Past Imperfect – #321

Judy: “Do you see what’s going on over there?” Gene: “Do you mean the people who are staring at us for wearing ridiculous outfits?” Judy: “No, not them. Wait, why do you think our outfits are ridiculous? These are custom made.” Gene: “I have dice for nipples. And […]

Past Imperfect – #294

Bette: “Olivia, girlfriend, hold up a minute…” Olivia: “God, this fried rice is so good. This is better than winning an Oscar.” Bette: “You’ve got my hair caught in your chopsticks.” Olivia: “You still have hair? I assumed that was a wig.” Bette: “Don’t sass me, young lady. […]

Past Imperfect – #134

She changed her name from Lucille LeSueur (rather pleasant sounding, one would think, even if it does make some folks think of canned peas) to Joan Crawford (which is not pleasant at all, hinting of a matronly official who is not pleased about anything). Then she posed for […]

Past Imperfect – #359

Gunnar: “Okay, help me understand why you’re acting this way.” Eva: “You couldn’t possibly grasp my needs. You’re a man, I’m a woman. Different worlds.” Gunnar: “Really? So my ownership of a penis precludes me from any value in this relationship?” Eva: “Essentially. You willfully choose not to […]

Past Imperfect – #352

The esteemed mountain climber, Javier von Bigthrust, was working his way toward the summit of Mount Sapphia when he rounded a tree and encountered this scene. His first instinct, as he gazed upon such a mystifying display of estrogen-based revelry, was that he should run back down the […]