“The only thing that can possibly explain this scene is the now-empty enormous coffee cup in the lower right…” Suddenly, someone stomped into my home office. I cannot name this person because said person is one of those family members who does not care to be mentioned in […]
This little holiday doesn’t have quite as much going for it, unlike the flashier Thanksgiving and Christmas spectaculars, filled as they are with rituals like massive feasts and drunken relatives bickering over stupid things. Basically, May Day involves flowers and people prancing around a stripper pole. That’s about […]
Claire stood on the back patio, undecided, trying to focus, trying to breathe. It was all simply too much to process, too much to consider. And she had to decide now? It was insane. This morning she had been unaware, concerned with nothing more than which packet of […]
One from the archives… At 5:30pm, a van rolled up our driveway, carrying the second wave of relatives to come a callin’ in as many weekends. (As I’m sure you can imagine, my eyes lit up with sheer joy upon noting their arrival. Swear.) At 5:31, the van […]
Leticia could not believe what her mother had just muttered. “Could you repeat that?” Mother: “I said that you should get away from that window before the neighbors see you.” Leticia: “But I want them to see me. This outfit was specially designed for me by La Maison […]
Daphne was in a bit of a pickle. At first, it had seemed like a rather festive idea to surprise her lover with this mildly naughty tableau, hinting as it did at yuletide carnality. If things went as she had carefully planned, including the selection of a delicious […]
Momma, inside the house: “Lilah Jean, you get your fanny back in this house this instant and change into something decent.” Lilah Jean: “But Momma, I got this out of your closet.” Momma: “I’m perfectly aware of that, young lady. I’m the one that buried it in there […]
Joan: “Look, I understand that you are upset, but there is absolutely no reason for you to be shoving your hand anywhere near my bosom. You’re not a casting director.” Cliff: “No, you don’t understand. I have been in the kitchen all day, sweating my ass off and […]
Click here to read Part 1 of my loving tribute to the Yuletide Season. Otherwise, plunge right in… 9. The issue about the things you shove in a bird. First off, we have this raging debate on what one calls the bread-based concoction that one uses to […]
Him: “So, it’s happening again, is it?” Her: “I’m afraid so. It’s Christmas time in the city.” Him: “Silver bells and snowy WordPress themes?” Her: “Ring-a-ling and hear them ping.” Him: “You know, when I was a wee lad, I really enjoyed Christmas. So much wonder and hope.” […]
Bonnywood Manor 
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