House #1: “I really don’t like the house to my left. Somebody up in there plays the Zydeco music like Jesus is coming every night. They leave crap in their backyard that really just needs to be thrown in a dumpster. And what the hell are they doing […]
On the down side, Natasha never did figure out why men found her intimidating. On the up side, she eventually had a lucrative career as a spokesmodel for a tamale factory in Escondido…
The Initial Premise: Several folks in our inner circle decided it would be a swell idea to gather round one evening and tidy up our various blogs, en masse, sharing tips and ideas and thematic evaluations. To make the experience seem more artsy than we all knew […]
Ernst: “I’m so sorry. Have you been waiting an eternity, my love?” Greta: “What does my face say?” Ernst: “Your beautiful face says that I should remain over here until I ensure that you don’t have a sharp weapon tucked under your napkin.” Greta: “Well, that’s part of […]
Mellie, having finally gotten her things in order: “Momma, I’m ready!” Momma, apparently somewhere else in the house because she clearly isn’t in this picture: “Ready for what, dear? Breakfast? Give me a few minutes, I’m almost done.” Mellie, obviously unaware that her collar was all jacked-up even […]
“Bless me Father, for I have sinned.” “And how is that, my child?” “It’s been over a week since my last blog.” Silence on the other side of the confessional wall. “Father?” Throat clearing. Then, “Son, I’m not quite sure what this means, but I am here to […]
1. People will stampede if food is involved. Until 11am, everybody in the building is a sloth. Phones are unanswered, priority emails are ignored, and conference calls are full of long silences and the sounds of tumbleweeds blowing past. Nothing is accomplished whatsoever, with customers out of service, […]
1. It’s hard to make a grand entrance at the restaurant when obnoxious people are blocking your way. Okay, Mr. Speed Bump, I understand that the 47 pounds of spicy, fried lard that you just ate might slow you down a bit. Got it. But seriously, why are […]
Note: Since my recent post about a Taco Bell escapade proved to be mildly entertaining, I thought I’d dig another fast-food debacle out of the archives. By the way, PTO = Person Taking Order, the complete twit that has somehow been granted communication permissions at this establishment. […]
As the evening waned, Melanie did have a few regrets. Perhaps she shouldn’t have chosen to wear ballet slippers with an outfit that strongly hinted of working on the serving line at Furr’s Cafeteria. She had initially found this ensemble to be saucily enticing, with its erotic subliminal […]
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