1. There’s really no reason to leave the house for 72 hours. None. Getting out in this mess is just not worth it. Yes, you might save a few bucks, and who doesn’t want to do that right now. But the side-effects of venturing forth into the madness […]
Howdy, Clam Bakers. After the excitement of last week’s bake (guest speakers! Elderberry wine! Salami-grasping!), tonight’s campfire will be more subdued. I was in the midst of some digital housekeeping this afternoon, trying to figure out what’s in all these cryptically-christened files that are apparently breeding on my […]
Here at the Neurotica Café, we offer a full dining experience to ensure that you have the most emotionally-appropriate meal you have ever had. We accept all major credit cards and most insurance plans. Reservations are strongly suggested, both mentally and physically. 1. The Passive-Aggressive Patty Melt […]
The First Rule in Attracting a Decent Mate: Do not appear in settings where the wallpaper can overpower your mere existence. They have enough trouble finding you as it is. Harriet, left: “You fool, you went two steps too far before pausing to be noticed by the crowd. […]
It appears that someone on the Admissions Staff at Saint Bernadette’s School for Chaste and Modest Girls made a slight error. Sister Ecclesiasta Mae had something to say about that. “How in Heaven’s glowing name did all of these scoundrels get in here?” Sister Ruthina Anastasia did not […]
Exhibit A: Richard Harris – “MacArthur Park” Mom was working at St. John’s Hospital in Tulsa, Oklahoma at the time. As everyone in the medical profession knows, hospital shifts involve some jacked-up hours, and I vaguely recall that Mom had to report at 6am. (This may be a […]
In the last Clam Bake, I had a rather swell time sifting through old comments and cultivating some of the jewels. So, to somewhat continue the trend, with this Clam I’ll be sharing some of my responses to what others have written, both here and on their own […]
As I sit here at my writing desk (otherwise known as “that place where good intentions rarely come to fruition”), and the titular candle is crackling away whilst my mind is not, two feeble thoughts have managed to weakly spark in my cranium: One, it’s been a while […]
We start out with some skeezy-looking girl waking up in a bathtub, and it’s clear that she’s not really sure where she might be. (Don’t start judging at this point. If you have any sense of adventure, there’s been at least one time when you’ve snoozed in a […]
Violet’s passion for her lover was strong, and she only felt whole when he was near. Him, not so much…
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