Carole: “Darling, how thoughtful of you. I’ve always wanted my own personal callus remover. You think of everything.” Darling: “Actually, I didn’t think of everything. I forgot to call you downstairs when it was time to open presents. Christmas was nearly a month ago.” Carole: “Really? I hadn’t […]
Once upon a time, as a companion piece to my “Backup Dancers From Hell” blog, I had a side project entitled “Typos From Hell”, wherein I would slightly alter the title of a popular song and then come up with a fake promotional bit for that violated title. […]
Tea Party Handbook – Manly Edition, Section 42, Clause B: “This is the proper position that your wife should assume when you arrive at home after a long day of doing everything you can to ensure that white, conservative, misogynistic men rule the planet. She is not allowed […]
I tried to wash that man right out of my hair, just like the song says, but I ran into a few complications. One, I couldn’t find the right shampoo at Walgreen’s. (Exactly what ingredient should you look for? Essence of Man-Gone? Botanical Banishment? Pregnancy-Scare Prunes?) Somebody really […]
Delilah was in a woeful state, plagued by many troubling issues. She had recently lost her job due to a misunderstanding about the proper time for alcohol consumption. She had lost her favorite boyfriend because she didn’t realize that she was only supposed to have one. And most […]
Note: This is one from the archives, which explains the datedness of the movie in question, but the rest of the song remains the same and still applies… A mere week ago, I babbled in the previous “Sunday in the Park” that I hadn’t been to an […]
As we settle into the new year, I thought it might be festive to resurrect a series which has been unforgivably neglected for a while, one wherein the spotlight is wrenched from yours truly and shone glowingly in the direction of a fellow blogger who fascinates me. […]
Note: I thought it might be at least mildly interesting to take my quasi-resolution list from exactly three years ago in 2017 and provide updates, if necessary, that may or may not have any value whatsoever. (As such, please excuse any dated references that no longer apply.) Enjoy. […]
Note: I’ve linked to this post several times, so some of you may have already seen it, but I haven’t fully shared it in a long while. Despite the melancholy tone in most of this post, I need the uplifting message at the end, especially on this day […]
At first glance, it appeared that Frankie was merely walking across the kitchen toward the back door. On closer inspection, there were obvious signs he was mobilizing in that overly-relaxed saunter used universally by young men who are trying to appear nonchalant as they attempt to slip away […]
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