Tag: Joan Crawford

Past Imperfect – #216

Producer: “I just want to know what drugs you were taking when you came up with this promo shot. Because I want to make sure that I never take them myself.” PR Consultant: “But, isn’t this movie about a lost Italian princess who falls in love with Frosty […]

Past Imperfect – #220

Joan: “Do you think the tree is a bit much?” Alfred: “I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you over the crackling sounds of the plastic you insist be on these couches.” Joan: “The tree, darling. Is it overdone?” Alfred: “Compared to your acting? No.” Joan: “What could you possibly […]

Past Imperfect – #35

The excited starlets study the publicity shot, and dissatisfaction ensues… Dorothy, left: “Why does my head seem to be photo-shopped before Photo Shop was invented? I look like a jacked-up Pez dispenser. And this gown does absolutely nothing for my hope chest. I put a lot of money […]

Past Imperfect – #472

Joan: “Look, I understand that you are upset, but there is absolutely no reason for you to be shoving your hand anywhere near my bosom. You’re not a casting director.” Cliff: “No, you don’t understand. I have been in the kitchen all day, sweating my ass off and […]

Past Imperfect – #417

Bette: “Hmm. Just as I suspected, the gardener did not trim the begonias as I instructed.” Joan: “How on Earth can you be thinking about flowers at a time like this? You are keeping me prisoner in this house as we both struggle through a movie script that […]

Past Imperfect – #318

Marjorie: “It says right here in your contract that no scenes will be filmed unless your face is properly lit.” Joan: “And why would you have an issue with that? Seems fair to me, since you’re just a supporting player and I’m the star.” Marjorie: “You are not […]

Past Imperfect – #319

On the set of Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte… Joan Crawford: “Bob, we really need to talk.” Robert Aldrich: “What is it now, Joan? Was the caviar on the craft services table not stellar enough?” Joan: “Very funny. No, you need to talk to the people who are doing […]

Past Imperfect – #134

She changed her name from Lucille LeSueur (rather pleasant sounding, one would think, even if it does make some folks think of canned peas) to Joan Crawford (which is not pleasant at all, hinting of a matronly official who is not pleased about anything). Then she posed for […]

Past Imperfect – #317

Joan: “What do you mean you won’t allow me to check in to this hotel?” Desk Clerk: “We have a strict policy against letting people into the building with eyebrows that are bigger than the Chrysler Building. It’s a structural issue, and we can’t jeopardize the safety of […]