Yesterday, I ate enough food to feed a family of twelve. It all started out rather innocently, as I often state, usually with some degree of tongue in cheek, around mid-morning. Partner and I had arisen and were mutually staring into the jungle of contents within our wide-open […]
One from the archives… It all started rather innocently enough, as most things do. I was in the kitchen, feeling a slight twinge of domesticity struggling to get my attention. The actual mechanics of being domestic, particularly the bit about keeping the house nice and tidy, […]
“The only thing that can possibly explain this scene is the now-empty enormous coffee cup in the lower right…” Suddenly, someone stomped into my home office. I cannot name this person because said person is one of those family members who does not care to be mentioned in […]
Nancy: “Why are you banging on my door?” Banging Man: “Have you accepted Jesus into your heart?” Nancy: “Does it look like I would be friends with him on Facebook?” Banging Man: “We can all be redeemed as long as we have faith. And some disposable income for […]
1. “I am king of this box. And my rule will be unstoppable. Anyone who questions my authority will find a mangled cricket on their pillow tonight.” 2. “Why are you asking me to smile? Our people smile for no one.” 3. “Don’t you dare come at me […]
1. I really shouldn’t have had that ginormous Cobb Salad this afternoon. I enjoyed the hell out of it, but the ensuing personal propulsion, so to speak, is knocking me off balance and I can’t walk from room to room with any degree of grace. Damn you, fiber! […]
I just wanted a quick something to eat, folks. That’s it. And here we go… 1. I was nearly killed, Part I. There I was, traveling along in my car, bellowing along with Adele as she set fire to the rain. (Isn’t it amazing how the […]
Man in the background, left: “See, this is what happens when I take the missus out for a Sunday stroll. She always finds a pack of urchins with the same haircut, and she thinks that by throwing them little tidbits of candy she is somehow improving the world. […]
Mae and Jimmy, rehearsing the infamous grapefruit scene. Mae: “I don’t know about this. It sounds kind of violent.” Jimmy: “Don’t worry about it, doll. I’m just gonna barely tap you with it. Just like this.” Mae: “But what about that other movie where you dragged me by […]
Lupe was startled when she learned that the censors objected to her performance in this scene. After all, this was years before that horrid little man, Will Hays, came up with the insipid Production Code that edited anything remotely naughty out of the movies. Interestingly enough, the […]
Bonnywood Manor 
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