The Initial Premise: Several folks in our inner circle decided it would be a swell idea to gather round one evening and tidy up our various blogs, en masse, sharing tips and ideas and thematic evaluations. To make the experience seem more artsy than we all knew […]
There was a gasp in the courtroom, followed by silence. All eyes turned toward the judge, curious as to how she might take that last remark. Ima Beansprout sighed, took off her glasses, rubbed her eyes, then turned to the defendant in the witness box, clearly not satisfied […]
1. Who are all these strange people sleeping on your couches? Granted, some of them look a little familiar, so they could actually be invited guests who decided they might not be in the best condition to get on the nation’s highways. But it’s hard to tell. Let’s […]
1. It’s hard to make a grand entrance at the restaurant when obnoxious people are blocking your way. Okay, Mr. Speed Bump, I understand that the 47 pounds of spicy, fried lard that you just ate might slow you down a bit. Got it. But seriously, why are […]
The occasion: A festive birthday party at a friend’s lovely home. The setting: The quaint back patio of said lovely home. The time: Several drinks into the night. The factuality: This actually happened, although I fudged a bit with things like the real names of the people […]
1. The Surly Temple This drink was originally created to placate people who confused their uptight religious upbringing (no demon alcohol!) with their natural social inclination to have a good time with their less salvation-based friends. Sadly, because the Surly Temple has no actual alcohol and did nothing […]
1. Avoid social interactions with questionable relatives. Yes, you do have to offer an initial greeting to everyone that you see, this is only polite, but your line of responsibility ends there. Once you have achieved this basic fake show of happiness that you have seen them once […]
Editor’s Note: Many thanks to the fine folks who suggested phrases for this second edition… 1. “Well, butter my butt and call me a biscuit!” Translation: “I am completely stunned by this unexpected turn in our conversation. And since I didn’t have an adequate response I decided to […]
Editor’s Note: This is a refurbished older post, a cautionary tale of what can happen when you mix the gift-exchange process with excessive amounts of alcohol. The references are a wee bit dated, but the underlying moral is the same: Don’t drink and unwrap. Unless everybody else […]
Surgeon General’s Warning: Studies have shown that the over-consumption of alcohol is perhaps the only way to survive awkward social engagements with people who have never read a book in their entire lives…
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