Jean: “Excuse me, Mr. Photographer Man, but what are we trying to accomplish here?” Photographer: “Well, as the newest spokesmodel for Bonnywood Manor, you’re here to do your Public Relations magic and keep the blogging worlds aligned in a satisfactory manner.” Jean: “I don’t really recall signing up […]
The ducks seemed to have reached an impasse, both physically and spiritually… Pablo de Pato, bottom: “But why won’t you join me on the dark side? Ducky Bob: “Because it is the dark side, Pablo. You do wretched things and no one seems very happy about it. […]
Reporter: “Excuse me, but I’m looking for Brian of Bonnywood.” Jean: “Oh. Well, you won’t find him here.” Reporter: “But my sources tell me that Brian is staying at this villa while he’s in Spain. Did I make a wrong turn somewhere?” Jean: “Honey, we all make wrong […]
And so it was that we found ourselves in Amsterdam, a city full of very interesting and liberal entertainment choices. We spent the first day taking advantage of many of those opportunities. (No, not that one, for those in the know. Nothing against it, mind you, but we […]
1. Thank you for choosing to fly with us today. 2. You know, it’s proper etiquette that you knock before you just barge in here. 3. What are your thoughts on public nudity? 4. Did you know that serial killers really like to push buttons that light up? […]
On the movie set, preparing for Take 107. Bette, on the left: “I don’t know how much more of this I can stand. They’ve got me trussed up like Heidi in a methadone clinic, the entire script is only two pages, and the amount of testosterone in this […]
Howdy, partners. We’re stumbling off in a different direction with this “Park”, and I forswear that I will keep things short and tidy, a promise that we all know is a lie as I simply lack the ability to arrive at my point in an expedient manner and […]
Theresa, left: “You could have told me that the window was open. If I had known that, I wouldn’t have slapped my lover and he wouldn’t have fallen out of it.” Barbara, right: “That’s your own personal issue. I have problems of my own. Like this damn skirt […]
This little holiday doesn’t have quite as much going for it, unlike the flashier Thanksgiving and Christmas spectaculars, filled as they are with rituals like massive feasts and drunken relatives bickering over stupid things. Basically, May Day involves flowers and people prancing around a stripper pole. That’s about […]
The next day, all of the speaker boxes in Row Two were in mourning, as one of their own had been felled. The night before, a truck full of rednecks from Pawhuska had failed to roll down their window and disengage the audio contraption as they were leaving, […]
Recent Comments