Note: This list is actually from two years ago, but the song remains the same, for the most part… 1. Car manufacturers will finally develop a special button for your dashboard which, when pushed, will cause the car in front of you at the drive-thru ATM, wherein the […]
As a child, there was a stretch when I had an infatuation with fortune cookies. I was old enough to read, but young enough to readily believe in the lies that society will tell you. We didn’t go to Chinese restaurants all that often, as some of the […]
Greta: “I’m so excited that we’re getting our picture taken!” Hans: “Oh, please. I’m a year older than you, and let me assure you that this will get tiresome really fast.” Greta: “You’re such a pessimist, Hans. You’re just mad because you’re wearing obscenely ridiculous shorts.” Hans: “Like […]
Douglass: “Mae, my sugar bunny, whatever is troubling you so? Mae: “Oh, Douglass, the agony is so intense that I can barely speak!” Douglass: “Now, now. Stop writhing like a Pentecostal. Tell me what has happened. Are you hurt? Is there some blood loss that I need to […]
Hi. The lovely folks who carefully monitor my “Park” posts (all three of you) are most likely expecting a continuation of the last “Park”, wherein I shared bittersweet bits from my childhood. This is an honest expectation, as I ended that post with a “more to come!” teaser […]
Cleo the Cat: “Who the hell is Elvis?” Scotch the Cat: “I don’t know. Wait, maybe I do. He’s the one who sings about a Boo Boo Christmas. I always have a boo boo Christmas. I make boo boos every day and then wait for the Magic Scoop […]
And so it was As I pondered tonight What should I post What should I write Many folks are busy With kith and with kin Anything I scribble Will hit the dust bin Unseen and forlorn Lost in the fray Of folks celebrating The spirit of […]
Yes, I realize that I just did a “Golden Girls” post not that long ago, and this one ends somewhat the same way. But this is an older piece, more stylized than the previous one, and for me it feels like an episode in the series, albeit an […]
Note: Another twisted chestnut from my archival stocking, thus explaining a few of the dated references… 1. Slim Jims from the corner convenience store. [Take cheap plastic meat out of cheap plastic packaging prior to arrival. Wrap meat in the ugly silk scarf that Cousin Edna tossed your […]
Off-camera person that we cannot see because this shot was poorly planned: “Excuse me. Do you have time for a few questions?” Brian, center: “That depends. Who are you and why are you holding a microphone?” Person: “My name is Humadora von Swizzlestick. But you can call me […]
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