Tag: Film

Past Imperfect – #493

William: “Darling, could you explain to me why you’re doing what you’re doing?” Jean: “We’ve already discussed this, poodle. I’m practicing to be a brain surgeon.” William: “Why do I get the feeling that this lovely procedure is not something you’ve ever read in a textbook?” Jean: “Textbook? […]

50 Classic Redneck Movies

  It’s amazing how messing with just a word or two in a title can totally change your marketing demographic…   1. “The Combine Strikes Back” 2. “Lawrence of Alabama” 3. “The Sound of Mooing” 4. “A Streetcar Named Bessie Mae” 5. “From Here to That Tree over […]

Past Imperfect – #426

The lovely Saturday evening had been going splendidly until Claudette laughed just a bit too hard and the cauliflower casserole from dinner backfired unexpectedly. Her bloomers billowed, the conversation ceased, the cab driver discreetly rolled down a window before they all perished, and the possibility of a second […]

Past Imperfect – #67

Yes, Colleen was dismayed to learn that her beau had fallen under the spell of that harlot from her Garden Club. Luckily, Colleen had recently installed a lovely contraption wherein all she had to do was pull the rope to her left and the home-wrecking vixen would plummet […]

Past Imperfect – #50

Charlie was surprised when the Immigration Officer informed him that he wasn’t allowed to bring that many mistresses into the country. The Immigration Officer was surprised that Charlie had tried to claim on his declarations form that the mistresses were “work-related purchases”. Most of the mistresses were surprised […]

Past Imperfect – #15

Photographer: “Excuse me, Miss Dunaway. What exactly are you and your leg doing?” Faye: “I’m photographing you photographing me. It’s all the rage in the art scene after Antonioni started doing it when he directed Blow-Up. And artsy people really enjoy doing obscure things based on obscure Italian […]

Past Imperfect – #381

Humphrey Bogart: “I told you to stop arguing with me. Don’t you understand that I have a gun pointed at you?” Bette Davis: “But that’s what I’m talking about. I can’t take that gun seriously. Did you steal it from one of the munchkins in The Wizard of […]