1. You wake up in the morning and you aren’t really sure who you are. You crack the seal on one eye and look around. Something seems to have disturbed your slumber, but it’s not really clear. After perusing a few questionable things around you (Did I really […]
And so it finally came to pass that the little hamlet must be demolished in the name of Progress. Before anyone rises up in a spasm of indignation at the outrageous abuse of Eminent Domain, I should point out that I am speaking of the Christmas Village which, […]
Note: Some of these are a bit dated now, but here at Bonnywood we embrace our decay… 1. Lady Gaga – “Shorn This Way” 2. Fun – “We Are Egg Foo Yung” 3. Roberta Flack – “Killing Me Softly with His Thong” 4. Gotye – “Somebody That […]
Personal confession: Although I am a true acolyte of the Church of Exfoliation, I’m not one to spend extraordinary amounts of money on the latest-trend mechanized implements that dubiously guarantee to whisk away unnecessary but truculent skin cells. (I’m retired, after all, which means my spending mantra has […]
We’ve all been there. You’re in a public place. Or semi-public. It doesn’t really matter. The point is that there are people around and you cannot do certain things. You should not be digging for Waldo in your honker. Touching your genitals, even if it’s a simple readjustment […]
1. The name game. You’re standing there with people you have known all your life, talking about other people you have known all your life, and suddenly you can’t remember the name of your cousin that you have known all your life. It just won’t come to you. […]
As I peck this out, we are teetering on the precipice of the transition to (or is it from?) Daylight Savings Time. In just a few short hours, at 2am, folks in most parts of America will find their lives rudely shoved forward one hour. To be fair, […]
Intro: It’s been a while since I did a “Sunday in the Park” (7/24/17, according to my anal-retentive spreadsheets), a project I once relished and then slowly let drift. (Sound familiar?) I really would like to revive this little tradition, so I’m revisiting the very first one as […]
I answered the front door. “Yes?” A man stood there, clipboard in hand and tool belt on waist. “I’m here to fix your water heater.” Hallelujah. I immediately worshipped this man and all he stood for, nearly dropping to my knees and kissing his booted feet for finally […]
1. Surprise naps. You get a phone call from your favorite niece, but instead of running around and jumping excitedly during the conversation like you would when you were fifteen like your niece, you have to find a comfy chair, because talking and walking is just far too […]
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