Tag: New Orleans

Past Imperfect – #161

Mardi Gras in the French Quarter of New Orleans, the morning after. Some would call it “Ash Wednesday”, but there was no one awake to make that call. (The two people you can see don’t count. They have been wandering the streets all night in search of their […]

Past Imperfect – #347

Becky Thatcher: “I sure as hell ain’t goin’ up there.” Tom Sawyer: “But Huck said all the answers we ever wanted is at the top of those stairs.” Becky: “Huck is a twit. That’s what he gets for runnin’ around barefoot all the time. The stupid just sucks […]

Past Imperfect – #133

Melva, far left: “Well, I do declare. Look at that mess over there!” Gertrude, middlin’ left: “Honey, this is New Awlins. We got mess everywhere. Which one you talkin’ ‘bout?” Melva: “Right there in front of your dadgum eyes, woman. You go off and leave you spectacles back […]

Past Imperfect – #142

House #1: “I really don’t like the house to my left. Somebody up in there plays the Zydeco music like Jesus is coming every night. They leave crap in their backyard that really just needs to be thrown in a dumpster. And what the hell are they doing […]

The Corona Chronology: Day 35

Monty, lower: “Thank you for using our Touchless Delivery Service.” Kate, upper: “As if I had any choice. This wretched caramba-virus has made a mess of things.” Monty: “It’s corona.” Kate: “What! I didn’t order any beer. How absurd. I have never stooped to such levels of depravity […]

Past Imperfect – #199

With the introduction of the Otis Autotronic Elevator on Tulane Street in New Orleans, Bridgette was hired as a spokesperson to allay the fears of the local citizenry that placing your faith in a moving metal box could lead to debauchery and Democratic-voting. Sadly, Bridgette was unable to […]

Past Imperfect – #221

Nun #1: “Do you ever wonder, Sister Mary Margaret Mary Marie, why the archbishop assigned us to New Orleans? Out of all the places he could choose?” Nun #2: “I’ve never questioned it, Sister Mary Margaret Magdalena Macarena Hey Macarena. God guides the archbishop, and he guides us.” […]

Past Imperfect – #219

Old Absinthe Sign: “I am so tired of all these tourists in the French Quarter.” Bienville Street Sign: “Seriously? You’ve been here over two hundred years and you haven’t learned how to deal with it yet?” Absinthe: “You don’t understand. All these grimy rednecks come staggering in here, […]