It was a dark and Stormy Daniels night, 1927. Thunder cracked and lightning rolled as a small caravan of dripping cars entered the circular drive in front of the oldest building at the Bonnywood Manor enclave, an immense mansion that reeked of old money and ancient plumbing. If […]
Dragging another bit of Halloween mess out of the archives… 1. If you have stupidly stored an important item in a basement where the light flickers, you just need to forget about it and buy a new one. 2. If the hotel clerk hands you the registration book […]
New Note: Although this one is not a “traditional” Halloween story, thus violating the current holiday theme with my posts, I think the horror is real, indeed… Previous Note: I get a bit cranky with this one. (And for those of you unfamiliar with Wal-Mart, just envision “discount […]
Well, since we’re just mere days away, I thought I should drag out a few Halloween posts… Carole first realized that perhaps she had gotten off at the wrong subway stop when that whiny little girl from The Exorcist began waving about an inverted crucifix. She braced herself […]
Van, left: “I can’t believe they’re doing this to me!” Barbara, right: “I can’t believe it, either. Especially since I don’t know what you’re talking about. Who are ‘they’? And do they also want to do things to other people? Like me?” Van: “But I thought you would […]
Dean Stockwell, left: “Dad, what’s up with that huge book on your desk?” Ralph Richardson, center: “It doesn’t matter. What’s important is that I give this bottle of hooch to your brother.” Jason Robards, right: “Thanks, Dad! You’re pretty swell, even if your existence torments me.” Dean: “But […]
Janet, wife, captured in radiant afterglow: “Why on earth would you say such a thing?” Humberto, current but tentative husband, not captured because he was in the throes of a Bad Hair Day, that wretched beast: “I say such a thing because your glow speaks of life-changing sexual […]
Maria: “I just have one prayer, oh Mighty Isis. Could you please send me a publicist who knows how to focus a camera? Okay, maybe two prayers. It would be nice if the costume designer on this gig didn’t feel compelled to disguise the fact that I have […]
We start out with lots of geeky people spending millions of dollars searching for a ship at the bottom of the ocean, a potential discovery that might be minimally interesting but will not change the world in any way. After an interminable amount of time spent watching actors […]
Walter, left: “And what does this here gadget do?” Greer, right: “Sir, I respectfully ask that you not touch amenities that are not included in your ticket price. Could you please return to your seat whilst we finalize flight preparations?” Walter: “But we’re still at the gate. And […]
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