Tag: Fiction

Past Imperfect – #110

As he tossed and turned, covered in a light sweat, the writer had a fever dream wherein, late one dark and stormy night, certain correspondents knocked on the door at Bonnywood Manor, demanding entry and entertainment and booze. The writer sighed (inwardly), smiled graciously (outwardly), and turned to […]

Past Imperfect – #396

Well, since we’re just mere days away, I thought I should drag out a few Halloween posts… Carole first realized that perhaps she had gotten off at the wrong subway stop when that whiny little girl from The Exorcist began waving about an inverted crucifix. She braced herself […]

Past Imperfect – #550

Nora: “Darling, must we really do this?” Nick: “I have no idea what you’re talking about.” Nora: “Of course you have an idea. You have an odd-looking piece of artillery positioned precisely above your crotch. I’m not sure what you’re trying to prove. We are both fully aware […]

Past Imperfect – #277

Jimmy: “I’m sorry, what did you just ask?” Maggie: “Where is your Husband Department?” Jimmy: “Are you trying to find the Men’s clothing section?” Maggie: “No, Husband. I need a new one.” Jimmy: “May I inquire as to what’s wrong with the old one?” Maggie: “He’s just not […]

Past Imperfect – #77

This is how one turns to a life of crime and indiscretion: When your older sisters force you to wear ridiculous costumes and then torment you further by laughing uproariously, despite their inability to arrange Grandma Bennett’s heirloom china in a proper table setting. The day will come, […]

Something Irresponsible This Way Comes

Note: Another one from the archives, this time involving a personal mea culpa to my friend Laura, who I done did wrong one day… Prosecuting Attorney Lowena Purvis cleared her throat rather demonstratively, an attention-getting device she had perfected while studying law at Beaver Valley Community College in […]

Past Imperfect – #68

This fashion accessory was all the rage in the upper ranks of Parisian Society, and everyone who was anyone just had to have one or they would be shunned forever. Fifteen minutes later, someone pointed out that you couldn’t drink wine whilst wearing such a thing. The Beaky […]

Past Imperfect – #419

Clark: “I just realized something.” Claudette: “That I’m trapped in the gravitational pull of one of your giant ears?” Clark: “Look, I warned you about those things. Don’t get too close unless you’re firmly tied to a boat anchor.” Claudette: “But I am. I’m latched to what’s left […]