Cary: “So, did you sneak in the hacksaw so I can cut through these bars and blow this joint?” Katharine: “I might have. Or maybe I didn’t. You need to answer some questions first.” Cary: “I got nothin’ else to do in here except hope that I don’t […]
Corinne: “Go to Hollywood, they said. Become a big star, they promised. And it all worked out for a while, and I got to go to all the right parties. Then some fool invented talking pictures, and overnight my career tanked. Now I’m stuck doing ill-advised publicity shots […]
Note: For this one to work, you should be aware that Mary Fallin is currently the governor of Oklahoma, and she graduated with honors from the Trump University School of Cultural Demonization and Delusional Hypocrisy. Rachel Maddow is the host of a news program on MSNBC… As […]
Another music video review, this one indirectly inspired by Lisa at “All About Life”… We start out with a close-up of a billiards ball falling into a side pocket, which could mean absolutely anything, so this is already a tricky video. The camera pans up and then […]
Henry: “I yearn for you desperately.” Barbara: “How touching. But as you can see by the perfect curl artfully-arranged on my forehead, I’m not particularly fond of touching. Because it might jack with the curl and I spent far too much time in makeup for such a thing […]
So, it has come to my attention (mainly because I was bored and trying to delete older, no-longer-needed files so my laptop would quit advising me that my storage capacity was at Defcon-4) that it has been nearly a year since I did one of these Clam Bakes. […]
King Edward VIII: “And so it is with heavy heart that I must abdicate the throne so I can be with the woman I love. I’m sure that many of you are worried about what this means for our country and the value of the commemorative plates you […]
Director: “Has anybody seen Marlon? I need him on the set.” Bitter Scriptwriter: “Why does he have to be here? My words are superb. Anybody could do this scene, assuming that they can read.” Not-bitter Production Assistant who still believed that she could bed The Brando given the […]
A long time ago and far away (okay, it was eight years ago and in a neighboring town), I ran a blog series that seemed like a great idea at the time. The following ludicrous artifact is the first installment in that questionable effort. This one runs a […]
Another missive from the “Idiot Fondue” archives, wherein I posed as a psychotherapist and responded to inane queries from creative readers. Enjoy. And the mailman just handed me this: Dear Dr. Brian: Sometimes I need to eat quickly and cheap, but I’m having a fast food dilemma. […]
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