Bette Davis, left: “Olivia, girlfriend, hold up a minute…” Olivia de Havilland, right: “God, this fried rice is so good. This is better than winning an Oscar.” Bette: “You’ve got my hair caught in your chopsticks.” Olivia: “You still have hair? I assumed that was a wig.” Bette: […]
Another one from the archives, slightly dated, still relevant… Once again, I have failed to produce another Park installment in a timely manner. The Grand Scheme of Things involves letting these posts fly on Sundays. It is now Tuesday evening, late, practically Wednesday, and I am just […]
Peter, left: “Dr. Greenstreet, my wife and I are quite grateful that you were able to come on such short notice. We called you in because the whole town knows you are a specialist at analyzing odd objects that have not been properly framed by the cinematographer. What […]
Note: This is an older bit of “performance art”, so the references to my blogs are a bit dated. Please excuse. In one of those moments when you forget all about something until you run across it again, I recently found this work-in-progress video blog from several […]
It’s amazing how messing with just a word or two in a title can totally change your marketing demographic… 1. “The Combine Strikes Back” 2. “Lawrence of Alabama” 3. “The Sound of Mooing” 4. “A Streetcar Named Bessie Mae” 5. “From Here to That Tree over Yonder” […]
Ramon: “Hello, my name is Ramon. I am posing in the sexual way on this railing of boat so you will want to see all of my movies and tell others of them.” Photographer: “What the hell? You don’t need to talk. We’re just doing publicity shots here.” […]
Director: “It’s really not necessary for you to lift your arms like that in this scene.” Lupe: “You don’t understand. I can’t help it. They’ve put so much mascara on me that every time I blink my eyes the shock waves bouncing back from the floor are creating […]
Man with Stupid Hat: “Look, you need to give me the information or I will be forced to do unsavory things with this bullwhip.” Pola: “I have already told you that I will never reveal the secrets that I’m pretending that I don’t have. I am prepared to […]
Granny Mae, walking down the street: “Hey, girl. Watcha doin’ sittin’ on this bench outside Bonnywood Manor?” Stargazer Lily, perched on said bench, a rather clever one designed by Frank Lloyd Wright during his salad days before he made all that money: “Oh, hey, Granny. I was just […]
Mary Pickford, left: “What do you mean this doesn’t look realistic?” Douglas Fairbanks, right: “We’re supposed to be looking like the typical American family so the people in Kansas will identify with us and go see our movies. How does any of this say any of that?” Mary: […]
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