Greta, the wife, left: “Is this what it’s come to, with this massive table representing the distance in our marriage?” Felix, the servant, fiddling with who knows what, center, whispering: “Girl, don’t poke the bear. You know he has unregulated testosterone issues.” Anders, husband, possible bear, right: “Whatever […]
Cary: “So, did you sneak in the hacksaw so I can cut through these bars and blow this joint?” Katharine: “I might have. Or maybe I didn’t. You need to answer some questions first.” Cary: “I got nothin’ else to do in here except hope that I don’t […]
Amazon Operator: “How may I direct your call?” Katharine: “I need to speak with someone about my order.” Operator: “May I ask about the nature of your concern?” Katharine: “They sent me the wrong thing, that’s my concern.” Operator: “I see. And what were you expecting to get?” […]
Note: As we close out this chaotic, surreal day in America, I felt compelled to say something, anything, to help us process the latest damaging fallout of an unhinged president. But I wasn’t sure of how I should do this. Do I go funny and light, offering a […]
Henry: “I yearn for you desperately.” Barbara: “How touching. But as you can see by the perfect curl artfully-arranged on my forehead, I’m not particularly fond of touching. Because it might jack with the curl and I spent far too much time in makeup for such a thing […]
Douglass: “Mae, my sugar bunny, whatever is troubling you so? Mae: “Oh, Douglass, the agony is so intense that I can barely speak!” Douglass: “Now, now. Stop writhing like a Pentecostal. Tell me what has happened. Are you hurt? Is there some blood loss that I need to […]
Mary, left: “Why on earth are you banging on my door at such a socially-unacceptable hour?” Bette, right: “Don’t play coy with me. I’ve known for months that my husband has been cheating on me. I just didn’t know where or who, so I hired a detective and […]
Left to right… Mortified Maureen: “I cannot believe that you made me pee in the men’s bathroom. It was insulting and degrading and I’m never coming back here. And stop walking so fast! Just because you have legs longer than the Empire State Building doesn’t mean the rest […]
It was at this precise moment when Colleen suddenly realized why her doctor had advised her to stay away from dairy. Sadly, this was the same moment when her moderately-trusted butler, Heineken, strutted self-importantly into the Two Moon Dining Room and attempted to make (in his own mind) […]
Original Editor’s Note: Found this one in the archives. It’s a fine example of what happens when a desperate blogger is struggling to stretch a thin blog idea into a thousand-word post. It’s also a solid example of a document that one should not introduce in a courtroom […]
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