Carole: “Darling, how thoughtful of you. I’ve always wanted my own personal callus remover. You think of everything.” Darling: “Actually, I didn’t think of everything. I forgot to call you downstairs when it was time to open presents. Christmas was nearly a month ago.” Carole: “Really? I hadn’t […]
Myrna: “Well, then. I guess we should explore our backyard more often. Who knew that you could stand at this part of the fence and see directly into the neighbor’s living room, where they appear to be decorating the Christmas tree in the nude. Is that a thing […]
It had never crossed Muriel’s mind that this selfie might attract unwarranted attention. But as she gazed lovingly at herself in the hand-crafted mirror, she noticed Mrs. Claus rushing up behind her, bellowing something about Santa delivering presents where he shouldn’t, as evidenced by the familiar North Pole […]
Note: Those of you who have been with me for a while know that I have certain stories that I re-share during the holidays. This is the first of several that you will see (re-see?) over the next few days as I spend less time with the blog […]
Click here to read Part 1 of my loving tribute to the Yuletide Season. Otherwise, plunge right in… 9. The issue about the things you shove in a bird. First off, we have this raging debate on what one calls the bread-based concoction that one uses to […]
Click here to read Part 1 of my loving tribute to the Yuletide Season. Otherwise, plunge right in… 4. The madness of idiots who have somehow passed a driving test at some point in their lives. Granted, the Dallas/Fort Worth metroplex is not going to win any […]
1. Getting all that crap out of the attic. Dragging boxes out of their non-holiday nursing home wasn’t such a big deal 20 years and 30 pounds ago. It wasn’t my favorite activity even then, but I could generally haul the goods in less than 15 minutes without […]
1. Avoid social interactions with questionable relatives. Yes, you do have to offer an initial greeting to everyone that you see, this is only polite, but your line of responsibility ends there. Once you have achieved this basic fake show of happiness that you have seen them once […]
Little Sally: “Are we really supposed to eat that? It looks like roadkill.” Little Billy: “I know it’s not pretty. But it’s only a month until Christmas and you know what that means.” Little Sally: “That there will be another one of these dead birds on the table?” […]
Marceline: “Okay, help me understand why I’m posing like this?” Photographer: “I have no idea. They just give me the assignment and I try to make it happen. Don’t judge.” Marceline: “But what’s my motivation in this scene?” Photographer: “This is not a scene, Sweetie. It’s just a […]
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