Cleo the Cat: “Who the hell is Elvis?” Scotch the Cat: “I don’t know. Wait, maybe I do. He’s the one who sings about a Boo Boo Christmas. I always have a boo boo Christmas. I make boo boos every day and then wait for the Magic Scoop […]
Cleo the Cat: “What the hell are we looking at?” Scotch the Cat: “Oh, that’s right. You’re new around here. I forgot. I forget a lot of things. I once forgot that if the toy-let seat is up you can’t use it as a long-ching pad to get […]
Note: After perusing the comments on the previous post, I’ve decided to resuscitate some of the Scotch stories. I’m not sure how many I’ll share, but I promise to stop just shy of everyone getting sick of yet another tale of feline follies. Enjoy. Hi Daddy, This […]
Continued from Previous Post… So anyway, I managed to survive my first attempt at emancipation relatively unscathed. I’m sure there was punishment of some kind, since there was always an intricate system of checks and balances in my childhood, especially when Dad was around. Any time you […]
Hi. My last post involved me casting 21 “reveal something about yourself” questions into the ether and waiting to see how folks would respond to such an intrusive action on my part. To be fair, I haven’t quite processed all the responses, because life happens and good intentions […]
1. “I am king of this box. And my rule will be unstoppable. Anyone who questions my authority will find a mangled cricket on their pillow tonight.” 2. “Why are you asking me to smile? Our people smile for no one.” 3. “Don’t you dare come at me […]
A shocking example of climate change, through the eyes of a feline… Hi, People with two legs! It’s me, Scotch the cat. I’m on Daddy’s toplap again, the thing I’m not supposed to be on, like the kitchen table and stuff that can break, but I don’t think […]
Yep, the rising feline star receives actual fan mail from time to time, a clear indication that we have some folks who might need to get out of the house a little more. I thought it was only appropriate that Scotch respond to these missives, since these folks […]
1. The Deception. One must never allow the feline to view the cat carrier until it is absolutely necessary. If unplanned, premature viewing takes place, the cat will instantly head for Venezuela. This will happen even if they are playing frenziedly with their favorite toy or intensely grooming […]
Hi, everybody! It’s me again, playing on Daddy’s toplap because he’s in the Food Room trying to make a breakfast burrito. He’ll be in there a while, because he makes them extra special and puts lots of stuff in them, stuff that I can barely smell before I […]
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