Tag: New Orleans

Past Imperfect – #142

House #1: “I really don’t like the house to my left. Somebody up in there plays the Zydeco music like Jesus is coming every night. They leave crap in their backyard that really just needs to be thrown in a dumpster. And what the hell are they doing […]

Past Imperfect – #427

Kim: “Now, Marlon, let’s not jump to conclusions here.” Marlon: “How can I not jump? I come home from a hard day’s work of looking sexy as hell on the streets of New Orleans and I find this!” Kim: “It’s not what you think.” Marlon: “Well, I think […]

Past Imperfect – #195

Driver #909: “Heads up, #937. Whatever you do, don’t pick up a guy wearing a Dallas Cowboys t-shirt and a belt buckle the size of a Buick. He’s smashed on hurricanes and hollering some crazy nonsense about Texas becoming its own country.  Nobody cares but he won’t shut […]

Past Imperfect – #221

Nun #1: “Do you ever wonder, Sister Mary Margaret Mary Marie, why the archbishop assigned us to New Orleans? Out of all the places he could choose?” Nun #2: “I’ve never questioned it, Sister Mary Margaret Magdalena Macarena Hey Macarena. God guides the archbishop, and he guides us.” […]

Past Imperfect – #231

Despite the best efforts of the hotel staff, word somehow got out that Warren Beatty was staying at the Pontchartrain Royale and a few of his possibly illegitimate offspring showed up seeking child support. In the room next to his, Carly Simon writes a thinly-disguised song about the […]

Past Imperfect – #219

Old Absinthe Sign: “I am so tired of all these tourists in the French Quarter.” Bienville Street Sign: “Seriously? You’ve been here over two hundred years and you haven’t learned how to deal with it yet?” Absinthe: “You don’t understand. All these grimy rednecks come staggering in here, […]

Present Tense – #9

This is the moment when we were still happy. We were in Malaga, Spain, at the Alcazaba, which is essentially a fortified palace built in the eleventh century, and then modified for several successive centuries. (Because that’s what people did back then. Somebody would build a building, then […]