Mop-Etta: “Do you really love me?” Gene: “With all of my heart, because that’s what the lyrics in this song say.” Mop-Etta: “But you understand that we can never have children because, well, I don’t have any lower organs.” Gene: “It doesn’t matter, my floor-cleansing beauty. We can […]
Walter, internally: “I don’t know why we’re doing this. I only went on this date so my parents would quit pestering me about the fact that I haven’t shown any interest in women since birth. I want to stay in my father’s will, naturally, because an inherited lifestyle […]
It appears that someone on the Admissions Staff at Saint Bernadette’s School for Chaste and Modest Girls made a slight error. Sister Ecclesiasta Mae had something to say about that. “How in Heaven’s glowing name did all of these scoundrels get in here?” Sister Ruthina Anastasia did not […]
As Mrs. Shawn rounded the corner into the living room, she finally began to understand why her son had never married…
Once again, the members of Omega Delta Dawn make the walk of shame back to the sorority house after questionable decisions were made at the nearby fraternity… Betty, far left: “You’d think I’d learn one of these days that I shouldn’t drink anything a man is offering. They […]
There are certain times in everyone’s life when they really shouldn’t follow the lead of their friends. This is clearly one of them…
Meanwhile, at the latest Tea Party rally, the participants gleefully prepare for the Kool-Aid-Drinking ceremony…
It wasn’t until later in the evening that Philip and Marnie learned the consequences of over-indulging in the cabbage soup on the buffet line at the St. Agnes Social. Sadly, this turbulent revelation came at a most inopportune time, just as Sister Mary Edna took the stage to […]
Despite all the prayers and special schooling, Linda’s parents knew that they should probably set aside some money for eventual attorney fees and bail bonds and damage receipts. But Linda didn’t care. She had the music in her. And it was clearly fighting to escape…
Margaret had always been an unruly child, clamoring for attention. But when she returned from her year abroad in bohemian Paris, the annoyance factor escalated…
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