So, I’m trying something new. [Immediately, the gathered crowd gasps. Embeecee: “What the hell? Why does he keep trying these new things that he never follows up with and it becomes a sinkhole of nothing? He should stick with what we love, the Past Imperfects, the Present Tenses, […]
Damn, I couldn’t believe it had gotten this bad so quickly. The last time I had dropped in, dragging my wheeled picnic basket, the park had been filled with people, many dots of color, the smaller ones dashing about and scream-giggling, the larger ones more controlled, lounging on […]
As he tossed and turned, covered in a light sweat, the writer had a fever dream wherein, late one dark and stormy night, certain correspondents knocked on the door at Bonnywood Manor, demanding entry and entertainment and booze. The writer sighed (inwardly), smiled graciously (outwardly), and turned to […]
Note: This was a personal mea culpa to my friend Laura, who I done did wrong one day… Prosecuting Attorney Lowena Purvis cleared her throat rather demonstratively, an attention-getting device she had perfected while studying law at Beaver Valley Community College in Syracuse. This effort at guttural domination […]
As Zelda walked into the Gamma Bamma Slamma sorority house for her interview, she was not at all disturbed by the exuberant smoking, the obvious fact that none of them had a professional stylist, or even the aura of possible lesbianism. She was, however, a bit concerned that […]
Nun #1: “Do you ever wonder, Sister Mary Margaret Mary Marie, why the archbishop assigned us to New Orleans? Out of all the places he could choose?” Nun #2: “I’ve never questioned it, Sister Mary Margaret Magdalena Macarena Hey Macarena. God guides the archbishop, and he guides us.” […]
To read this tragic tale from the beginning, click here. A few days after my Norma Rae incident on the front stoop, there is a jackhammer attacking my innocent driveway. (“Why do you want to hurt me when I’ve done nothing to you?” asks said driveway. “Because […]
To read this tragic tale from the beginning, click here. The dinner party was a success, despite the constant threat of our poo spilling into the neighborhood. The above sentence frightens me on a number of psychological levels. One, it’s a true statement. That alone indicates an […]
To read this tragic tale from the beginning, click here. So Terry is back on the horn with the Mob Boss contractor guy. Mob Man is amazed that the singing plumbers would leave without fixing the problem. (Why would we make this up? Did he think we […]
To read this tragic tale from the beginning, click here. Once we sedated the cat, Terry got on the horn with this plumber guy that we have worked with in the past. It had only been small jobs, like replacing the washers in the shower head or […]
Recent Comments