Tag: LGBT

Past Imperfect – #309

Mary Pickford, left: “What do you mean this doesn’t look realistic?” Douglas Fairbanks, right: “We’re supposed to be looking like the typical American family so the people in Kansas will identify with us and go see our movies. How does any of this say any of that?” Mary: […]

Past Imperfect – #301

Alice, left: “Sister Girl, what the hell are you doing?” Marceline, right: “I’m singing a song about the joys of being a woman in America.” Alice: “Then why do you sound like the milk truck just ran over the cat?” Marceline: “Well, I’m trying to be uplifting, but […]

Past Imperfect – #484

Carole: “Darling, how thoughtful of you. I’ve always wanted my own personal callus remover. You think of everything.” Darling: “Actually, I didn’t think of everything. I forgot to call you downstairs when it was time to open presents. Christmas was nearly a month ago.” Carole: “Really? I hadn’t […]

Past Imperfect – #485

Boris: “Don’t you think it’s time we took the Christmas tree down?” Ginger: “Oh, heavens no! Can’t you see that Fluffy really likes living in it? Where will he sleep without the tree?” Boris: “Fluffy is a piñata that we got in Guadalajara when we were watching all […]

Past Imperfect – #91

The college professor clicked a button and the photo appeared on the screen behind him. He addressed the class before him. “Today, we will learn about the variability of perception. How surfaces can inadvertently lie, which can then lead to lies maliciously surfacing. Tell me your first impressions. […]

Past Imperfect – #304

Buster: “Why are you looking at me like that?” Marceline: “Don’t be simple. Is there something you need to tell me?” Buster: “I can’t imagine what. I share everything with you. You’re my best friend.” Marceline: “Not everything. I found your stash of pornography involving carnal mimes.” Buster: […]

Past Imperfect – #160

Tea Party Handbook – Manly Edition, Section 42, Clause B: “This is the proper position that your wife should assume when you arrive at home after a long day of doing everything you can to ensure that white, conservative, misogynistic men rule the planet. She is not allowed […]