Prosecuting Attorney: “If it pleases the court, I’d like to present this photo as exhibit A.” Judge Crotchbump: “It doesn’t matter if it pleases me or not. You’re an attorney. You present things, I make a ruling about the quality of your presentation based on the 700 years […]
1. Open the refrigerator door and stare into it. It’s still all the same stuff that was in there the last twenty times you looked, but if you stare hard enough you will notice something that you haven’t seen in a while. You probably won’t want to […]
There are monkeys on top of the Rock of Gibraltar. Did you know this? I certainly didn’t. Well, that’s not entirely fair to say. One of our travelling companions, a lovely lass that I’ll call “Twyla” for now, because I haven’t mentioned to her that I might ensnare […]
Hey, Folks. I just checked the Bonnywood Archives, and it startled me to realize that it’s been nearly a year since I did a full feature on another blogger. Not only is this a shocking dereliction of duty on my part, it underscores something I’ve been pondering during […]
Clarissa, left: “Bernadette, honey, I don’t know if you were right about this hat.” Bernadette, right: “Don’t be silly. It’s terribly fashionable and it makes a statement.” Clarissa: “The statement it’s making is that I can’t see a damn thing. I’m just looking in the direction of your […]
Prunella: “Will this car take to me to Broadsplat Station?” Driver: “Well, this is a cab, and I know where that is, so, probably. But you gotta leave the bird.” Prunella: “I don’t get the reference. What bird?” Driver: “The one in your hands. The one that is […]
Much to her eventual surprise, Cleo the Cat has an appointment on Monday that is not going to make her happy. As such, we are already psychologically preparing ourselves for the ordeal. Cleo does not play well with anybody that is not Cleo. I yanked the following out […]
Boris: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down?” Ginger: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is a piñata that we got in Guadalajara when we were watching all […]
Dearest Neighbor, How are you this fine morning? I trust that you realize it is morning. Quite early in the morning, as a matter of fact. Were you aware of this? Perhaps not. Maybe you’re one of those people who leap out of bed without any concept of […]
It had never crossed Muriel’s mind that this selfie might attract unwarranted attention. But as she gazed lovingly at herself in the hand-crafted mirror, she noticed Mrs. Claus rushing up behind her, bellowing something about Santa delivering presents where he shouldn’t, as evidenced by the familiar North Pole […]
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