Present Tense – #1

It’s pouring down rain in New Orleans like somebody needs to build an ark, pronto. Bourbon Street is deserted. We’re trapped in a gay bar, with a wild mix of people from across the country, and everybody is coming together to make sure the smiles keep happening. Life […]

Past Imperfect – #329

Kent: “My darling, you seem troubled.” Mae: “Well, I suppose there’s something I should tell you, but I don’t think you’ll like it.” Kent: “You know I love you eternally. There’s nothing you can say that will make me unhappy.” Mae: “It’s just that… well, you were away […]

Past Imperfect – #145

Jane: “I feel compelled to report an issue with my accommodations.” Hairaldo: “You look like you are compelled about a lot of things. And why is your dress stapled to your bosom?” Jane: “That’s not important. I didn’t sleep well at all last night.” Hairaldo: “Did you remember […]

Past Imperfect – #25

The members of the Alpha Delta Uvula sorority swore eternal devotion, promising to always support one another and never do anything two-faced or unkind.  Then an available bachelor wandered onto their patio and they were sisters no more…  

Past Imperfect – #99

As the Baptists predicted, allowing slattern women to wear scandalous bathing attire on public beaches quickly led to moral depravity, group addiction, gangsta fashions, and the shocking outrage of people not listening to the Baptists anymore…  

Past Imperfect – #97

In yet another example of municipal ineptitude, the citizens of Little Rock had to endure this spectacle, wherein it became clear that the town council had not properly considered all aspects of the Keystone Pipeline Barrel Delivery System. The hole was not big enough, a phrase rarely heard […]

Past Imperfect – #68

This fashion accessory was all the rage in the upper ranks of Parisian Society, and everyone who was anyone just had to have one or they would be shunned forever. Fifteen minutes later, someone pointed out that you couldn’t drink wine whilst wearing such a thing. The Beaky […]