1. “I am king of this box. And my rule will be unstoppable. Anyone who questions my authority will find a mangled cricket on their pillow tonight.” 2. “Why are you asking me to smile? Our people smile for no one.” 3. “Don’t you dare come at me […]
A shocking example of climate change, through the eyes of a feline… Hi, People with two legs! It’s me, Scotch the cat. I’m on Daddy’s toplap again, the thing I’m not supposed to be on, like the kitchen table and stuff that can break, but I don’t think […]
Yep, the rising feline star receives actual fan mail from time to time, a clear indication that we have some folks who might need to get out of the house a little more. I thought it was only appropriate that Scotch respond to these missives, since these folks […]
1. The Deception. One must never allow the feline to view the cat carrier until it is absolutely necessary. If unplanned, premature viewing takes place, the cat will instantly head for Venezuela. This will happen even if they are playing frenziedly with their favorite toy or intensely grooming […]
Hi, everybody! It’s me again, playing on Daddy’s toplap because he’s in the Food Room trying to make a breakfast burrito. He’ll be in there a while, because he makes them extra special and puts lots of stuff in them, stuff that I can barely smell before I […]
Hi Daddy, This is Scotch. Well, I think I’m Scotch. It’s hard for me to remember, because I’m a simple cat. Things are confusing. Sometimes you call me Bo-Bo, and sometimes Other Daddy calls me Scooter. Sometimes I don’t know if you’re talking to me, or to other […]
Okay, what happened was… I woke up. That’s all I did. I was napping in one of my secret places, behind the purple couch with the too-big pillows that smell like me because, well, I can’t leave stuff alone. I like it back there. You have to squeeze […]
1. I really hate walking on the treadmill. It’s not the treadmill’s fault. He’s really nice. It’s the concept of exercise overall. Back in the day, when I didn’t have to exercise, but actually had an abundance of energy to do it, I was much more accepting of […]
Editor’s Note: All writers have that file or bin where they tuck rough-cut stories that are in their infancy, possible seeds for something that might prove worthy in the long run, and then life intervenes and they never return to those seeds. In a moment of possibly insanity, […]
So, just a few minutes ago, whilst sitting here working on my latest blog post, I reached that point you hit where you can’t think of what to say next. I decided a break was in order, and I wandered into the kitchen for a distraction. I found […]
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