordello react to the news that women were just given the right to vote with the 19th Amendment. (Notice that there are only two people smiling: the bar-back on the far right, who apparently later gave birth to […]

Present Tense – #8

There are monkeys on top of the Rock of Gibraltar. Did you know this? I certainly didn’t. Well, that’s not entirely fair to say. One of our travelling companions, a lovely lass that I’ll call “Twyla” for now, because I haven’t mentioned to her that I might ensnare […]

Past Imperfect – #307

Let’s eavesdrop on the wedding participants’ thoughts, shall we? Left to right. Conrad “Nicky” Hilton: “I am so glad that Elizabeth Taylor agreed to marry me. I’m sure her decision had nothing to do with my family being so wealthy that we can buy elections and entire countries.” […]