Greta: “I’m so excited that we’re getting our picture taken!” Hans: “Oh, please. I’m a year older than you, and let me assure you that this will get tiresome really fast.” Greta: “You’re such a pessimist, Hans. You’re just mad because you’re wearing obscenely ridiculous shorts.” Hans: “Like […]
Clark: “I just realized something.” Claudette: “That I’m trapped in the gravitational pull of one of your giant ears?” Clark: “Look, I warned you about those things. Don’t get too close unless you’re firmly tied to a boat anchor.” Claudette: “But I am. I’m latched to what’s left […]
And here we have another dusty case file from the days of my “Idiot Fondue” blog, wherein I posed as a snooty psychoanalyst, answering emails from actual readers posing as “patients”. Enjoy. My ebullient assistant, Lanae, just handed me this missive, and then she immediately began prepping […]
Ernie: “Well, would you look at that. Those fancy Hollywood reporters are following us into the woods cuz they think we’re somethin’ special.” Addie Mae: “Sugar, they ain’t reporters. Them are dentists lookin’ for some revenue cuz Obamacare says they got to do some actual work if they […]
Here’s the deal. I was tidying up the house the other day when I noticed that the on-hand stock of a certain “relationship enhancement” product was alarmingly low. Now, I normally wouldn’t think it appropriate to publicly share details of the bedroom. But in this particular case, considering […]
Greta: “I’m so excited that we’re getting our picture taken!” Hans: “Oh, please. I’m a year older than you, and let me assure you that this will get tiresome really fast.” Greta: “You’re such a pessimist, Hans. You’re just mad because you’re wearing obscenely ridiculous shorts.” Hans: “Like […]
Note: Freely admitting that this one gets a little absurd, even for me, which is why I heart it greatly. Fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the ride… Documentary Narrator: “As they dig through the musty archives of the long-abandoned Folly Beach library, the investigative team made a surprising […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People That I May or May Not Have Slept with But No Longer Recall If I Did So, “Thank you for joining us on this fourth night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. I’m sure you’re just as excited as I […]
Note: This is a performance clip from a TV special, something I normally don’t mess with when doing music video reviews, but after watching it I knew I wouldn’t feel good in the morning if I let this one go. It’s from 1972, and that alone should explain […]
Clark: “I just realized something.” Claudette: “That I’m trapped in the gravitational pull of one of your giant ears?” Clark: “Look, I warned you about those things. Don’t get too close unless you’re firmly tied to a boat anchor.” Claudette: “But I am. I’m latched to what’s left […]
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