Lucy: “Oh, look at this. There’s a huge pile of photographers over there, something you promised wouldn’t happen if we flew economy to Palm Springs Airport.” Desi: “Now, now, mi bambina. I can’t control everything. Don’t get so agitated. Sometimes I swear you’re more Latina than I am.” […]
1. Some like it hot. These folks reach in, turn the hot-water tap to ultra-gusher, completely ignore the cold-water tap, and then leave the settings like this for the entire three-hour tour. Now, I generally like to wash away my sins as well as anyone, but I […]
Cary: “There we go. Don’t you feel much better now that I’ve dried your hair?” Rita: “Actually, yes. Your fingers are manly but gentle, and you certainly know how to soak up moisture that doesn’t belong to you. But I do have one question.” Cary: “Ask away, and […]
Edward, left: “The aroma of this cognac is delicious. How delightful of you to offer such a treat.” Josephine, center: “It doesn’t smell like poison at all, does it?” Jean, right: “Josie, you fool. He’s going to get suspicious if you keep talking like that.” Edward: “Actually, I’m […]
Cary: “You know, there are rumors about me being gay, especially when it comes to playing slap and tickle with a certain roommate I had back in the day.” Jimmy: “Well, there are rumors about me refusing to play slap and tickle with certain socialites with far too […]
Monty: “Are you okay? You seem to be a bit distraught.” Lizzie: “I’m fine. I’ve just been thinking about things and I’m a little blue.” Monty: “Ah, so you’re aware of it as well. The stylist has given you entirely too much volume for the time period of […]
Let’s eavesdrop on the students at the Barbizon School for Women, starting far left: Starlet #1: “I know that we’re supposed to be doing modeling exercises, but I had far too many Harvey Wallbangers last night, as well as a few Harveys, and I really need to just […]
Leslie, left: “My dearest wish is that you understand how much I care for you. You are my pearl, my endless delight, my everything.” Bette: “Well, I’ve got a few wishes of my own. Three of them, actually. First, somebody needs to speak to you about halitosis. It’s […]
Ernie: “Well, would you look at that. Those fancy Hollywood reporters are following us into the woods cuz they think we’re somethin’ special.” Addie Mae: “Sugar, they ain’t reporters. Them are dentists lookin’ for some revenue cuz Obamacare says they got to do some actual work if they […]
Joan: “Look, I understand that you are upset, but there is absolutely no reason for you to be shoving your hand anywhere near my bosom. You’re not a casting director.” Cliff: “No, you don’t understand. I have been in the kitchen all day, sweating my ass off and […]
Bonnywood Manor 
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