Personal confession: Although I am a true acolyte of the Church of Exfoliation, I’m not one to spend extraordinary amounts of money on the latest-trend mechanized implements that dubiously guarantee to whisk away unnecessary but truculent skin cells. (I’m retired, after all, which means my spending mantra has […]
There are monkeys on top of the Rock of Gibraltar. Did you know this? I certainly didn’t. Well, that’s not entirely fair to say. One of our travelling companions, a lovely lass that I’ll call “Twyla” for now, because I haven’t mentioned to her that I might ensnare […]
As a child, there was a stretch when I had an infatuation with fortune cookies. I was old enough to read, but young enough to readily believe in the lies that society will tell you. We didn’t go to Chinese restaurants all that often, as some of the […]
And so it was As I pondered tonight What should I post What should I write Many folks are busy With kith and with kin Anything I scribble Will hit the dust bin Unseen and forlorn Lost in the fray Of folks celebrating The spirit […]
Dearest Ilene, I know you’ve been a bit busy, what with your challenging journey, so you may not have had time to notice the little hints I’ve been sprinkling among my posts for the last few weeks. Earlier this year you asked me if I could, and I […]
Off-camera person that we cannot see because this shot was poorly planned: “Excuse me. Do you have time for a few questions?” Brian, center: “That depends. Who are you and why are you holding a microphone?” Person: “My name is Humadora von Swizzlestick. But you can call me […]
1. It will destroy your soul. Granted, there was a time and place when I greatly enjoyed swaddling carefully-selected gifts in whimsically-printed paper. I would spend hours ensuring that each box o’ joy was so meticulously enshrined in festive wrapping that angels would descend from Heaven and sing […]
1. The Surly Temple This drink was originally created to placate people who confused their uptight religious upbringing (no demon alcohol!) with their natural social inclination to have a good time with their less salvation-based friends. Sadly, because the Surly Temple has no actual alcohol and did nothing […]
Note: Herewith, we have another collaboration, this time with George at Trefology. I made the initial serve, George professionally lobbed back, and several matches later the court referee deemed our gameplay irresponsible and sent us to the penalty box to think about what we had done. Enjoy. […]
We’ve all been there. You’re in a public place. Or semi-public. It doesn’t really matter. The point is that there are people around and you cannot do certain things. You should not be digging for Waldo in your honker. Touching your genitals, even if it’s a simple readjustment […]
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