Tag: New Orleans

Past Imperfect – #195

Driver #909: “Heads up, #937. Whatever you do, don’t pick up a guy wearing a Dallas Cowboys t-shirt and a belt buckle the size of a Buick. He’s smashed on hurricanes and hollering some crazy nonsense about Texas becoming its own country.  Nobody cares but he won’t shut […]

Past Imperfect – #221

Nun #1: “Do you ever wonder, Sister Mary Margaret Mary Marie, why the archbishop assigned us to New Orleans? Out of all the places he could choose?” Nun #2: “I’ve never questioned it, Sister Mary Margaret Magdalena Macarena Hey Macarena. God guides the archbishop, and he guides us.” […]

Past Imperfect – #231

Despite the best efforts of the hotel staff, word somehow got out that Warren Beatty was staying at the Pontchartrain Royale and a few of his possibly illegitimate offspring showed up seeking child support. In the room next to his, Carly Simon writes a thinly-disguised song about the […]

Past Imperfect – #219

Old Absinthe Sign: “I am so tired of all these tourists in the French Quarter.” Bienville Street Sign: “Seriously? You’ve been here over two hundred years and you haven’t learned how to deal with it yet?” Absinthe: “You don’t understand. All these grimy rednecks come staggering in here, […]

Present Tense – #9

This is the moment when we were still happy. We were in Malaga, Spain, at the Alcazaba, which is essentially a fortified palace built in the eleventh century, and then modified for several successive centuries. (Because that’s what people did back then. Somebody would build a building, then […]

Past Imperfect – #199

With the introduction of the Otis Autotronic Elevator on Tulane Street in New Orleans, Bridgette was hired as a spokesperson to allay the fears of the local citizenry that placing your faith in a moving metal box could lead to debauchery and Democratic-voting. Sadly, Bridgette was unable to […]

Past Imperfect – #240

Ethel #1: “We got one of those fellas with a camera up in here again.” Ethel #2: “Lord sakes. What the hell do they want now?” Ethel #1: “It ain’t Christian, you can count on that.” Ethel #2: “You still got the sign in the window, right?” Ethel […]

Past Imperfect – #347

Becky: “I sure as hell ain’t goin’ up there.” Tom: “But Huck said that all the answers we ever wanted are at the top of those stairs.” Becky: “Huck is a twit. That’s what he gets for runnin’ around barefoot all the time. The stupid just sucks up […]