Bette Davis, left: “What did you just say?” Olivia de Havilland, right: “I said that I love you like a sister but I can’t fully support you leaving the house looking like that.” Bette: “And why is that?” Olivia: “Well, two reasons. One is that no one wears […]
Casting Call on the set of “Peach Blossom Clambake”, left to right… Starlet #1: “I’m going to smile like hell even though I know I’m having a bad hair day. Momma always said that clean, pretty teeth will keep you out of jail. Of course, Momma drank […]
Gary: “Darling, I have terrible news that I must share.” Tallulah: “You’ve been sleeping with everyone on the planet except me?” Gary: “Oh. Well, there might be a tad bit of truth to that rumor, but it’s really not why I called this meeting.” Tallulah: “You’re a serial […]
Glycerina was rather proud of her festive ensemble, as she well should be. After all, it had taken a tremendous amount of effort to put things together, what with The Great War going on and everyone being so bitchy about supplies and late shipments and “personal sacrifice for […]
Myrna: “Although part of me, especially my disappointed hand that is clutching this depressing mess of tuna fish on a croissant, is desperately yearning for what you have to offer, another part of me is convinced that I should alert the proper authorities. You may have salacious intentions […]
Another tainted nugget from the Bonnywood Archival Mines… Hey, folks. Short and chemically sweet this time, just a video and a few words… I’ve babbled about this song before, although I’m not sure if I’ve shared the actual video. In any case, I really like the brief lyrics, […]
Click here to peruse the first part of this story… Amazingly, the confession session with Mom did not turn out to be nearly as brutal as I had anticipated. After all, in the previous fifteen minutes, I had bellowed rude and hateful things in her general direction, […]
Director: “Has anybody seen Marlon? I need him on the set.” Bitter Scriptwriter: “Why does he have to be here? My words are superb. Anybody could do this scene, assuming that they can read.” Not-bitter Production Assistant who still believed that she could bed The Brando given the […]
As I’ve often fully admitted, my mind boomerangs. I see one thing, and I’m reminded of another thing, which leads to even more things and, before I can stop the pinball, my mind-stream has taken me to a tropical island far distant from the one upon which I […]
The narrator intones in a soothing baritone, a velvet-gravel mix enhanced by aged whiskey and pungent cigars, neither of which he has ever mentioned to his physician, lest his insurance premiums go up… “Once upon a time, before the invention of video games and the Internet and Fox […]
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