Ellen DeGeneres walked into the room and cleared her throat. “I’m very annoyed with you, buster.” I quietly slid aside my Kindle, upon which I had been perusing one of those tawdry erotic novels that you hide in the Amazon cloud upon finishing, lest the wrong people review […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Would Much Rather Be Anywhere Else but They’ve Already Paid for Their Tickets and They Might as Well Get Some Free Shrimp Dip Out of It, “Thank you for joining us on yet another night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Have Actually Read All the Posts in This Series or It Might Not Make Any Sense, “Thank you for joining us on this… actually, I’m no longer sure what night this is at Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. It […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Smack Their Gum as If It’s the Only Thing Keeping Them Alive, “Thank you for joining us on this sixth night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. Before we introduce our next 3-Word Challenge participant, I’d like to remind […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People That Procreate Without Understanding What That Really Means, Thank you for joining us on this fifth night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. Since this opening monologue is starting to get a bit repetitive and mundane, I thought I’d spice […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People That I May or May Not Have Slept with But No Longer Recall If I Did So, “Thank you for joining us on this fourth night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. I’m sure you’re just as excited as I […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and Those People Who Are Not as Funny as They Think They Are When Drinking, Thank you for joining us on this third night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. Before we get started with this evening’s presentation, I feel compelled to […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Don’t Know Anything about Art Yet Insist on Showing Up, Thank you for joining us on this second night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. It’s been a hoot of a day, hasn’t it? That Salvador Dali Sack Race […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Just Show Up for the Free Booze, Thank you for joining us here at Bonnywood for our Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. To kick off this evening’s events, we’ll be reviewing the first submission in our esteemed 3-Word Challenge, an […]
Bonnywood Manor 
Recent Comments