Several years ago, as I was naively living what I thought was a rather satisfactory life, a dear friend pulled me to the side, handed me a margarita, waited for me to finish it (which took 3 seconds, because I have skills), and then said: “Everything you are […]
Fair disclosure: This one gets a little naughty… 1. David, Cop Her Feel (“A dispirited lad in London suddenly realizes that women have breasts and he chooses a new career path as a test subject in Knackered Nancy’s Massage School for Busty Lasses.”) 2. Jane Erred (“A Young […]
Howdy, Clam Bakers. Well, then. Last night’s impromptu shindig proved to be a moderate success, based on how many of you never managed to make it home. (It is simply amazing how many of you awoke this morning looking dewy and supple, despite having slept face-down on a […]
Giselle, on the Right: “Whatever are you working on, darling?” Veronique, on the Left: “Oh, I’m just jotting down a few notes for when the police arrive. Don’t mind me.” Giselle: “The police? That seems rather intrusive. Why on earth would they do that?” Veronique: “Well, I did […]
Once upon a time, as a companion piece to my “Backup Dancers From Hell” blog, I had a side project entitled “Typos From Hell”, wherein I would slightly alter the title of a popular song and then come up with a fake promotional bit for that violated title. […]
Note: This is the “Pinterest” version, but the shocking obsessions and degradations essentially apply to all platforms. More to follow. 1. You no longer remember the names of your children. Or if you even have any. 2. The last time you looked at the television, “Friends” was still […]
Howdy, Clam Bakers. Before we get to tonight’s entertainment program, I feel compelled to mention something that surfaced at our last staff meeting during happy hour at Monique’s House of Sushi and Slammers. We have very few regulations here at Camp Bonnywood, and we strongly encourage the healthy […]
So, I innocently wander into the kitchen, wanting a little snack but not really sure what that might entail. I’m not dying of hunger, but I’m at that age when the simple things please me, like shoving food in my mouth when I don’t really need it. (It’s […]
This is how one turns to a life of crime and indiscretion: When your older sisters force you to wear ridiculous costumes and then torment you further by laughing uproariously, despite their inability to arrange Grandma Bennett’s heirloom china in a proper table setting. The day will come, […]
Note: This the first installment in a serialized story I did back in the day on “The Sound and the Fury”. Since I composed my posts “live” in the Blogger application at that time, rather than composing in Microsoft Word like I do now, this is essentially a […]
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