1. The constant nipple protrusion. When the temperature drops, my hi-beams come on. For hours at a time. And with an intensity that is mildly frightening. Some of my shirts are so lacerated at pec level that it looks like Edward Scissorhands dropped by for a drunken game […]
1. She used your middle name when screaming from another room that you needed to report to her immediately. 2. Dead silence on her end of the line when you called her at work for the twenty-seventh time in one afternoon. 3. Proclaiming at dinner that you don’t […]
Note: This list is actually from two years ago, but the song remains the same, for the most part… 1. Car manufacturers will finally develop a special button for your dashboard which, when pushed, will cause the car in front of you at the drive-thru ATM, wherein the […]
As a child, there was a stretch when I had an infatuation with fortune cookies. I was old enough to read, but young enough to readily believe in the lies that society will tell you. We didn’t go to Chinese restaurants all that often, as some of the […]
And so it was As I pondered tonight What should I post What should I write Many folks are busy With kith and with kin Anything I scribble Will hit the dust bin Unseen and forlorn Lost in the fray Of folks celebrating The spirit of […]
Circa 1975… Emily: “God, Mom. Why did you bring me here? I thought we were going shopping for Christmas presents.” Mom: “That’s exactly what we’re doing.” Emily: “But I’ve never heard of this place. So I know I don’t want anything they have.” Mom: “Well, we’re not shopping […]
Note: This bit from the archives is not necessarily a Thanksgiving story, but it does involve turkey, so I’m latching on to that and running with it… So, I innocently wander into the kitchen, wanting a little snack but not really sure what that might entail. I’m not […]
Hey, Folks. Just a quick bit to let you know where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing. I think the above photo explains it quite nicely. No? You’re not sure what the image is and there are things going on that seem odd and it’s not clear […]
1. You watch a TV show that you’re not all that interested in just because you’re too exhausted to figure out how to get to that Guide channel on the new remote that your partner keeps swapping out every two weeks. (Why must we always have new ones? […]
Hey, Folks. Quick intermission post today… In roughly 30 hours, the first election polls will start closing in America as the “official” Election Day winds down. (Over 95 million citizens have already made their choices in early voting, a record, as people get their votes locked and secured […]
Recent Comments