The crime scene investigator was extremely puzzled as he reviewed this image captured by a security camera. At first glance, it did appear that the woman dancing on the desk was probably responsible for the corpse currently in the county morgue, and the primitive but heavy cast on […]
Click here to peruse the first part of this story… Amazingly, the confession session with Mom did not turn out to be nearly as brutal as I had anticipated. After all, in the previous fifteen minutes, I had bellowed rude and hateful things, stomped away in anger […]
Once upon a time, my family had a woody. (How’s that for a vague but potentially questionable opening line?) In the interests of fair disclosure and the avoidance of retroactive investigations by Child Protective Services, I should point out that the “woody” in this case refers to a […]
Gary: “What did you just say?” Charlton: “I said I’m gonna get top billing in this movie no matter what it takes.” Gary: “So you’re coming at me with a shovel? Holding it like that? What are you gonna do, tap me on the forehead with it? If […]
Note: This is an excerpt from another book-in-progress, one concerning a family cruise in the Caribbean. All you really need to know is that Tiffany is my best friend, Terry is my partner, and things can get steamy in the heat of a tropical sun… Now, let’s […]
Dear Guests, Patrons and People Who Would Much Rather Be Anywhere Else but They’ve Already Paid for Their Tickets and They Might as Well Get Some Free Shrimp Dip Out of It, “Thank you for joining us on yet another night of Bonnywood’s Annual Cultural Arts Festival […]
Anna May: “I’m sorry, I was momentarily distracted by my own perkiness and I didn’t quite catch what you were saying. Could you repeat it, please?” Police Officer: “I said that you seem awfully chipper considering we just found the famous movie producer, Irving Hindenburg, floating in the […]
Tour Guide: “And over here, boys and girls, we have the Charles F. Nelson house.” Little Billy: “Who cares.” Little Andy: “My juice box is empty.” Little Sally: “I gotta pee.” Tour Guide: “It’s one of the most famous houses in Olalla, Washington.” Little Billy: “Why? Did somebody […]
Detective: “Do you know why we called you down to the station?” Woman: “I have no idea. Is this something to do with the parking tickets? I really did mean to pay them, but I get distracted easily. I lived in Montana for a while and that messes […]
Note: Another snippet from the work-in-progress for NaNoWriMo, a twisted bit concerning a family cruise in the Caribbean. For background filler on this one, you should know that my youngest sister, Roni, endured two massive strokes in her early Twenties, leaving her partially paralyzed. This sounds grim, and […]
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