1. Getting the lawn mower out of the shed Once upon a time, we thought it would be really cute to convert the garage into another den, because we had too much furniture in the rest of the house. (I have an inability to consider where I’m […]
1. Open the refrigerator door and stare into it. It’s still all the same stuff that was in there the last twenty times you looked, but if you stare hard enough you will notice something that you haven’t seen in a while. You probably won’t want to […]
Note: Another dusty excerpt from the files of the dubious psychologist, Dr. Brian, who used to have his own blog on the outer fringes of Bonnywood Manor, wherein he would answer emails from his clients. His bedside manner needs a bit of work, but it was fun messing […]
There are monkeys on top of the Rock of Gibraltar. Did you know this? I certainly didn’t. Well, that’s not entirely fair to say. One of our travelling companions, a lovely lass that I’ll call “Twyla” for now, because I haven’t mentioned to her that I might ensnare […]
1. The constant nipple protrusion. When the temperature drops, my hi-beams come on. For hours at a time. And with an intensity that is mildly frightening. Some of my shirts are so lacerated at pec level that it looks like Edward Scissorhands dropped by for a drunken game […]
“I love you more than beer.” “You complete my bobble-head collection.” “You tractor-pulled my heart.” “Your eyes sparkle like moonshine.” “You are the prettiest girl in the Wal-Marts parking lot.” “I love you like a sister. Oh wait…” “Love means never […]
As the extended and exasperating election drama plays out in America (yes, I’m taking my anxiety medication, no worries there), I thought I’d drag a few of the tinier Past Imperfects out of the archives. Some of these are not exactly stellar in composition, but hopefully you’ll get […]
This is the continuation of a story that starts here… Monsieur Fromage was in a bit of a pickle. He had been given the simple task of greeting the guests invited to Stabbington Abbey for the annual All Hallows Eve Dinner Party and Possible Bacchanalia. Well, perhaps […]
This is the continuation of a story that starts here… Inigo Flamboya and Monsieur Fromage continued to stare at the hybrid vehicle wherein which resided (rumor had it) a pregnant woman who was about to uptick the global population at a really inconsiderate time. Base on the agonized […]
It was a dark and Stormy Daniels night, 1927. Thunder cracked and lightning rolled as a small caravan of dripping cars entered the circular drive in front of the oldest building at the Bonnywood Manor enclave, an immense mansion that reeked of old money and ancient plumbing. If […]
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