Mirror: “Wow, that’s never happened to me before.” Jennifer Aniston’s Grandmother: “Are you talking about the crack?” Mirror: “Well, if you mean the break in my glass and not the recreational activity happening in the other room, then yes.” JAG: “Hmm. I’m sure it’s not your fault. Mirrors […]
Here we go again, folks, with another opportunity for you to seize the moment and interpret the goings-on in a random photo. In this particular case, I thought it would be festive to attempt a simulation of what I go through when I create all those “Past Imperfect” […]
On the set of “Hush, Hush, Sweet Charlotte”, 1964… Joan Crawford: “Bob, we really need to talk.” Robert Aldrich: “What is it now, Joan? Was the caviar on the craft services table not stellar enough?” Joan: “Very funny. No, you need to talk to the people who […]
1. You wake up in the morning and you aren’t really sure who you are. You crack the seal on one eye and look around. Something seems to have disturbed your slumber, but it’s not really clear. After perusing a few questionable things around you (Did I really […]
Gary: “Is that someone at the door? Are you expecting anyone?” Ann: “Of course not. I have no idea who it is. And I didn’t sleep with the vacuum cleaner salesman.” Gary: “That seems like a lot of information to share when a simple ‘no’ would have been […]
Edmund: “Here we go, love. Smile for the cameraman.” Millie: “I’m so excited to be going on our honeymoon!” Edmund: “Me as well. We finally get to consummate our relationship, my poodle.” Millie: “Well, about that. It won’t be happening.” Edmund: “But we’ve just gotten married, precious. We […]
I was innocently doing my daily trolling through the blogosphere the other day when I happened upon a missive from Jessica at “Branches” entitled “Five Things You Should Read/Watch/Listen To If You Want to Understand Me”. Firstly, I thought that was a great, intriguing idea. (Limit yourself to […]
A study in double entendres from the archives, wherein everyone is saying one thing and meaning another… Noel began to wonder if his marriage was on the rocks once his wife began to taunt him with smoking implements during breakfast. Naturally, this prospect initially troubled him, as […]
Prison Matron, left: “Now, Dottie, is this really a proper way for you to behave?” Dottie: “I don’t care! I’m sick to death of you bringing me the same lousy food on the same lousy tray ever y day.” Matron: “Well, Dottie, I didn’t actually make the lousy […]
1. You wake up with a hangover even though you had nothing to drink the night before. It’s a fascinating biological phenomenon. Your head hurts, your mouth is dry and there’s a weird bruise in a surprising place. It takes all the strength you have just to reach […]
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