McDonald’s was the pivotal food-purveyance establishment where all the young uns developed life-long addictions to fried, processed, protein-void food that would ensure we would grow up to line the pockets of the healthcare industry. (We didn’t know squat about “healthy eating” back then. When you were hungry, […]
Since it’s a holiday, I’m yanking this one out of the dusty archives… 1. She is often airborne. The lovely lass has been taking gymnastics lessons for some time, and apparently the leaders of this possible cult encourage their members to practice ALL the time. This results […]
Once upon a time, my family had a woody. (How’s that for a vague but potentially questionable opening line?) In the interests of fair disclosure and the avoidance of retroactive investigations by Child Protective Services, I should point out that the “woody” in this case refers to a […]
Click here to read this story from the beginning. Brief Re-Cap: Annoyed by the loss of our TV signal due to an alarming snowstorm, I have just dashed out the back door, intent on some vague form of resolution… I’m only on the back patio for roughly […]
Clarissa, left: “Why, yes, Mother. I am feeling a little blue. However did you know?” Mother, always right: “Partly because I gave birth to you and I can sense your erratic mood swings. But mostly because I could hear you from the other room, sighing with the increasing […]
Exhibit A: Richard Harris – “MacArthur Park” Mom was working at St. John’s Hospital in Tulsa, Oklahoma at the time. As everyone in the medical profession knows, hospital shifts involve some jacked-up hours, and I vaguely recall that Mom had to report at 6am. (This may be a […]
Note: This one has been yanked from the archives, so please excuse the cryptic references that don’t quite make sense in the chronology of things. That aside, I think my meanderings still hold up as A Separate Piece (kudos to anyone who gets that obscure reference, as I […]
1. She used your middle name when screaming from another room that you needed to report to her immediately. 2. Dead silence on her end of the line when you called her at work for the twenty-seventh time in one afternoon. 3. Proclaiming at dinner that you don’t […]
As a child, there was a stretch when I had an infatuation with fortune cookies. I was old enough to read, but young enough to readily believe in the lies that society will tell you. We didn’t go to Chinese restaurants all that often, as some of the […]
And so it was As I pondered tonight What should I post What should I write Many folks are busy With kith and with kin Anything I scribble Will hit the dust bin Unseen and forlorn Lost in the fray Of folks celebrating The spirit of […]
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