Past Imperfect – #230

Nancy: “Would it be rude of me to mention that something about your staging of this scene is a bit off?” Director: “What? Do you not have enough spotlights on you?” Nancy: “Why do you want me to sit like this and gaze longingly at my own face? […]

Past Imperfect – #227

In an odd moment of happenstance during this shoot, the photographer not only captured Marlene in all her finger-nailed glory, he also managed to invent the tanning bed that soon invaded strip-malls worldwide…  Note: This is Exhibit #13 in Bonnywood’s March Madness. Details found here.

Past Imperfect – #236

The cast of the 1949 version of The Great Gatsby is quite pleased with themselves, mainly because they consulted a psychic who assured them that their version will prove far more pleasing than the 1974 version (Robert Redford and Mia Farrow, making questionable career choices) and the 2013 […]

Past Imperfect – #531

Life is often confusing, but one thing is abundantly clear: In order to win the Miss America contest in 1935, contestants did whatever it took to get the rural vote…  Note: This is Exhibit #11 in Bonnywood’s March Madness. Details found here. And yes, this is a publicity […]

Past Imperfect – #543

At the very last moment, the Sharks hired Marlon Soprano, a freelance dancer who didn’t care which team he played for as long as he got to perform his signature move, a double backflip ending in a manly split dripping with testosterone but no actual damage to the […]

Past Imperfect – #576

Prosecuting Attorney: “If it pleases the court, I’d like to present this photo as exhibit A.” Judge Crotchbump: “It doesn’t matter if it pleases me or not. You’re an attorney. You present things, I make a ruling about the quality of your presentation based on the 700 years […]

Past Imperfect – #540

This is what therapists call “the money shot”, when the narcissism becomes so overwhelming that dinner is delayed whilst Vida Loca tap-dances where the Boeuf Bourguignon should be. Said therapists then race to clear their appointment schedules, because Vida will soon be knocking on one of their doors, […]

Past Imperfect – #356

Photographer: “Okay, do you think this is a convincing publicity shot of Troy wooing the ladies?” Agent: “I think it’s convincing me that Troy is terrified of ancient Pompeiian women who somehow survived the eruption of Mount Vesuvius and now they’re feeling a bit lusty after all those […]

Past Imperfect – #312

Because nothing says “I’m a man’s man” like posing next to your ludicrous gun collection in the family rec room whilst wearing shiny disco boots and a sweater with dancing reindeer…  Note: This is Exhibit #6 in Bonnywood’s March Madness. Details found here.

Past Imperfect – #328

Marceline, left: “Alice, dear, could you possibly manage to look a trifle less bored?” Alice, right: “Are you kidding? We’re dressed up like cats. What is this accomplishing?” Marceline: “It’s keeping us in the spotlight. As every good starlet knows, there are things you simply must do to […]