Tag: Joan Crawford

Past Imperfect – #297

Joan: “Oh, my lover, you excite me so.” Cliff: “Really? That’s news to me. I’ve seen stronger signs of life at a mortuary.” Joan: “Oh, silly, this is such a romantic setting. How could I not be in the mood?” Cliff: “Romantic? This is a fake park bench […]

Past Imperfect – #403

Mary Pickford: “I’m sorry, what did you say?” Mirror: “I said that you really shouldn’t leave the house wearing such a mess. Especially if you plan to flop your hands around like that. You’re not six years old anymore, honey.” Mary: “But I’m America’s Sweetheart!” Mirror: “Well, you […]

Past Imperfect – #216

Producer: “I just want to know what drugs you were taking when you came up with this promo shot. Because I want to make sure that I never take them myself.” PR Consultant: “But, isn’t this movie about a lost Italian princess who falls in love with Frosty […]

Past Imperfect – #220

Joan: “Do you think the tree is a bit much?” Alfred: “I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you over the crackling sounds of the plastic you insist be on these couches.” Joan: “The tree, darling. Is it overdone?” Alfred: “Compared to your acting? No.” Joan: “What could you possibly […]

Past Imperfect – #35

The excited starlets study the publicity shot, and dissatisfaction ensues… Dorothy, left: “Why does my head seem to be photo-shopped before Photo Shop was invented? I look like a jacked-up Pez dispenser. And this gown does absolutely nothing for my hope chest. I put a lot of money […]

Past Imperfect – #472

Joan: “Look, I understand that you are upset, but there is absolutely no reason for you to be shoving your hand anywhere near my bosom. You’re not a casting director.” Cliff: “No, you don’t understand. I have been in the kitchen all day, sweating my ass off and […]

Past Imperfect – #417

Bette: “Hmm. Just as I suspected, the gardener did not trim the begonias as I instructed.” Joan: “How on Earth can you be thinking about flowers at a time like this? You are keeping me prisoner in this house as we both struggle through a movie script that […]

Past Imperfect – #318

Marjorie: “It says right here in your contract that no scenes will be filmed unless your face is properly lit.” Joan: “And why would you have an issue with that? Seems fair to me, since you’re just a supporting player and I’m the star.” Marjorie: “You are not […]

Past Imperfect – #319

On the set of Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte… Joan Crawford: “Bob, we really need to talk.” Robert Aldrich: “What is it now, Joan? Was the caviar on the craft services table not stellar enough?” Joan: “Very funny. No, you need to talk to the people who are doing […]