I tried to wash that man right out of my hair, just like the song says, but I ran into a few complications. One, I couldn’t find the right shampoo at Walgreen’s. (Exactly what ingredient should you look for? Essence of Man-Gone? Botanical Banishment? Pregnancy-Scare Prunes?) Somebody really […]
Lady on the Left: “Wow. That’s some really interesting needlepoint you’re doing there.” Lady on the Right: “Why, thank you. I’m making a commemorative swatch of the night I killed my husband.” Left: “How fascinating. May I ask a question?” Right: “Of course. I just admitted to taking […]
In the early Twentieth Century, women were not allowed to purchase lingerie without the participation of an advisory committee, with at least two members wearing annoying hats during the proceedings. At Greta Jean’s Emporium of Chastely Coverings (“Helping Privates Remain Private since 1873!”), we join a group of […]
Rose: “Remember when we were young and we carved our names into this sled to show our eternal love?” Bud: “I sure do, honey. It was a magical moment.” Rose: “Well, the magic is dead now. And the love is no longer eternal. I want a divorce.” Bud: […]
Norma: “Come into my arms, my love. Let me show my world to you.” Director: “Cut! Norma, you’re off script. And why do you look like you’re one morphine drip away from a sanitarium? You’re supposed to be on the verge of rapturous love-making with the man that […]
1. Do not tell people that you are my beloved until this has been fully discussed between us and official documents have been signed. Likewise, do not update your relationship status on any social media app without the proper coordination. This is something that we should do together, […]
Edmund: “Here we go, love. Smile for the cameraman.” Millie: “I’m so excited to be going on our honeymoon!” Edmund: “Me as well. We finally get to consummate our relationship, my poodle.” Millie: “Well, about that. It won’t be happening.” Edmund: “But we’ve just gotten married, precious. We […]
A study in double entendres from the archives, wherein everyone is saying one thing and meaning another… Noel began to wonder if his marriage was on the rocks once his wife began to taunt him with smoking implements during breakfast. Naturally, this prospect initially troubled him, as […]
Stephanie was not having a very good day. She had arisen that morning later than she had planned, the unintended but not surprising result of having spent much of the previous evening on an ill-fated agenda of clearing the sexual cobwebs, so to speak. (It had been three […]
The progressive crowd at this trendy Greenwich Village nightclub was thrilled when Millicent and Penelope dared to openly show their love in a public setting. In reality, there was no showing, there was only Millie’s brooch becoming ensnared in Penny’s décolletage as they both raced to get the […]
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