Jane: “I feel compelled to report an issue with my accommodations.” Hairaldo: “You look like you are compelled about a lot of things. And why is your dress stapled to your bosom?” Jane: “That’s not important. I didn’t sleep well at all last night.” Hairaldo: “Did you remember […]
Butler: “Madame, will you be requiring any more of my services this evening?” Greta: “Really, Mauritz? Does it look like I’m satisfied with how this night has been going?” Butler/Mauritz: “Well, you do seem a bit ‘Jerry Springer’. How may I assist?” Greta: “Let’s start with this unlit […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Smack Their Gum as If It’s the Only Thing Keeping Them Alive, “Thank you for joining us on this sixth night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. Before we introduce our next 3-Word Challenge participant, I’d like to remind […]
Alfred was appalled at Tallulah’s suggestion that he didn’t know how to properly direct this scene. Tallulah was appalled that only one rose had been delivered to her dressing room. The script supervisor was appalled that Tallulah thought her outfit was fetching in any way; with markings like […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Just Show Up for the Free Booze, Thank you for joining us here at Bonnywood for our Annual Cultural Arts Festival and Bacchanalia. To kick off this evening’s events, we’ll be reviewing the first submission in our esteemed 3-Word Challenge, an […]
Tallulah was thoroughly unimpressed with her assigned role when the cast was announced for the 1925 London premiere of “A Yankee Thanksgiving: This Is What Happens When You Defy a British Monarch and Hop on a Boat Bound for a Colony That Has No Indoor Plumbing”. The play […]
Whoopi: “Hello?” Voice: “Yes, could I speak to the lady of the house?” Whoopi: “We don’t have a lady of the house. We have a wretched, spoiled woman with no soul or sense of shame.” Voice: “Perfect! That’s just the type of person that interests me.” Wretched Woman, […]
Andrea de Voluptua, reporting live from the scene: “I’m here at Esparza’s Mexican Restaurant, formerly known as Guero’s prior to yet another insipid corporate takeover, where police officials confirm that someone has done something they shouldn’t have. It’s not really clear what crime has been committed because details […]
Cherub on the Left: “What the hell is she doing?” Cherub on the Right: “By the looks of it, orgasming.” Left: “From just a spritz? We should all be so lucky. I wonder what’s in the bottle?” Right: “Whatever it is, I’m sure it doesn’t smell like her […]
Fred, left: “I’m sorry to intrude, but I just found these undergarments in the hallway, and I thought I might inquire as to whether or not you might wish to claim ownership.” Melvyn, center: “Good God, man. Why so many words? Couldn’t you have just asked ‘are these […]
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