Past Imperfect – #46
Violet’s passion for her lover was strong, and she only felt whole when he was near. Him, not so much…
Past Imperfect – #42
Her name was Lola, she was a showgirl, with yellow feathers in her hair and a dress cut down to… wait a minute. Where are the feathers? Where’s the DRESS? Something is clearly amiss in Gotham City, and we must find out more. Let’s eavesdrop on the scene […]
10 Reasons Why the Morning after Your Memorial Day Party Can Be Frightening
1. Who are all these strange people sleeping on your couches? Granted, some of them look a little familiar, so they could actually be invited guests who decided they might not be in the best condition to get on the nation’s highways. But it’s hard to tell. Let’s […]
10 Reasons Why the “American Idol” Auditions Were Just Like Real Life
Note: I realize the show has moved on to a higher plane, but the life lessons still remain. Fair warning: This one has a bit more acid than I normally let leak out… 1. People don’t know how to behave in crowds. Any time you get more than […]
10 Completely Random Things I Learned While Sucking Down Margaritas at Ojeda’s
1. It’s hard to make a grand entrance at the restaurant when obnoxious people are blocking your way. Okay, Mr. Speed Bump, I understand that the 47 pounds of spicy, fried lard that you just ate might slow you down a bit. Got it. But seriously, why are […]
Past Imperfect – #419
Clark: “I just realized something.” Claudette: “That I’m trapped in the gravitational pull of one of your giant ears?” Clark: “Look, I warned you about those things. Don’t get too close unless you’re firmly tied to a boat anchor.” Claudette: “But I am. I’m latched to what’s left […]
Friday Night Clam Bake – #6: Random Couplings of an Irrational Sort
Note: Let’s do a cross-over episode, shall we? Lanae the receptionist hung up the phone and turned to look at the lone woman sitting in the waiting room. “Granny Mae, the doctor is ready and you can go on back now.” Granny Mae turned to look at the […]
The Plumbing Incident – Part 5: Decadence, Destruction and Denouement
To read this tragic tale from the beginning, click here. A few days after my Norma Rae incident on the front stoop, there is a jackhammer attacking my innocent driveway. (“Why do you want to hurt me when I’ve done nothing to you?” asks said driveway. “Because […]
The Plumbing Incident – Part 4: This is the Spawning of the Age of Nefarious
To read this tragic tale from the beginning, click here. The dinner party was a success, despite the constant threat of our poo spilling into the neighborhood. The above sentence frightens me on a number of psychological levels. One, it’s a true statement. That alone indicates an […]
The Plumbing Incident – Part 3: Things Get Shoved in Odd Places
To read this tragic tale from the beginning, click here. So Terry is back on the horn with the Mob Boss contractor guy. Mob Man is amazed that the singing plumbers would leave without fixing the problem. (Why would we make this up? Did he think we […]
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