Another batch of excerpts from “Duck Sauce”, a novel I scribbled thirty years ago and recently rediscovered… The methodology: Search for signs of intelligent life in the yellowed pages and share them, unedited, as mini-mirrors of my writing at that time. (Trust, I’ve had to gnaw at my […]
Hey, Folks. Some of you who have listened to me babble for years now are aware that I lost most of my early writings through a series of incidents (some accidental, one, in particular, extremely vindictive). This loss haunts me from time to time, even though I realize […]
Note: This is a companion piece to yesterday’s post, which you can peruse here. Some of you will be at least mildly pleased to see that the suggestions you made on the previous post have magically appeared in this installment, even though this was actually written many years […]
1. “Well, sugar my foot!” Translation: “I am thoroughly astonished that what you just said is actually true. Even if it’s really not.” This is a response often heard during whispered gossip sessions at the local Baptist church. 2. “That thing just flopped back yonder.” Translation: “The item […]
To lighten the mood after the melancholy aspect of the last post, I dragged this snarky mess out of the archives, a movie review from roughly three years ago. Enjoy. We start off with an opening shot of a lovely two-story home, and in one of the upper […]
Heidi, apparently just back from Rehab: “Grandpa, I missed you so.” Grandpa, apparently in need of such: “And I missed you, too, little… um… I’m sorry. I can’t recall your name. Our family breeds like rabbits on moonshine and there are 47 girls running about who look just […]
Cary: “Why are you walking in the door like that? Jean: “Let’s just say there was an incident and things didn’t work out well for me.” Cary: “But you look like you’re in pain? What happened?” Jean: “Well, apparently I made the mistake of trying to wear high […]
Karen, left: “Doesn’t this make you feel pretty and special?” Archie, right: “Those aren’t quite the two words I would use. Can you explain to me again why we’re wearing these things on our faces?” Karen: “Silly, I already told you. Noses are no longer fashionable.” Archie: “How […]
Photographer: “Excuse me, Miss Dunaway. What exactly are you and your leg doing?” Faye: “I’m photographing you photographing me. It’s all the rage in the art scene after Antonioni started doing it when he directed Blow-Up. And artsy people really enjoy doing obscure things based on obscure Italian […]
Note: The following is an ancient post that I drag out every few years. It’s been modified considerably over time, but the melody remains the same… Before I get to the full-frontal exposition (and it’s not what you think, which will relieve most of you but will […]
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