Tag: Clara Bow

Past Imperfect – #306

Father: “You’ve disappointed me again, Clara.” Clara: “Whatever could you mean, Father?” Father: “Coming home drunk again, all tarted up and messy.” Clara: “How could you possibly think I was drink?” Father: “”Because you’re talking to the hat rack over there, and I’m over here.” Clara: “Oh. I […]

Past Imperfect – #296

At the start of the photo shoot, Clara had been very excited about being aboard a sailing ship on a beautiful day. The sun was shining, the seagulls were making delightful gull noises, the gently bobbing waves were soothing, and the refreshing salty breeze reminded her of many […]

Past Imperfect – #215

Editor’s Note: I’m 97% certain that this is the last Yuletide post I’ll drag out of the archives this holiday season, but we’ll see. Enjoy… Clara’s Diary: “December 24th, late. So I met this guy. I was at a bar in West Hollywood, that part of town where […]

Past Imperfect – #369

Clara: “See, the door is right there. So I don’t understand why people didn’t show up for my party.” Detective: “Well, I’m not really seeing a door, so maybe your invited guests didn’t either.” Clara: “Oh, don’t be so simple. I designed the entrance to be just like […]

Past Imperfect – #378

Deep in an underground research bunker, because above-ground bunkers are just not as exciting, a conversation is taking place… Historian #1, the guy with the most seniority: “This is an amazing artifact. Where on earth did you manage to find this?” Historian #2, with no seniority at all […]

Past Imperfect – #371

After a few too many sloe gin fizzes, Clara felt triumphantly sexy and decided that this was the day she would seduce the cute mailman who was always bringing her those delightful paychecks. Sadly, she was fully unaware that her fizz-spattered outfit was a libido-killing outrage, especially when […]

Past Imperfect – #287

Clara: “So what’s my motivation in this scene?” Director: “The talkies have just been invented, and most of America will not be able to understand your thick Brooklyn accent and your days as a star are possibly numbered.” Clara: “Got it.”  

Past Imperfect – #283

Clara: “How about we blow this joint and go do something fun?” Milford: “I’m working, Clara. Somebody has to put food on the table.” Clara: “What do you think I’m doing?” Milford: “Indiscriminate and random carnality does not pay the bills.” Clara: “You really don’t get out very […]