Reporter, passing by: “Excuse me, gentlemen. Could I have a word with you?” Edward, left: “We’re a little busy here and this thing is kind of heavy so… no.” James, right: “Get lost, sister.” Reporter: “This will only take a few minutes. I couldn’t help but notice that […]
Ruth: “I suppose we should get up and actually do something with our lives.” Betty: “I don’t really see the point. I still have plenty of cigarettes left, I could do this all day. Although it would be nice to have an ashtray. Sorry about the carpet, dear.” […]
Note: This bit from the archives is not necessarily a Thanksgiving story, but it does involve turkey, so I’m latching on to that and running with it… So, I innocently wander into the kitchen, wanting a little snack but not really sure what that might entail. I’m not […]
1. They both make a lot of pointless noise about nothing. 2. When you put them in the same room they all look exactly alike. 3. Both groups could float in the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade, one for the theme and the other for the hot air and […]
Hey, Folks. Just a quick bit to let you know where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing. I think the above photo explains it quite nicely. No? You’re not sure what the image is and there are things going on that seem odd and it’s not clear […]
Charlie was surprised when the Immigration Officer informed him that he wasn’t allowed to bring that many mistresses into the country. The Immigration Officer was surprised that Charlie had tried to claim on his declarations form that the mistresses were “work-related purchases”. Most of the mistresses were surprised […]
As he tossed and turned, covered in a light sweat, the writer had a fever dream wherein, late one dark and stormy night, certain correspondents knocked on the door at Bonnywood Manor, demanding entry and entertainment and booze. The writer sighed (inwardly), smiled graciously (outwardly), and turned to […]
1. You watch a TV show that you’re not all that interested in just because you’re too exhausted to figure out how to get to that Guide channel on the new remote that your partner keeps swapping out every two weeks. (Why must we always have new ones? […]
At the premiere of the newest talkie, All This and a Bag of Chips, everyone who was anyone in Hollywood showed up at Grubman’s Vietnamese Art Deco Movie Palace and Taqueria. Milling about in the crowd of artificially young and beautiful was the ravishing (according to her press […]
Clarissa, left: “Bernadette, honey, I don’t know if you were right about this hat.” Bernadette, right: “Don’t be silly. It’s terribly fashionable and it makes a statement.” Clarissa: “The statement it’s making is that I can’t see a damn thing. I’m just looking in the direction of your […]
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