Later that night, the sisters at Saint Expulsia’s Convent of Cloistered Celibates were unable to sleep, probably because someone had put just a little too much sugar in the tapioca pudding served at the Chastity Dinner earlier that night. Bored and vibrating, they gathered in Sister Socialita’s spartan […]
Left to right… George: “Pray tell me, fellow Unbobble Heads, what am I looking at down there? Is that one of those orange-topped warthogs I read about in National Spyrographic?” Tom: “Uh, no. Wrong species, but close. That’s a Trump.” Teddy: “A trump? What the hell is that? […]
This is how one turns to a life of crime and indiscretion: When your older sisters force you to wear ridiculous costumes and then torment you further by laughing uproariously, despite their inability to arrange Grandma Bennett’s heirloom china in a proper table setting. The day will come, […]
Note: I’ve missed the anniversary date by a few days, but five years ago, late on the night before an anticipated ruling by the Supreme Court that could potentially change the concept of equality in America, I scribbled out this little parable, with fingers crossed… Mommy: “The end. […]
Note: Another one from the archives, this time involving a personal mea culpa to my friend Laura, who I done did wrong one day… Prosecuting Attorney Lowena Purvis cleared her throat rather demonstratively, an attention-getting device she had perfected while studying law at Beaver Valley Community College in […]
House #1: “I really don’t like the house to my left. Somebody up in there plays the Zydeco music like Jesus is coming every night. They leave crap in their backyard that really just needs to be thrown in a dumpster. And what the hell are they doing […]
Just some random silliness disguised as an actual blog post… 1. Splurch The wet spot on your car seat caused by squirting too much sanitizer into your hand and drippage occurs. 2. Ookybits The dead skin cells that start flaking off your hands due to overuse of sanitizer […]
Note to the newer guests at Bonnywood who aren’t aware of this questionable predilection of mine: I scribble out twisted music video reviews on another one of my (somewhat dormant) sites. This is an example of such. I don’t share them very often on this blog as these […]
Hey, Folks. Care to join me around the Bonnywood campfire once again? Of course you do, or you wouldn’t have stopped by to see what’s going on. But before you plop your ass down, be sure to squeeze out the seat cushion. It’s been raining for the last […]
I understand that some of our fellow travelers don’t quite grasp the instructional signage they may encounter whilst driving to their therapist. Let me help you out with that. 1. YIELD This means that you are not the priority in this situation. Other people temporarily have more authority, […]
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