Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Don’t Understand That There Is No Parking in the White Zone, “Thank you for joining us on yet another night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. As we welcome another entry in the 3-Word Challenge, I feel the need […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Would Much Rather Be Anywhere Else but They’ve Already Paid for Their Tickets and They Might as Well Get Some Free Shrimp Dip Out of It, “Thank you for joining us on yet another night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Have Actually Read All the Posts in This Series or It Might Not Make Any Sense, “Thank you for joining us on this… actually, I’m no longer sure what night this is at Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. It […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Smack Their Gum as If It’s the Only Thing Keeping Them Alive, “Thank you for joining us on this sixth night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. Before we introduce our next 3-Word Challenge participant, I’d like to remind […]
Andrea de Voluptua, reporting live from the scene: “I’m here at Esparza’s Mexican Restaurant, formerly known as Guero’s prior to yet another insipid corporate takeover, where police officials confirm that someone has done something they shouldn’t have. It’s not really clear what crime has been committed because details […]
New Intro: Since so many of you have (perhaps reluctantly) hopped on board with the 3-Word Challenge, I thought I’d drag out this bit where I took the challenge myself… The Birth of the 3-Word Challenge: Sushi in the Sky, With Rhinestones Editor’s Note: Many years ago, […]
Janet, wife, captured in radiant afterglow: “Why on earth would you say such a thing?” Humberto, current but tentative husband, not captured because he was in the throes of a Bad Hair Day, that wretched beast: “I say such a thing because your glow speaks of life-changing sexual […]
Note: This is one from the archives. It’s a bit long, and things have changed, but there is an eventual payout. Enjoy. It all started rather innocently. My partner, Terry, turned to me and uttered these deceptively benign words: “Johhna and Patty are going to Pecan Lodge […]
I answered the front door. “Yes?” A man stood there, clipboard in hand and tool belt on waist. “I’m here to fix your water heater.” Hallelujah. I immediately worshipped this man and all he stood for, nearly dropping to my knees and kissing his booted feet for finally […]
“I love you more than beer.” “You complete my bobble-head collection.” “You tractor-pulled my heart.” “Your eyes sparkle like moonshine.” “You are the prettiest girl in the Wal-Marts parking lot.” “I love you like a sister. Oh wait…” “Love means never havin’ to say which one of them […]
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