Photographer: “Inez, honey, could you put that down? Inez: “What? The book?” Photographer: “No, your…. why in the world are you even doing that?” Inez: “What? Reading?” Photographer, sighing: “Your leg, Inez. Are you sending a signal to the Coast Guard?” Inez: “No, dear. The AC is out […]
Howdy, Clam Bakers. As some of you are surely aware, Bonnywood Manor recently hosted a series of seminars by the esteemed Dr. Brian, an uncertified psychologist renowned for his ability to take a mere bit of happenstance and turn it into a chronic condition requiring years of intensive […]
Once upon a time, in a land where the summer sun can kill your soul, on the patio of a restaurant bar where the libations eased the slow heat-death, a discussion took place betwixt a certain writer and a certain beloved person in the writer’s life. The conversation […]
Michael: “My darling, isn’t it lovely, being out in here in the woods?” Liza: “Well, I suppose you could say that. But there is one thing that’s troubling me…” Michael, sighing: “I knew this day would come. But I can assure you that despite what you’ve heard at […]
Kim: “I seem to have snagged my dress on something and I’m unable to release my pent-up desires.” William: “Who cares about your dress? I’ve got my shirt caught on this dead Cooter Tree and it’s making me pose in an unrealistic manner.” Kim: “Well, at least your […]
One question that writers often get asked is “where do you get your ideas?” This query can be a bit thorny at times and, depending on the current mood and possible medication-levels of the writer, the responses can range from “I did exhaustive research in the library for […]
William: “Darling, could you explain to me why you’re doing what you’re doing?” Jean: “We’ve already discussed this, poodle. I’m practicing to be a brain surgeon.” William: “Why do I get the feeling that this lovely procedure is not something you’ve ever read in a textbook?” Jean: “Textbook? […]
Several years ago, as I was naively living what I thought was a rather satisfactory life, a dear friend pulled me to the side, handed me a margarita, waited for me to finish it (which took 3 seconds, because I have skills), and then said: “Everything you are […]
1. Lik-A-Stix This treasure came in the form of three connected paper pouches, filled with what was essentially colored and flavored sugar, and then this long, flat “stick” that looked like somebody had stepped on a piece of chalk. You took the stick, tore the opening strip off […]
Crystal, left: “Do you have any idea what we’re supposed to be doing in this scene?” Methal, right: “Beats me. Something about innocent virgins in the forest being stalked by men with unresolved childhood issues. They had ten-cent drinks at Piero’s last night, so I barely looked at […]
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