1. There’s really no reason to leave the house for 72 hours. None. Getting out in this mess is just not worth it. Yes, you might save a few bucks, and who doesn’t want to do that right now. But the side-effects of venturing forth into the madness […]
Howdy, Clam Bakers. After the excitement of last week’s bake (guest speakers! Elderberry wine! Salami-grasping!), tonight’s campfire will be more subdued. I was in the midst of some digital housekeeping this afternoon, trying to figure out what’s in all these cryptically-christened files that are apparently breeding on my […]
1. The “fake food poisoning” approach. Eat lunch at your desk, but purposely do not finish all of it. Find something odd that you can mix into the remaining food, like cough syrup or pencil shavings. Stir until the mess is completely unrecognizable, just like those dreaded casseroles […]
So, I innocently wander into the kitchen, wanting a little snack but not really sure what that might entail. I’m not dying of hunger, but I’m at that age when the simple things please me, like shoving food in my mouth when I don’t really need it. (It’s […]
Howdy, Clam Bakers. Grab a seat around the campfire and settle into your chairs. We’re trying something a little different tonight. Part of the reason for this variance is that I spent too much time today doing things I shouldn’t have (XBOX may have been involved, I’m not […]
1. “I knew there were going to be issues when they told me I had to light both ends of the baton before I could twirl it.” 2. “Does anyone have a really big truck that can haul something the size of a small elephant? Oh, and I […]
Storms have rolled in once again. This is rather annoying, because it’s near the end of July and by this time in Texas we should be done with all that mess. July and August are the months when a high-pressure cell typically plunks its ass right over the […]
Damn, I couldn’t believe it had gotten this bad so quickly. The last time I had dropped in, dragging my wheeled picnic basket, the park had been filled with people, many dots of color, the smaller ones dashing about and scream-giggling, the larger ones more controlled, lounging on […]
Note: This was a personal mea culpa to my friend Laura, who I done did wrong one day… Prosecuting Attorney Lowena Purvis cleared her throat rather demonstratively, an attention-getting device she had perfected while studying law at Beaver Valley Community College in Syracuse. This effort at guttural domination […]
1. The inability to think. It’s hard to concentrate when your eyeballs are sizzling in your skull. When you’re sitting there in the car with your partner, trying not to move because merely blinking your eyes can cause you to break out into a sweat, even with the […]
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