Tag: Film

Past Imperfect – #571

Director: “Has anybody seen Marlon? I need him on the set.” Bitter Scriptwriter: “Why does he have to be here? My words are superb. Anybody could do this scene, assuming that they can read.” Not-bitter Production Assistant who still believed that she could bed The Brando given the […]

Past Imperfect – #366

The narrator intones in a soothing baritone, a velvet-gravel mix enhanced by aged whiskey and pungent cigars, neither of which he has ever mentioned to his physician, lest his insurance premiums go up… “Once upon a time, before the invention of video games and the Internet and Fox […]

Past Imperfect – #145

Jane: “I feel compelled to report an issue with my accommodations.” Hairaldo: “You look like you are compelled about a lot of things. And why is your dress stapled to your bosom?” Jane: “That’s not important. I didn’t sleep well at all last night.” Hairaldo: “Did you remember […]

Past Imperfect – #139

Taffy fully admitted that she didn’t know a lot of things, but she was suddenly certain of this: Her man was cheating on her, once again. She snatched up the photo and stomped toward the back of the house, throwing open a door and confronting her lover. “We […]

Past Imperfect – #575

Meredith knew she had put it off long enough. She had hemmed. She had hawed. She had worked on things that didn’t need working, piddled with things that didn’t need piddling, and dicked with things that didn’t need dicking. She had even scrubbed all the toilets in the […]