It wasn’t until this precise moment that Katharine realized she might have erred slightly in selecting an outfit that would entice her betrothed on their wedding night. It didn’t help matters that newly-minted hubby immediately dialed 911 even though the system hadn’t been invented yet. Still, the show […]
Katharine: “Mirror, mirror, not on the wall, will I get the part in that movie with the hottie named Spencer?” Big Mirror: “Why, certainly. You have impeccable credentials, your acting is superb, and both you and the Spencer hottie need to quell certain rumors about your fluid sexual […]
Another one from the archives which now has a more prescient tone. Funny how old blog posts can work that way… Tony, left: “After this shoot, I’m never complaining again about how long it takes any of my wives to get ready for dinner at Andre’s.” Jack, right: […]
Cary: “So, did you sneak in the hacksaw so I can cut through these bars and blow this joint?” Katharine: “I might have. Or maybe I didn’t. You need to answer some questions first.” Cary: “I got nothin’ else to do in here except hope that I don’t […]
Amazon Operator: “How may I direct your call?” Katharine: “I need to speak with someone about my order.” Operator: “May I ask about the nature of your concern?” Katharine: “They sent me the wrong thing, that’s my concern.” Operator: “I see. And what were you expecting to get?” […]
Dean Stockwell, left: “Dad, what’s up with that huge book on your desk?” Ralph Richardson, center: “It doesn’t matter. What’s important is that I give this bottle of hooch to your brother.” Jason Robards, right: “Thanks, Dad! You’re pretty swell, even if your existence torments me.” Dean: “But […]
Monty, lower: “Thank you for using our Touchless Delivery Service.” Kate, upper: “As if I had any choice. This wretched caramba-virus has made a mess of things.” Monty: “It’s corona.” Kate: “What! I didn’t order any beer. How absurd. I have never stooped to such levels of depravity […]
Note: Change the pronouns around however you like to fit the dynamics of your own relationship. This is an equal-opportunity whine-fest, and all variations of love are fully embraced here at Bonnywood Manor. 1. He changes the car radio right in the middle of a song that […]
Katharine, left: “Let’s make something perfectly clear. I’m the one who gets to sleep with everybody in this boarding house. Not you. Understood?” Ginger, right: “Actually, no. Why do you get all the dibs around here? We both have the same equipment and we both have bills to […]
1. Do not tell people that you are my beloved until this has been fully discussed between us and official documents have been signed. Likewise, do not update your relationship status on any social media app without the proper coordination. This is something that we should do together, […]
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