Becky Thatcher: “I sure as hell ain’t goin’ up there.” Tom Sawyer: “But Huck said all the answers we ever wanted is at the top of those stairs.” Becky: “Huck is a twit. That’s what he gets for runnin’ around barefoot all the time. The stupid just sucks […]
So, I’m trying something new. [Immediately, the gathered crowd gasps. Embeecee: “What the hell? Why does he keep trying these new things that he never follows up with and it becomes a sinkhole of nothing? He should stick with what we love, the Past Imperfects, the Present Tenses, […]
House #1: “I really don’t like the house to my left. Somebody up in there plays the Zydeco music like Jesus is coming every night. They leave crap in their backyard that really just needs to be thrown in a dumpster. And what the hell are they doing […]
Kim: “Now, Marlon, let’s not jump to conclusions here.” Marlon: “How can I not jump? I come home from a hard day’s work of looking sexy as hell on the streets of New Orleans and I find this!” Kim: “It’s not what you think.” Marlon: “Well, I think […]
Driver #909: “Heads up, #937. Whatever you do, don’t pick up a guy wearing a Dallas Cowboys t-shirt and a belt buckle the size of a Buick. He’s smashed on hurricanes and hollering some crazy nonsense about Texas becoming its own country. Nobody cares but he won’t shut […]
Nun #1: “Do you ever wonder, Sister Mary Margaret Mary Marie, why the archbishop assigned us to New Orleans? Out of all the places he could choose?” Nun #2: “I’ve never questioned it, Sister Mary Margaret Magdalena Macarena Hey Macarena. God guides the archbishop, and he guides us.” […]
Despite the best efforts of the hotel staff, word somehow got out that Warren Beatty was staying at the Pontchartrain Royale and a few of his possibly illegitimate offspring showed up seeking child support. In the room next to his, Carly Simon writes a thinly-disguised song about the […]
Old Absinthe Sign: “I am so tired of all these tourists in the French Quarter.” Bienville Street Sign: “Seriously? You’ve been here over two hundred years and you haven’t learned how to deal with it yet?” Absinthe: “You don’t understand. All these grimy rednecks come staggering in here, […]
The concept: A friend of mine challenged me on Facebook to name 10 books that have stayed with me over the years. Just the title and author, move on to the next one. But since I don’t follow directions very well sometimes, I couldn’t do the short […]
This is the moment when we were still happy. We were in Malaga, Spain, at the Alcazaba, which is essentially a fortified palace built in the eleventh century, and then modified for several successive centuries. (Because that’s what people did back then. Somebody would build a building, then […]
Bonnywood Manor 
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