Buster: “Why are you looking at me like that?” Marceline: “Don’t be simple. Is there something you need to tell me?” Buster: “I can’t imagine what. I share everything with you. You’re my best friend.” Marceline: “Not everything. I found your stash of pornography involving carnal mimes.” Buster: […]
Tea Party Handbook – Manly Edition, Section 42, Clause B: “This is the proper position that your wife should assume when you arrive at home after a long day of doing everything you can to ensure that white, conservative, misogynistic men rule the planet. She is not allowed […]
I tried to wash that man right out of my hair, just like the song says, but I ran into a few complications. One, I couldn’t find the right shampoo at Walgreen’s. (Exactly what ingredient should you look for? Essence of Man-Gone? Botanical Banishment? Pregnancy-Scare Prunes?) Somebody really […]
Delilah was in a woeful state, plagued by many troubling issues. She had recently lost her job due to a misunderstanding about the proper time for alcohol consumption. She had lost her favorite boyfriend because she didn’t realize that she was only supposed to have one. And most […]
Note: This is one from the archives, which explains the datedness of the movie in question, but the rest of the song remains the same and still applies… A mere week ago, I babbled in the previous “Sunday in the Park” that I hadn’t been to an […]
Sadie: “I suppose I could do that. How much are you willing to pay me?” Nigel: “I didn’t say anything about paying you.” Sadie: “Then I didn’t say anything about doing it.” Nigel: “But I have leverage on you, my dear. I know what you did with that […]
Man on the Left: “I do believe someone is trying to get your attention.” Woman on the Right: “And I do believe I’m trying to ignore her.” Hair in the Middle: “Darling, you can’t ignore me. I run this place, and it’s my responsibility to make sure that […]
Cyd, left: “Fred, how many times have I told you to wear tighter pants? Your amazingly muscular butt gets lost in that flour-sack abomination.” Fred, right: “Are we really talking about this right now? Just as I’m about to hurl you in the air for a triple-flip and […]
As we settle into the new year, I thought it might be festive to resurrect a series which has been unforgivably neglected for a while, one wherein the spotlight is wrenched from yours truly and shone glowingly in the direction of a fellow blogger who fascinates me. […]
Note: I thought it might be at least mildly interesting to take my quasi-resolution list from exactly three years ago in 2017 and provide updates, if necessary, that may or may not have any value whatsoever. (As such, please excuse any dated references that no longer apply.) Enjoy. […]
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