Here at the Neurotica Café, we offer a full dining experience to ensure that you have the most emotionally-appropriate meal you have ever had. We accept all major credit cards and most insurance plans. Reservations are strongly suggested, both mentally and physically. 1. The Passive-Aggressive Patty Melt […]
Howdy, Clam Bakers. Before we get to tonight’s entertainment program, I feel compelled to mention something that surfaced at our last staff meeting during happy hour at Monique’s House of Sushi and Slammers. We have very few regulations here at Camp Bonnywood, and we strongly encourage the healthy […]
When the tryouts were held to find the next Dee-Lux Hosiery glamour model, it quickly became clear to the selection committee that the next competition should be moved to a city with more than one hair stylist. And more than one family. Still, they had a job to […]
Storms have rolled in once again. This is rather annoying, because it’s near the end of July and by this time in Texas we should be done with all that mess. July and August are the months when a high-pressure cell typically plunks its ass right over the […]
So, I’m trying something new. [Immediately, the gathered crowd gasps. Embeecee: “What the hell? Why does he keep trying these new things that he never follows up with and it becomes a sinkhole of nothing? He should stick with what we love, the Past Imperfects, the Present Tenses, […]
Damn, I couldn’t believe it had gotten this bad so quickly. The last time I had dropped in, dragging my wheeled picnic basket, the park had been filled with people, many dots of color, the smaller ones dashing about and scream-giggling, the larger ones more controlled, lounging on […]
As he tossed and turned, covered in a light sweat, the writer had a fever dream wherein, late one dark and stormy night, certain correspondents knocked on the door at Bonnywood Manor, demanding entry and entertainment and booze. The writer sighed (inwardly), smiled graciously (outwardly), and turned to […]
Note: This was a personal mea culpa to my friend Laura, who I done did wrong one day… Prosecuting Attorney Lowena Purvis cleared her throat rather demonstratively, an attention-getting device she had perfected while studying law at Beaver Valley Community College in Syracuse. This effort at guttural domination […]
As Zelda walked into the Gamma Bamma Slamma sorority house for her interview, she was not at all disturbed by the exuberant smoking, the obvious fact that none of them had a professional stylist, or even the aura of possible lesbianism. She was, however, a bit concerned that […]
Nun #1: “Do you ever wonder, Sister Mary Margaret Mary Marie, why the archbishop assigned us to New Orleans? Out of all the places he could choose?” Nun #2: “I’ve never questioned it, Sister Mary Margaret Magdalena Macarena Hey Macarena. God guides the archbishop, and he guides us.” […]
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