Myrna, left: “I haven’t the faintest idea what she’s talking about.” William, not so much left: “Nor do I. Perhaps she’s discussing stock options, with that bit about alternative arrangements.” Bartender, background: “I could clear up the confusion in two seconds, but you people haven’t won any awards […]
Arrogant Detective: “Are you actually telling me that you can’t identify the person driving this car?” Frustrated Potential Witness Who Didn’t Really See Anything: “How on earth am I supposed to know that?” Detective: “Don’t trifle with me. The security camera at Beulah’s Emporium of Wanton Sex Toys […]
Once upon a time, there was a man who had managed to amass a considerable number of wives, because government officials didn’t pay any attention to what was going on in Utah until it was too late. At first, his cavalcade of concubines had proved exceedingly satisfactory, as […]
1. The Surly Temple This drink was originally created to placate people who confused their uptight religious upbringing (no demon alcohol!) with their natural social inclination to have a good time with their less salvation-based friends. Sadly, because the Surly Temple has no actual alcohol and did nothing […]
Editor’s Note: This is a refurbished older post, a cautionary tale of what can happen when you mix the gift-exchange process with excessive amounts of alcohol. The references are a wee bit dated, but the underlying moral is the same: Don’t drink and unwrap. Unless everybody else […]
Hi, everybody! It’s me again, playing on Daddy’s toplap because he’s in the Food Room trying to make a breakfast burrito. He’ll be in there a while, because he makes them extra special and puts lots of stuff in them, stuff that I can barely smell before I […]
Hi. The lovely folks who carefully monitor my “Park” posts (all three of you) are most likely expecting a continuation of the last “Park”, wherein I shared bittersweet bits from my childhood. This is an honest expectation, as I ended that post with a “more to come!” teaser […]
All of the Hollingsworth women knew that the only way to survive their family reunions was to “step outside for some fresh air”… Originally posted in “Crusty Pie” on 03/10/15 and “Bonnywood Manor” on 02/23/16. No changes made. Sometimes simple is better. In a rare move, […]
Note: This little nugget is from way back in the day when I was flailing around on another network. I was still trying to figure out my voice, but there are glimmers of things to come… 1. The overwhelming layer of dead leaves in the front yard. I’m […]
“I love you more than beer.” “You complete my bobble-head collection.” “You tractor-pulled my heart.” “Your eyes sparkle like moonshine.” “You are the prettiest girl in the Wal-Marts parking lot.” “I love you like a sister. Oh wait…” “Love means never havin’ to say which one of them […]
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