1. Some like it hot. These folks reach in, turn the hot-water tap to ultra-gusher, completely ignore the cold-water tap, and then leave the settings like this for the entire three-hour tour. Now, I generally like to wash away my sins as well as anyone, but I […]
Momma, inside the house: “Lilah Jean, you get your fanny back in this house this instant and change into something decent.” Lilah Jean: “But Momma, I got this out of your closet.” Momma: “I’m perfectly aware of that, young lady. I’m the one that buried it in there […]
Cary: “You know, there are rumors about me being gay, especially when it comes to playing slap and tickle with a certain roommate I had back in the day.” Jimmy: “Well, there are rumors about me refusing to play slap and tickle with certain socialites with far too […]
In a rare moment when the Public Health Commission in Mississippi was allowed to speak freely without intervention by religious nut-jobs, the citizens of Biloxi learn what they can expect to encounter when it comes to bladder control in their senior years… Hedda Mae Groaningrock, standing behind the […]
Let’s eavesdrop on the students at the Barbizon School for Women, starting far left: Starlet #1: “I know that we’re supposed to be doing modeling exercises, but I had far too many Harvey Wallbangers last night, as well as a few Harveys, and I really need to just […]
Typically, I’m not one to make resolutions for the New Year. I gave that mess up a long time ago, mainly due to my consistent serial failure with such attempts. It’s hard to predict what’s coming in any given month, never mind 12 of them, so there’s always […]
Leslie, left: “My dearest wish is that you understand how much I care for you. You are my pearl, my endless delight, my everything.” Bette: “Well, I’ve got a few wishes of my own. Three of them, actually. First, somebody needs to speak to you about halitosis. It’s […]
Ernie: “Well, would you look at that. Those fancy Hollywood reporters are following us into the woods cuz they think we’re somethin’ special.” Addie Mae: “Sugar, they ain’t reporters. Them are dentists lookin’ for some revenue cuz Obamacare says they got to do some actual work if they […]
Click here to read Part 1 of my loving tribute to the Yuletide Season. (Fair admission: This Part is not quite as loving as the First Part.) Or you can just plunge right in… 4. The madness of idiots who have somehow passed a driving test at some […]
Note: It’s the holiday season, which means it’s also time for me to drag out some of my admittedly over-shared “Christmas” posts. Let’s start with this one, a reflection on priorities. And yes, “Crate & Barrel” is a real chain of fancy-ass emporiums. Ah, that time of year […]
Bonnywood Manor 
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