First there was this, one morning, with the sun still newborn Beckoning quaintly, softly, painted on a rock wall No flashy billboards in this quiet mountain town, stuffed with garishness Fake smiles filled with fake teeth, techno beats from advertising dances Here they keep it simple. This is […]
Pablo de Pato, surveying his kingdom, spotted the interloping tourists unloading their SUV outside the nearby villa. All of them were very chatty and exuberant, traits that were not necessarily favored in this sun-baked land. It was now necessary to protect the realm, and steps must be taken. […]
And so it was That we got on a plane With all that associated pain The suckage was, indeed, fierce The layovers, the lay-abouts, the lackadaisicality Of humans behaving badly (And not caring) Finally, the madness ended And there were no more interminable lines Only a car, arranged, […]
Flashback… On the patio, Hemington, England, 9am, 22 May 2015 There’s a young lamb in the neighbor’s yard, bleating and prancing about, welcoming the day. Her name is Charlotte, a tribute to the recent addition to the royal lineage, courtesy of Prince William and Duchess Catherine. Apparently this […]
Gracie learned at a young age that most people were completely useless, and that the only way to have a satisfactory life was to avoid those fools entirely. And keep reading books… Originally posted in “Crusty Pie” on 03/10/17. No changes made. And yes, I had the […]
Amazon Operator: “How may I direct your call?” Katharine: “I need to speak with someone about my order.” Operator: “May I ask about the nature of your concern?” Katharine: “They sent me the wrong thing, that’s my concern.” Operator: “I see. And what were you expecting to get?” […]
1. Salt on lettuce makes my tongue swell. Not making this up. And it’s just salt and lettuce. If I’m having a salad with other ingredients, or lettuce on a burger, or any situation where there’s additional players on the food team, it’s all good, nothing happens. And […]
Nancy: “Why are you banging on my door?” Banging Man: “Have you accepted Jesus into your heart?” Nancy: “Does it look like I would be friends with him on Facebook?” Banging Man: “We can all be redeemed as long as we have faith. And some disposable income for […]
Alfred was appalled at Tallulah’s suggestion that he didn’t know how to properly direct this scene. Tallulah was appalled that only one rose had been delivered to her dressing room. The script supervisor was appalled that Tallulah thought her outfit was fetching in any way; with markings like […]
Much to her dismay, Irene’s powerful interpretive dance about the mating habits of the Balinese Freckled Stork failed to impress her fellow passengers, and she was shunned later that evening in the First Class Dining Room. Undeterred, because she had been bred with premium-stock Connecticut money, she marched […]
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