Past Imperfect – #290

Butler: “Madame, will you be requiring any more of my services this evening?” Greta: “Really, Mauritz? Does it look like I’m satisfied with how this night has been going?” Butler/Mauritz: “Well, you do seem a bit ‘Jerry Springer’. How may I assist?” Greta: “Let’s start with this unlit […]

Past Imperfect – #289

Mop-Etta: “Do you really love me?” Gene: “With all of my heart, because that’s what the lyrics in this song say.” Mop-Etta: “But you understand that we can never have children because, well, I don’t have any lower organs.” Gene: “It doesn’t matter, my floor-cleansing beauty. We can […]

Past Imperfect – #288

Greta: “Oh, Robert, you must hold me now.” Robert: “Of course, my darling. Whatever is the matter? You look a bit tepid despite the wonderful lighting.” Greta: “It’s so awful. I don’t know where to begin.” Robert: “Are you speaking of those horrid tassels on the left side […]

Past Imperfect – #285

Edmund: “Here we go, love. Smile for the cameraman.” Millie: “I’m so excited to be going on our honeymoon!” Edmund: “Me as well. We finally get to consummate our relationship, my poodle.” Millie: “Well, about that. It won’t be happening.” Edmund: “But we’ve just gotten married, precious. We […]