Tag: Film

Past Imperfect – #67

Yes, Colleen was dismayed to learn that her beau had fallen under the spell of that harlot from her Garden Club. Luckily, Colleen had recently installed a lovely contraption wherein all she had to do was pull the rope to her left and the home-wrecking vixen would plummet […]

Past Imperfect – #50

Charlie was surprised when the Immigration Officer informed him that he wasn’t allowed to bring that many mistresses into the country. The Immigration Officer was surprised that Charlie had tried to claim on his declarations form that the mistresses were “work-related purchases”. Most of the mistresses were surprised […]

Past Imperfect – #15

Photographer: “Excuse me, Miss Dunaway. What exactly are you and your leg doing?” Faye: “I’m photographing you photographing me. It’s all the rage in the art scene after Antonioni started doing it when he directed Blow-Up. And artsy people really enjoy doing obscure things based on obscure Italian […]

Past Imperfect – #381

Humphrey Bogart: “I told you to stop arguing with me. Don’t you understand that I have a gun pointed at you?” Bette Davis: “But that’s what I’m talking about. I can’t take that gun seriously. Did you steal it from one of the munchkins in The Wizard of […]

Past Imperfect – #405

Before Colleen could fully grasp what was happening in her previously-pleasant garden, the members of the Cherry Tree Gang went rogue and cornered her near the Koi pond, demanding more sunlight and better fertilizer. Harsh negotiations ensued…  

Past Imperfect – #39

Ernst: “I’m so sorry. Have you been waiting an eternity, my love?” Greta: “What does my face say?” Ernst: “Your beautiful face says that I should remain over here until I ensure that you don’t have a sharp weapon tucked under your napkin.” Greta: “Well, that’s part of […]

Past Imperfect – #197

Director: “I’m sorry, what are you trying to accomplish with that pose?” Actress: “I’m showing the inner torment of my character.” Director: “When did your character become a pouty mermaid? We don’t even have any water in this film.” Actress: “Isn’t that a picture of the Titanic behind […]

Past Imperfect – #94

Angelina was not in a festive mood. She had only agreed to pose for the up-and-coming photographer due to a whimsical bet that had gone awry at the country club. Then there was that whole mess with some government guy wanting to speak with her about the legal […]

Past Imperfect – #233

Casting Director: “Okay, what exactly are you trying to say with this photo in your portfolio? It comes across as a little… odd. Help me out a bit.” Jean: “Well, I was conveying my glamorous side, that I can do high-society roles. I can hold my own against […]