Past Imperfect – #54

Santa smiled at the sight of the little tykes having fallen asleep whilst awaiting his arrival. Then he noticed the Prissy Polly doll positioned precisely below the midpoint of the window ledge, a possible sign of cult activity, according to a brochure he had read whilst flying over […]

Past Imperfect – #203

It soon became clear that the eggnog had been spiked a bit more forcefully than anyone intended. By the end of the night, three people had filed for divorce, two people were in therapy, and one person had written a play entitled “You Can’t Go Home Again and […]

Past Imperfect – #290

Butler: “Madame, will you be requiring any more of my services this evening?” Greta: “Really, Mauritz? Does it look like I’m satisfied with how this night has been going?” Butler/Mauritz: “Well, you do seem a bit ‘Jerry Springer’. How may I assist?” Greta: “Let’s start with this unlit […]

Past Imperfect – #289

Mop-Etta: “Do you really love me?” Gene: “With all of my heart, because that’s what the lyrics in this song say.” Mop-Etta: “But you understand that we can never have children because, well, I don’t have any lower organs.” Gene: “It doesn’t matter, my floor-cleansing beauty. We can […]