With a final grunt of exertion and feathers, Pablo de Pato completed the guard tower of his new battlements atop a majestic mountain in the Vallejo de Cómpeta. As the mortar dried in the golden sun, he puffed his chest in pride at how his new battlements would […]
Somewhere, over there Many thousands of miles Lies my homeland Where so much Has gone so wrong Democracy has been wounded Stabbed by the flailing blind Compelled by ignorance and fear I don’t understand How some can harbor so much hate Such indecency, festering, fertilized in the […]
I really didn’t mean for it to happen. It just did. The afternoon had been going splendidly. Another session by the pool with my three compadres. Spirits were flowing, naturally, as such procedures are dictated in the international bylaws of vacationing in a country that is not your […]
Pablo de Pato, left: “Hold up. Who are you and why are you in my kingdom?” Scotch the Duck, right: “I’m not sure how I got here. I was sunning in my favorite spot at Casa Bonnywood and then I woke up in a suitcase. It was dark […]
First there was this, one morning, with the sun still newborn Beckoning quaintly, softly, painted on a rock wall No flashy billboards in this quiet mountain town, stuffed with garishness Fake smiles filled with fake teeth, techno beats from advertising dances Here they keep it simple. This is […]
Pablo de Pato, surveying his kingdom, spotted the interloping tourists unloading their SUV outside the nearby villa. All of them were very chatty and exuberant, traits that were not necessarily favored in this sun-baked land. It was now necessary to protect the realm, and steps must be taken. […]
And so it was That we got on a plane With all that associated pain The suckage was, indeed, fierce The layovers, the lay-abouts, the lackadaisicality Of humans behaving badly (And not caring) Finally, the madness ended And there were no more interminable lines Only a car, arranged, […]
Fair disclosure: We’re actually flying TO Spain and not FROM Mexico later today, but I thought this little rant from years ago was still appropriate. After all, some things never change. Enjoy. 1. Okay, hold up, all you heathens thundering toward the frightened ticket-taker at the gate. They’re […]
Ramon: “My love, I don’t quite understand why my affections don’t have you on the verge of ovulation.” Evelyn: “Really? Well, let me help you out a bit, although I’m not quite sure where to start. Oh, screw that, let’s start with you doing everything you can to […]
Dear Diary, I am a wretched and horrible human being. Oh wait, perhaps I should catch you up a bit. You see, once upon a time, I was having a delightful digital conversation with the lovely Embeecee (otherwise known as the Once and Future Queen of Utah, long […]
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