Ramon: “My love, I don’t quite understand why my affections don’t have you on the verge of ovulation.” Evelyn: “Really? Well, let me help you out a bit, although I’m not quite sure where to start. Oh, screw that, let’s start with you doing everything you can to […]
Cary: “You know, there are rumors about me being gay, especially when it comes to playing slap and tickle with a certain roommate I had back in the day.” Jimmy: “Well, there are rumors about me refusing to play slap and tickle with certain socialites with far too […]
Amazon Operator: “How may I direct your call?” Katharine: “I need to speak with someone about my order.” Operator: “May I ask about the nature of your concern?” Katharine: “They sent me the wrong thing, that’s my concern.” Operator: “I see. And what were you expecting to get?” […]
Katharine, left: “I can’t believe that this has happened.” Elizabeth, right: “That somebody let you out of your house wearing a Bea Arthur outfit?” Katharine: “No, that somebody designed a bra that makes your breasts look like that.” Elizabeth: “But I’m not even wearing a bra.” Katharine: “Oh, […]
Note: Yes, this is another music video review. No, you do not have to know the song or the singer or even watch the video. As usual, I’ve taken one thing and turned it into something else entirely. Enjoy. We start off with several model-type men […]
Douglass: “Mae, my sugar bunny, whatever is troubling you so? Mae: “Oh, Douglass, the agony is so intense that I can barely speak!” Douglass: “Now, now. Stop writhing like a Pentecostal. Tell me what has happened. Are you hurt? Is there some blood loss that I need to […]
Jane: “I feel compelled to report an issue with my accommodations.” Hairaldo: “You look like you are compelled about a lot of things. And why is your dress stapled to your bosom?” Jane: “That’s not important. I didn’t sleep well at all last night.” Hairaldo: “Did you remember […]
Butler: “Madame, will you be requiring any more of my services this evening?” Greta: “Really, Mauritz? Does it look like I’m satisfied with how this night has been going?” Butler/Mauritz: “Well, you do seem a bit ‘Jerry Springer’. How may I assist?” Greta: “Let’s start with this unlit […]
Alfred was appalled at Tallulah’s suggestion that he didn’t know how to properly direct this scene. Tallulah was appalled that only one rose had been delivered to her dressing room. The script supervisor was appalled that Tallulah thought her outfit was fetching in any way; with markings like […]
Janet, wife, captured in radiant afterglow: “Why on earth would you say such a thing?” Humberto, current but tentative husband, not captured because he was in the throes of a Bad Hair Day, that wretched beast: “I say such a thing because your glow speaks of life-changing sexual […]
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