Past Imperfect – #277

Jimmy: “I’m sorry, what did you just ask?” Maggie: “Where is your Husband Department?” Jimmy: “Are you trying to find the Men’s clothing section?” Maggie: “No, Husband. I need a new one.” Jimmy: “May I inquire as to what’s wrong with the old one?” Maggie: “He’s just not […]

Past Imperfect – #271

Nadine: “Why are you handing this to me?” Postman Pete: “It’s addressed ‘To the Lady of the House’.” Nadine: “You’re assuming that this is my house. And that I’m a lady.” Pete: “You did sort of walk out the door just now.” Nadine: “That doesn’t prove anything. I […]

Past Imperfect – #103

It had never crossed Muriel’s mind that this selfie might attract unwarranted attention. But as she gazed lovingly at herself in the hand-crafted mirror, she noticed Mrs. Claus rushing up behind her, bellowing something about Santa delivering presents where he shouldn’t, as evidenced by the familiar North Pole […]

Past Imperfect – #497

Judy: “I’m so excited that we’re finally at our senior prom!” Mickey: “Me too! There are so many pretty girls here I could spit.” Judy: “Wait. What does that mean? I’m your date, and you shouldn’t be noticing any pretty girls except me.” Mickey: “Oh. Didn’t I tell […]