Fair disclosure: This one gets a little naughty… 1. David, Cop Her Feel (“A dispirited lad in London suddenly realizes that women have breasts and he chooses a new career path as a test subject in Knackered Nancy’s Massage School for Busty Lasses.”) 2. Jane Erred (“A Young […]
1. “I am king of this box. And my rule will be unstoppable. Anyone who questions my authority will find a mangled cricket on their pillow tonight.” 2. “Why are you asking me to smile? Our people smile for no one.” 3. “Don’t you dare come at me […]
The spectators could laugh all they wanted, but the students in Miss Elsa’s class on “How to Make Sure Your Man Has a Reason to Come Home Every Night” were fully invested in the end game… Note: This is Exhibit #17 in Bonnywood’s March Madness. Details found […]
Leticia could not believe what her mother had just muttered. “Could you repeat that?” Mother: “I said that you should get away from that window before the neighbors see you.” Leticia: “But I want them to see me. This outfit was specially designed for me by La Maison […]
Errol Flynn, far left: “I have no idea what’s going on right now. This might have something to do with the fact that I’ve been drinking since last Tuesday. It’s entirely possible that I owe somebody somewhere a lot of money for a stunning bar tab, but that’s […]
“I ain’t never met someone done made me ring the cowbell like you.” “Thank you for standin’ up for me after we broke Momma’s waterbed.” “I thought of you the other day when I was plowin’ the cornfield.” “I know I got me a good woman when she […]
Toby, actress, confused: “What do you mean, what am I doing? With my hand?” Hank, director, proving that he might not be a very good one since he was standing nowhere near the camera: “No, your outfit. Why are you wearing that?” Boyd, assistant director, rumored to be […]
Note: This is an older post, so the events and references contained within are from the past, not now, so behave yourselves accordingly. Enjoy. Dearest Friends, Casual Acquaintances, and Past Lovers Who Pine for Me Endlessly (at least in my imagination): Some of you are aware that my […]
1. Some like it hot. These folks reach in, turn the hot-water tap to ultra-gusher, completely ignore the cold-water tap, and then leave the settings like this for the entire three-hour tour. Now, I generally like to wash away my sins as well as anyone, but I […]
Momma, inside the house: “Lilah Jean, you get your fanny back in this house this instant and change into something decent.” Lilah Jean: “But Momma, I got this out of your closet.” Momma: “I’m perfectly aware of that, young lady. I’m the one that buried it in there […]
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