Dear Diary, I am a wretched and horrible human being. Oh wait, perhaps I should catch you up a bit. You see, once upon a time, I was having a delightful digital conversation with the lovely Embeecee (otherwise known as the Once and Future Queen of Utah, long […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Think They Can Sing but They Really Shouldn’t, “Thank you for joining us on yet another night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. I’m sure a few of you are beginning to wonder if this festival will ever end, […]
Note: This is an excerpt from another book-in-progress, one concerning a family cruise in the Caribbean. All you really need to know is that Tiffany is my best friend, Terry is my partner, and things can get steamy in the heat of a tropical sun… Now, let’s […]
Fred had no idea if Barbara was telling the truth about that thing he was supposed to be investigating, but he was fairly certain that if she uncrossed her legs at this moment it would be quite obvious that she had little concern for undergarment propriety. Barbara: “I […]
Lady on the Left: “Girl, what’s up with that humongous thing on your head and the Bible nestled in your safety-dance zone? I was pretty proud of my Napoleon-tribute hat-wear until you came along.” Lady on the Right: “If you must know, I’m just trying to be closer […]
Nancy: “Why are you banging on my door?” Banging Man: “Have you accepted Jesus into your heart?” Nancy: “Does it look like I would be friends with him on Facebook?” Banging Man: “We can all be redeemed as long as we have faith. And some disposable income for […]
Note: This is another Crusty Pie post where the original is a bit lackluster. So, let’s mess around with it, shall we? Original Take. Woman on the Right: “I really think highly of myself and therefore must wear this impromptu crown that I fashioned out of my […]
Note: Freely admitting that this one gets a little absurd, even for me, which is why I heart it greatly. Fasten your seatbelts and enjoy the ride… Documentary Narrator: “As they dig through the musty archives of the long-abandoned Folly Beach library, the investigative team made a surprising […]
Jane: “I feel compelled to report an issue with my accommodations.” Hairaldo: “You look like you are compelled about a lot of things. And why is your dress stapled to your bosom?” Jane: “That’s not important. I didn’t sleep well at all last night.” Hairaldo: “Did you remember […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Would Much Rather Be Anywhere Else but They’ve Already Paid for Their Tickets and They Might as Well Get Some Free Shrimp Dip Out of It, “Thank you for joining us on yet another night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival […]
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