1. “Is there a particular reason why you can’t unload the dishwasher? Is it a religious issue?” 2. “That button on the DVR remote that says ‘Delete All’? What happens if you accidentally push that? And what happens if I’m the one who pushed it?” 3. “You think […]
Clarissa, left: “Why, yes, Mother. I am feeling a little blue. However did you know?” Mother, always right: “Partly because I gave birth to you and I can sense your erratic mood swings. But mostly because I could hear you from the other room, sighing with the increasing […]
“I love you more than beer.” “You complete my bobble-head collection.” “You tractor-pulled my heart.” “Your eyes sparkle like moonshine.” “You are the prettiest girl in the Wal-Marts parking lot.” “I love you like a sister. Oh wait…” “Love means never […]
As the evening waned, Melanie did have a few regrets. Perhaps she shouldn’t have chosen to wear ballet slippers with an outfit that strongly hinted of working on the serving line at Furr’s Cafeteria. She had initially found this ensemble to be saucily enticing, with its erotic subliminal […]
I’m working on my blog, minding my own business, on a Sunday afternoon. The phone rings. It’s Terry. He’s calling from Odessa, where he and the brother and sister that are still on speaking terms are taking care of family business. There is no telling what […]
Henry was somewhat regretting his decision. After all, he hadn’t been here for years. Decades, possibly. Time skitters once you reach a certain age, with current happenings briefly shimmering in the neck of the wine bottle, but once you uncork, the vessel of memory expands and long ago […]
I’m normally not one to get mushy and sentimental when it comes to my personal relationships, at least here at Bonnywood. Sure, Partner is mentioned from time to time, but I generally steer clear of composing lyrical ballads filled with swooning passion or sharing quasi-intimate photos of us […]
Note: Change the pronouns around however you like to fit the dynamics of your own relationship. This is an equal-opportunity whine-fest, and all variations of love are fully embraced here at Bonnywood Manor. 1. He changes the car radio right in the middle of a song that […]
I tried to wash that man right out of my hair, just like the song says, but I ran into a few complications. One, I couldn’t find the right shampoo at Walgreen’s. (Exactly what ingredient should you look for? Essence of Man-Gone? Botanical Banishment? Pregnancy-Scare Prunes?) Somebody really […]
Lady on the Left: “Wow. That’s some really interesting needlepoint you’re doing there.” Lady on the Right: “Why, thank you. I’m making a commemorative swatch of the night I killed my husband.” Left: “How fascinating. May I ask a question?” Right: “Of course. I just admitted to taking […]
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